Christmas is done. It was nice. A lot of details I will not bore you with (or let you too far into my intimate life), but I gave meaningful gifts, received many generous ones that were very appreciated, and had lots of memorable moments with my family and that of my better half.
I am fat though. well, relatively speaking. I am NOT fat, but I am bulging out of my clothes a little more than I'd like, and crossed my weight threshold (the number I set for myself to always maintain as a maximum). So I am working on getting those numbers down and coming up with my game plan. I am just waiting to sort out if soccer is in the cards for winter. If not, I'll play vball twice weekly, then probably hit a gym.
I am loving work this week with no one around. It's so calm and there's barely anyone in the city. The muffled tranquility of inside my winter coat's hood and scarf make walking to the metro in the morning all the more enjoyable too.
For new year's eve, I'll be doing exactly what I did last year: spending the evening with my boyfriend at a place we're housesitting that is amazing, and he'll be cooking dinner, as usual. We'll most likely spend it watching a movie or the show Community, the Season 1 episodes of which we're watching one after the other.
Alright, I am off to meet my namorado for dinner and coffee with a friend.
I wish you all a very sloppy and love-filled New Year's celebration, whatever it is you do. I hope that the next time I write, I'll be talking about my having started working out again and getting uber fit. Oh and my boyfriend and I are supposed to go to drop-in circus school sometime in January to learn handstands properly, among other things, and this is SO VERY VERY EXCITING to me.
Talk soon.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Baby did a bad, bad thing...
This is a post about gifts, since I am not in the mood to discuss how very, very indulgent and lazy I've been. I'll say this though, having my hip out and my team sports being cut short early... well that would be my excuse, but really, I'm just being bad. The result is me craving energy in the form of every form of sugar imaginable, but mainly cupcakes and ice cream. In any case, I'm not here to self-flagellate, because I know that does absolutely nada. I will touch on a completely unrelated topic instead, that of gift giving.
I would like to call this little ditty "Love, don't sell it to me, mine is free."
Once upon a time...wait, no, scratch that, ALL THE TIME, I am ripping my hair out to come up with ideas for this gift or that, for this birthday or that Christmas do or any number of events for which there is a now-standard gift-giving protocol to which one must abide at the risk of losing face. It has caused me stress to the point of tears, to the point that trying to come up with ideas for just one person takes days, let alone for a list of my nearest and dearest. Anxiety has now formed around this issue.
The other day, faced with the fear of not giving something suitable to my significant other for our anniversary (since my birthday gift efforts constituted what I would call an EPIC FAIL, and Christmas is looking to be the same), I was in a state of panic. I couldn't move, figuratively speaking. But move I did. I decided to spend lunch after lunch (usually reserved for my calming walks that get me through the day), to do what everybody else does and shop, that's right, in stores, with people and all, at Christmas time, downtown. I would pick one or two stores, since my lunch is only 30 minutes, and try to brainstorm. For weeks this went on, and guess what I ended up getting after every single other idea fell through for various reasons beyond my control: the game of Battleship.
Meanwhile, in the land of the affluent, I heard talks of gifts in the hundreds of dollars not being suitable enough, and of leaving out hints for gift ideas such as jewellery and purse makers, so a girl could have "things that girls love." Ahem! I thought to myself, is that really all it boils down to nowadays, people not wanting to be perceived as 'cheap' by any means, and resorting to cliches with absolutely no meaning or depth? What girl defines the degree to which she is loved by the price of the gifts thrown at her? I, for one, do not. In fact, call me strange, but I get proportionately more excited for a small token than I do for a gift heftier in the status department.
I started to feel proud of myself for Battleship and all it represents. I felt safe in the knowledge that my significant other would not only understand that obligatory gift giving really isn't my forte, but that even if he might expect something bigger or better, he would "get" that this meant some silly time we could spend together, because THAT is what I really want, and what I really love to give.
Call me vain, cheap, or what have you, but the time people spend with me, and the time I give them, is the greatest gift.
I spent years in a relationship defined, very much against my will, by our ability to come up with distractions, things to play with. Now, I prize my current relationship, and my friendships, for the care people give me.
But I will play the game nonetheless, because I DO love those around me, and I DO wish I could give them everything. But now I am looking at things in a whole new light and trying to find my inner inspiration to get back to the simpler things.
I wish you all a sane, courteous and pleasant (if at all possible) shopping experience. Remember that the attitude you convey in such unpleasant situations will usually radiate to your fellow citizens, so be nice, even to strangers. If someone is disagreeable, show what a big person you are and quietly and discreetly proceed to kick their shins, steal their stuff and run. :)
Have a great evening kiddos!
I would like to call this little ditty "Love, don't sell it to me, mine is free."
Once upon a time...wait, no, scratch that, ALL THE TIME, I am ripping my hair out to come up with ideas for this gift or that, for this birthday or that Christmas do or any number of events for which there is a now-standard gift-giving protocol to which one must abide at the risk of losing face. It has caused me stress to the point of tears, to the point that trying to come up with ideas for just one person takes days, let alone for a list of my nearest and dearest. Anxiety has now formed around this issue.
The other day, faced with the fear of not giving something suitable to my significant other for our anniversary (since my birthday gift efforts constituted what I would call an EPIC FAIL, and Christmas is looking to be the same), I was in a state of panic. I couldn't move, figuratively speaking. But move I did. I decided to spend lunch after lunch (usually reserved for my calming walks that get me through the day), to do what everybody else does and shop, that's right, in stores, with people and all, at Christmas time, downtown. I would pick one or two stores, since my lunch is only 30 minutes, and try to brainstorm. For weeks this went on, and guess what I ended up getting after every single other idea fell through for various reasons beyond my control: the game of Battleship.
Meanwhile, in the land of the affluent, I heard talks of gifts in the hundreds of dollars not being suitable enough, and of leaving out hints for gift ideas such as jewellery and purse makers, so a girl could have "things that girls love." Ahem! I thought to myself, is that really all it boils down to nowadays, people not wanting to be perceived as 'cheap' by any means, and resorting to cliches with absolutely no meaning or depth? What girl defines the degree to which she is loved by the price of the gifts thrown at her? I, for one, do not. In fact, call me strange, but I get proportionately more excited for a small token than I do for a gift heftier in the status department.
I started to feel proud of myself for Battleship and all it represents. I felt safe in the knowledge that my significant other would not only understand that obligatory gift giving really isn't my forte, but that even if he might expect something bigger or better, he would "get" that this meant some silly time we could spend together, because THAT is what I really want, and what I really love to give.
Call me vain, cheap, or what have you, but the time people spend with me, and the time I give them, is the greatest gift.
I spent years in a relationship defined, very much against my will, by our ability to come up with distractions, things to play with. Now, I prize my current relationship, and my friendships, for the care people give me.
But I will play the game nonetheless, because I DO love those around me, and I DO wish I could give them everything. But now I am looking at things in a whole new light and trying to find my inner inspiration to get back to the simpler things.
I wish you all a sane, courteous and pleasant (if at all possible) shopping experience. Remember that the attitude you convey in such unpleasant situations will usually radiate to your fellow citizens, so be nice, even to strangers. If someone is disagreeable, show what a big person you are and quietly and discreetly proceed to kick their shins, steal their stuff and run. :)
Have a great evening kiddos!
Monday, December 5, 2011
I should feel bad...
I should feel bad (not guilty, but at least VERY responsible for and aware of my actions) because I am being a baaad girl. Not only am I officially out of sports for the next few weeks because of a hip injury, but I am eating way more junk than I'd like to admit. High quality junk, but junk nonetheless.
Some of it I don't mind. Like the red velvet cupcake I was generously offered today that rocked my world. But some of the little things I've been eating here and there, when I originally tell myself no, is what will do me in if it doesn't stop.
So I think that this weekend I should come up with a game plan, some sort of structured approach to get me through the next month. In January, I should be completely recovered and will be playing team sports three nights weekly, in addition to my Portugese classes. For now, though, I need ideas, strokes of genius to fit in exercise while I have a limp and cannot push myself too hard.
Onto another subject before I head off to my second-to-last Level 1 class, did I mention I've rediscovered my love for Christmas. Well only time will tell really (once the day itself has passed, when I invariably declare that I hate this holiday and want to escape to the woods alone), but I have high hopes. The main reason is that I have a certain someone in the house whose child-like love of all things yuletide is infectious. That's right, I caught Christmas fever, aka influenza XMAS2011.
Okay, gotta run, take care munchkins!
Some of it I don't mind. Like the red velvet cupcake I was generously offered today that rocked my world. But some of the little things I've been eating here and there, when I originally tell myself no, is what will do me in if it doesn't stop.
So I think that this weekend I should come up with a game plan, some sort of structured approach to get me through the next month. In January, I should be completely recovered and will be playing team sports three nights weekly, in addition to my Portugese classes. For now, though, I need ideas, strokes of genius to fit in exercise while I have a limp and cannot push myself too hard.
Onto another subject before I head off to my second-to-last Level 1 class, did I mention I've rediscovered my love for Christmas. Well only time will tell really (once the day itself has passed, when I invariably declare that I hate this holiday and want to escape to the woods alone), but I have high hopes. The main reason is that I have a certain someone in the house whose child-like love of all things yuletide is infectious. That's right, I caught Christmas fever, aka influenza XMAS2011.
Okay, gotta run, take care munchkins!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
BEFORE AND AFTER
Excuse me if I have posted before-and-afters in the past, but this one goes to Big C, who asked me for some. The problem is that I absolutely don't want to post really unflattering photos of myself, out of respect for my chunkier self, but these ones don't quite capture how "bulky" I think I'd become. In any case, I've provided two face shots and two full-length photos, so you get an idea. I send huge props to my fellow bloggers trying to lose four times the amount of weight I lost. As we say in French, courage!
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| Me at a wedding in 2009 I think, immediately after a breakup. |
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| My face in 2006 in Chennai, India. |
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| Me at a wedding in May 2011, with my new man and looking and feeling so much better than the year prior. |
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| Me in October 2011, now having reached my goal of 50 lbs, and able to indulge in such delicious meals without stress. |
a reminder, and some SMART tidbits
Hey folks!
I have some good news and also a refresher course on goal-setting at the end. As I mentioned in my last post or so, I asked all those of you who may be undertaking a project--weight loss or otherwise--to look at my post on the SMART approach. It is widely advocated and used in a number of fields, but when it comes to your health, I think it is a completely valid first step (and something all of us should brush up on every now and again to make sure we continue to set reasonable, achievable goals for ourselves).
As for me, well I've signed up for two court volleyball teams for late January, I'll be moving on to level 2 Portugese then as well, and I have decided to stick with my indoor soccer team too, even though I was afraid the better guys on the team wanted to move us up to a new, more competitve level. Now that all's said and done, I have warmed up to the notion of being on a team that wins, as long as I get to keep playing with a friend of mine. I'm also excited because I'll be reuniting with my beach volleyball team on the hard floor. After playing with them for two years, you do build quite a rapport, and it will be nice to be in touch again.
In other news, I picked up all of JD Salinger's works of genius at a used book store today. I also enjoyed a burger, and with great restraint, did NOT take a pop or fries. Instead, I savoured the juicy beef, whole wheat bun and condiments with a side of water. After weeks of eating in restaurants, I am struggling to once again (my eternal problem) get back into a routine of preparing meals at home consistently.
My friend asked if I had ever posted before and after photos on here. I believe I did, but since I don't have the time or desire to sift through old posts to check, I will post again immediately following this one, with some eye candy for you ha!
I'll have more to say soon, perhaps on the weekend, about my mood lately. For now I can say I am generally feeling good. Oh, and if you genuinely need an overdose of happy, go see the latest Muppets movie. You may be in for a deeply pleasant surprise.
Have a great evening! I am off to soccer, but I leave you with the SMART steps below, and will re-post shortly.
****
Specific: Specify the behavior you wish to change. Instead of saying, for example, "I will be healthier," determine a particular healthy behavior you will work toward integrating into your life. "I will exercise 3 days a week," or "I will floss my teeth every other day," or "I will eat a piece of fruit every day" are examples.
Measurable: means you can evaluate your progress. So instead of saying "I will increase my exercise," identify the number of days you will be active and/or the amount of time you will put into your regimen. "I will do cardio two days a week for half an hour and lift weights two days a week for twenty minutes" is a measurable goal.
Achievable and Realistic take into account your ability and lifestyle, as well as the rationality of your goal. Saying you're going to do something like exercise "every day" is probably unrealistic, as is setting a goal to "never" do something else like eat chocolate. Do previous injuries prevent you from running a marathon? Will you really be able to maintain 110 pounds? Set goals that are not too easy, but are within your reach.
Time Frame your goals whether it be by the day, week, month, or year, and reassess as necessary. "I will work out 3 days a week for half an hour in the month of January" is a time-framed goal. At the end of the month, I can see if I accomplished my goal and if there are changes I would like to make for the following month.
I have some good news and also a refresher course on goal-setting at the end. As I mentioned in my last post or so, I asked all those of you who may be undertaking a project--weight loss or otherwise--to look at my post on the SMART approach. It is widely advocated and used in a number of fields, but when it comes to your health, I think it is a completely valid first step (and something all of us should brush up on every now and again to make sure we continue to set reasonable, achievable goals for ourselves).
As for me, well I've signed up for two court volleyball teams for late January, I'll be moving on to level 2 Portugese then as well, and I have decided to stick with my indoor soccer team too, even though I was afraid the better guys on the team wanted to move us up to a new, more competitve level. Now that all's said and done, I have warmed up to the notion of being on a team that wins, as long as I get to keep playing with a friend of mine. I'm also excited because I'll be reuniting with my beach volleyball team on the hard floor. After playing with them for two years, you do build quite a rapport, and it will be nice to be in touch again.
In other news, I picked up all of JD Salinger's works of genius at a used book store today. I also enjoyed a burger, and with great restraint, did NOT take a pop or fries. Instead, I savoured the juicy beef, whole wheat bun and condiments with a side of water. After weeks of eating in restaurants, I am struggling to once again (my eternal problem) get back into a routine of preparing meals at home consistently.
My friend asked if I had ever posted before and after photos on here. I believe I did, but since I don't have the time or desire to sift through old posts to check, I will post again immediately following this one, with some eye candy for you ha!
I'll have more to say soon, perhaps on the weekend, about my mood lately. For now I can say I am generally feeling good. Oh, and if you genuinely need an overdose of happy, go see the latest Muppets movie. You may be in for a deeply pleasant surprise.
Have a great evening! I am off to soccer, but I leave you with the SMART steps below, and will re-post shortly.
****
Specific: Specify the behavior you wish to change. Instead of saying, for example, "I will be healthier," determine a particular healthy behavior you will work toward integrating into your life. "I will exercise 3 days a week," or "I will floss my teeth every other day," or "I will eat a piece of fruit every day" are examples.
Measurable: means you can evaluate your progress. So instead of saying "I will increase my exercise," identify the number of days you will be active and/or the amount of time you will put into your regimen. "I will do cardio two days a week for half an hour and lift weights two days a week for twenty minutes" is a measurable goal.
Achievable and Realistic take into account your ability and lifestyle, as well as the rationality of your goal. Saying you're going to do something like exercise "every day" is probably unrealistic, as is setting a goal to "never" do something else like eat chocolate. Do previous injuries prevent you from running a marathon? Will you really be able to maintain 110 pounds? Set goals that are not too easy, but are within your reach.
Time Frame your goals whether it be by the day, week, month, or year, and reassess as necessary. "I will work out 3 days a week for half an hour in the month of January" is a time-framed goal. At the end of the month, I can see if I accomplished my goal and if there are changes I would like to make for the following month.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
testingggg, testinggg, 1, 2, 3...
I am simply writing this post to check something: a few friends recently asked me to re-add them to the mailing list for my blog. I have done so and this post is to see if they're out there and reading it.
If you are, go back and read my posts from the last few months, there aren't that many but it will give you an idea of where I am at in terms of progress, effort, ambition, and so on.
I can sum it up as follows: I lost 50 lbs, tried to lose more, got super fit, then was forced into a hiatus since beach volleyball was cancelled and I took on other less physical hobbies like learning Portugese. I have decided to take a few months off hardcore exercise, and to do the minimum to maintain my weight where it is. I decided I am completely HAPPY, that's right HAPPY with my body for the first time ever. My muscle has softened and I look very curvy and womanly again, yet in shape. I do look forward to getting back to exercising. For now I'm being careful about food.
I play soccer on Thursdays, volleyball Wednesdays on occasion, I walk for 20 minutes or so most lunches, and I try not to be lazy in general.
Keep it up everyone!
If you are, go back and read my posts from the last few months, there aren't that many but it will give you an idea of where I am at in terms of progress, effort, ambition, and so on.
I can sum it up as follows: I lost 50 lbs, tried to lose more, got super fit, then was forced into a hiatus since beach volleyball was cancelled and I took on other less physical hobbies like learning Portugese. I have decided to take a few months off hardcore exercise, and to do the minimum to maintain my weight where it is. I decided I am completely HAPPY, that's right HAPPY with my body for the first time ever. My muscle has softened and I look very curvy and womanly again, yet in shape. I do look forward to getting back to exercising. For now I'm being careful about food.
I play soccer on Thursdays, volleyball Wednesdays on occasion, I walk for 20 minutes or so most lunches, and I try not to be lazy in general.
Keep it up everyone!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
An update is in order... and a few thoughts.
Where to start, where to start.
Well let me begin with this little success story.
Over the last year, many people have commented on how impressed they are with what I've done and how I've maintained the weight loss and yadda yadda yadda. Many also say they wish they had my motivation and that they plan to start taking better care of themselves... rarely is this followed up with any substance. One excepttion: This awkward, weird but very sweet man has come up to me five or six times asking me for advice, tips on how to eat, how to workout, etc. I genuinely wanted to help him, until I got the feeling I should just tell him to see a nutritionist, educate himself, and do it his own way. So I failed to answer him at all.
Recently, a friend crossed paths with him and noticed he'd lost a bunch of weight. When she asked about it, he claimed that I had motivated him and set off a light bulb about his need to take better care of himself. Eventually I congratulated him on doing something good for himself, and having chosen to do it in a very healthy way that isn't focused only on losing pounds.
The reason this struck me is because I had come to the conlcusion just weeks before that despite everyone's supposed "inspiration" drawn from me, no one can do this without finding their very own kick in the ass (motivation). So that is some great news.
This very same piece of news is what brings me back to you, fair readers, today. While I feel sufficiently in control of my weight and health these days, and don't particularly feel the need to blog, if there's any chance it might help anyone, it's worth it for me to do this. Why, you ask? Because I am becoming increasingly intolerant of people's need to starve, deprive and hate themselves over a few extra pounds (most people's case, but not all I know), and their unwillingness to use education and common sense to do something about it.
People repeatedly set themselves up for failure. So for anyone reading who intends to or is in the process of trying to get in shape, please look up the concept of SMART (or see one of my very first posts ever, on that topic).
In my opinion, the people who do these things are concerned with vanity, not health. People truly concerned about their health would not feed themselves none of this or none of that for weeks at a time, or workout until they burn out, if they didn't hate themselves deep-down.
If people could force themselves to say every day that having extra pounds does NOT define you, but your ACTIONS do, maybe they could try to make 1 healthier choice that day. Saying no to today's little treat or simply postponing it. Taking the stairs all day instead of the escalator. Making a lunch so you can eat at your desk and take your lunch to get fresh air, think a little and walk around. Read a few pages of a book instead of watching TV... and so on. Basically it's alllllllll about small choices. Small, everyday stupid little choices that compound and lead to a huge wave of change in your life.
So, stop being stupid and lazy. Start caring about yourself enough to do just what you are capable of doing for now. Don't push too hard. Be nice and dust yourself off each time you "fail". You will fail. But don't be defeated ever, until you are dead. When you're old and can't do 1/10th of the things you can do now, you will be happy you made those small choices.
Okay, stepping off my high horse to get back to my own daily battle to fight for my health. And if you try to say to me "I wish I could lose weight as easily as you", expect a solid punch in the face.
:)
Well let me begin with this little success story.
Over the last year, many people have commented on how impressed they are with what I've done and how I've maintained the weight loss and yadda yadda yadda. Many also say they wish they had my motivation and that they plan to start taking better care of themselves... rarely is this followed up with any substance. One excepttion: This awkward, weird but very sweet man has come up to me five or six times asking me for advice, tips on how to eat, how to workout, etc. I genuinely wanted to help him, until I got the feeling I should just tell him to see a nutritionist, educate himself, and do it his own way. So I failed to answer him at all.
Recently, a friend crossed paths with him and noticed he'd lost a bunch of weight. When she asked about it, he claimed that I had motivated him and set off a light bulb about his need to take better care of himself. Eventually I congratulated him on doing something good for himself, and having chosen to do it in a very healthy way that isn't focused only on losing pounds.
The reason this struck me is because I had come to the conlcusion just weeks before that despite everyone's supposed "inspiration" drawn from me, no one can do this without finding their very own kick in the ass (motivation). So that is some great news.
This very same piece of news is what brings me back to you, fair readers, today. While I feel sufficiently in control of my weight and health these days, and don't particularly feel the need to blog, if there's any chance it might help anyone, it's worth it for me to do this. Why, you ask? Because I am becoming increasingly intolerant of people's need to starve, deprive and hate themselves over a few extra pounds (most people's case, but not all I know), and their unwillingness to use education and common sense to do something about it.
People repeatedly set themselves up for failure. So for anyone reading who intends to or is in the process of trying to get in shape, please look up the concept of SMART (or see one of my very first posts ever, on that topic).
In my opinion, the people who do these things are concerned with vanity, not health. People truly concerned about their health would not feed themselves none of this or none of that for weeks at a time, or workout until they burn out, if they didn't hate themselves deep-down.
If people could force themselves to say every day that having extra pounds does NOT define you, but your ACTIONS do, maybe they could try to make 1 healthier choice that day. Saying no to today's little treat or simply postponing it. Taking the stairs all day instead of the escalator. Making a lunch so you can eat at your desk and take your lunch to get fresh air, think a little and walk around. Read a few pages of a book instead of watching TV... and so on. Basically it's alllllllll about small choices. Small, everyday stupid little choices that compound and lead to a huge wave of change in your life.
So, stop being stupid and lazy. Start caring about yourself enough to do just what you are capable of doing for now. Don't push too hard. Be nice and dust yourself off each time you "fail". You will fail. But don't be defeated ever, until you are dead. When you're old and can't do 1/10th of the things you can do now, you will be happy you made those small choices.
Okay, stepping off my high horse to get back to my own daily battle to fight for my health. And if you try to say to me "I wish I could lose weight as easily as you", expect a solid punch in the face.
:)
Monday, November 7, 2011
we were on a break!
I am officially on hiatus from blogville. I am taking the rest of the fall off from working out, apart from walking and soccer, and taking some time to regroup now that volleyball is unlikely to happen at all (my world is crumbling lol).
I am maintaining a weight of about 138 (my lowest was 135 and 140 is my 'trigger weight' where I start doing more). I have been eating carefully and taking care of family and friend business, and now taking Portugese classes too :)
Lots going on, not much time or energy for me, compared to before, but I'll likely sign up to a gym in December and get started once again.
wishing you all good luck on your weight loss journeys as well.
I am maintaining a weight of about 138 (my lowest was 135 and 140 is my 'trigger weight' where I start doing more). I have been eating carefully and taking care of family and friend business, and now taking Portugese classes too :)
Lots going on, not much time or energy for me, compared to before, but I'll likely sign up to a gym in December and get started once again.
wishing you all good luck on your weight loss journeys as well.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Recovering
Hi people!
So here are the latest updates from my world.
After finally reaching 135 lbs, I did go back up to about a solid 138 (even 142 after Thanksgiving, but after water retention was eased, I would say 137-138 is my stable weight now). I intended to work my ass off hard this week, as well as very hard in preparation for Thanksgiving, but some fairly painful soccer injuries and overall fatigue prevented that. This week I started to get a cold/flu, so I have held back from doing anything more than walking around my apartment and sleeping/reading... I'd love to get back to it, but I need my body to recover.
In the meantime, I finished Ce que le jour doit a la nuit, and it was phenomenal. I am now reading The Kite Runner. I have cried through about half of the 250 pages I've read in the last two days. It is not as carefully written as my last read, but it is powerful no less.
Beach volleyball (indoors at least) seems to have fizzled out and may be closed for good. I am kind of down about that lately, but looking forward trying to figure out what else to do. That was the perfect sport for me, and I was so looking forward to starting 2x2, since I am getting very good at it. I would have eventually liked to compete in tournaments and such... for now, I am playing indoor soccer and my extremely muscular thighs are happy about that and becoming nicely defined. I always hated my big thighs, but thanks in part to a boyfriend who practically worships them, and to having a new appreciation for curvy and even chunky bodies (now that mine is quite lean!), I have begun to embrace my athletic build.
I am off for a quick escape from my dungeon of disease to eat some Lebanese healthy fast food with my boyfriend before he goes to class. Then it's back home for more rest and early sleep.
Did I mention I am starting Portugese classes in less than two weeks? I cannot wait. It will be a challenge, but since it is voluntary, I think I will be up for it, knowing that if I felt like giving up I could and it would take nothing away from my life. That mindset helped me commit to losing weight, eating well, exercising, staying focused on health, etc...
Got to run. Hope you are all staying on track. It' a lifelong ride we're on after all...
So here are the latest updates from my world.
After finally reaching 135 lbs, I did go back up to about a solid 138 (even 142 after Thanksgiving, but after water retention was eased, I would say 137-138 is my stable weight now). I intended to work my ass off hard this week, as well as very hard in preparation for Thanksgiving, but some fairly painful soccer injuries and overall fatigue prevented that. This week I started to get a cold/flu, so I have held back from doing anything more than walking around my apartment and sleeping/reading... I'd love to get back to it, but I need my body to recover.
In the meantime, I finished Ce que le jour doit a la nuit, and it was phenomenal. I am now reading The Kite Runner. I have cried through about half of the 250 pages I've read in the last two days. It is not as carefully written as my last read, but it is powerful no less.
Beach volleyball (indoors at least) seems to have fizzled out and may be closed for good. I am kind of down about that lately, but looking forward trying to figure out what else to do. That was the perfect sport for me, and I was so looking forward to starting 2x2, since I am getting very good at it. I would have eventually liked to compete in tournaments and such... for now, I am playing indoor soccer and my extremely muscular thighs are happy about that and becoming nicely defined. I always hated my big thighs, but thanks in part to a boyfriend who practically worships them, and to having a new appreciation for curvy and even chunky bodies (now that mine is quite lean!), I have begun to embrace my athletic build.
I am off for a quick escape from my dungeon of disease to eat some Lebanese healthy fast food with my boyfriend before he goes to class. Then it's back home for more rest and early sleep.
Did I mention I am starting Portugese classes in less than two weeks? I cannot wait. It will be a challenge, but since it is voluntary, I think I will be up for it, knowing that if I felt like giving up I could and it would take nothing away from my life. That mindset helped me commit to losing weight, eating well, exercising, staying focused on health, etc...
Got to run. Hope you are all staying on track. It' a lifelong ride we're on after all...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
oh the rain.
I don't hate rain. but as an outdoor sports and runnning girl, I am feeling pretty blue. I was on a roll with my exercise, and finally reached 135, and now, after days of doing barely any exercise because it's simply too cold and wet (I'd be fine with one or the other, but not both), I am back up on the scale. I've been careful enough food-wise, but every day I wake up and the weather is crap I get more and more frustrated.
The real problem is that I haven't been playing beach volleyball because the management keeps changing, and thus keeps changing the league information, prices, start dates, etc. It now looks like I'll only be playing 1 night a week, 2x2. Luckily, I MIGHT have a great partner, and fingers crossed they stick to the latest info they gave me.
So for the time being, I'm playing indoor soccer once a week, have been trying to run a couple times a week (not with this weather though), and have been subbing on court volleyball and/or playing drop-in beach for the last few weeks. I try to walk at lunch, but this weather (and having to buy my lunches this week) has taken that from me as well.
I am almost done my book, and it is amazing. I am sad that it's ending.
Oh, and I can't wait for my Thanksgiving weekend with my family this weekend. It's also my dad's 65th / retirement party on Saturday, weeeee! I'll probably get one game of squash in, with him, this weekend, but wont have time for much more. Weather permitting I will run. I will!!!!!!
The real problem is that I haven't been playing beach volleyball because the management keeps changing, and thus keeps changing the league information, prices, start dates, etc. It now looks like I'll only be playing 1 night a week, 2x2. Luckily, I MIGHT have a great partner, and fingers crossed they stick to the latest info they gave me.
So for the time being, I'm playing indoor soccer once a week, have been trying to run a couple times a week (not with this weather though), and have been subbing on court volleyball and/or playing drop-in beach for the last few weeks. I try to walk at lunch, but this weather (and having to buy my lunches this week) has taken that from me as well.
I am almost done my book, and it is amazing. I am sad that it's ending.
Oh, and I can't wait for my Thanksgiving weekend with my family this weekend. It's also my dad's 65th / retirement party on Saturday, weeeee! I'll probably get one game of squash in, with him, this weekend, but wont have time for much more. Weather permitting I will run. I will!!!!!!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I did it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (running around waving my arms in the air like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone... I was 135 this morning!!!!
It has only taken about 6 months of work, and the last two months of extra hard work to get here, and I need to barrel through until next weekend, when I go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
It has only taken about 6 months of work, and the last two months of extra hard work to get here, and I need to barrel through until next weekend, when I go to my parents' house for Thanksgiving.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Progress update
Hi guys!
I hope you're all doing well and still working toward your goals. If not, start again.
I just wanted to write a quickie to say that my non-blogging is NOT a sign that I have fallen off the fitness wagon. Quite the opposite. Since my real goal was overall health and well-being, one of my sub-goals was to read a bit more. Now, I have realized that squeezing reading in means pushing blogging out. I am only ever home in intervals of one hour or less, which means I have to use that time to eat, clean, shower, get dressed, etc. Because of my very busy fitness schedule, I haven't watched TV for more than an hour or so in months, and the 30 minutes of free time I have here and there is used to read some amazing book lately.
Right now it's Ce que le jour doit a la nuit, then it will be The Kite Runner.
As far as weight loss, I am STILL, yes STILL AFTER 6 MONTHS, trying to get below 136. However, in the last two weeks my weight gets to 136 quicker, and I think I'm about to break through, but I hesitate to get excited because Thanksgiving is coming up, along with a host of family functions. I will do my best to stay on track, but I think 135 may be slowly slipping out of my reach in the next month.
I am running, playing as much drop-in vball as I can until the management gets its shit together and the leagues resume, and indoor soccer, which is probably THE single most exerting sport next to squash in terms of cardio.
My life is great, eating is great, working out is great. Everything except the fact a 6-7 year old girl on a school bus greeted me with grimaces and the middle finger yesterday morning. It was a sign of a bad day ahead in hindsight, as I suspected. I hope today will be less unpleasant.
I hope you're all doing well and still working toward your goals. If not, start again.
I just wanted to write a quickie to say that my non-blogging is NOT a sign that I have fallen off the fitness wagon. Quite the opposite. Since my real goal was overall health and well-being, one of my sub-goals was to read a bit more. Now, I have realized that squeezing reading in means pushing blogging out. I am only ever home in intervals of one hour or less, which means I have to use that time to eat, clean, shower, get dressed, etc. Because of my very busy fitness schedule, I haven't watched TV for more than an hour or so in months, and the 30 minutes of free time I have here and there is used to read some amazing book lately.
Right now it's Ce que le jour doit a la nuit, then it will be The Kite Runner.
As far as weight loss, I am STILL, yes STILL AFTER 6 MONTHS, trying to get below 136. However, in the last two weeks my weight gets to 136 quicker, and I think I'm about to break through, but I hesitate to get excited because Thanksgiving is coming up, along with a host of family functions. I will do my best to stay on track, but I think 135 may be slowly slipping out of my reach in the next month.
I am running, playing as much drop-in vball as I can until the management gets its shit together and the leagues resume, and indoor soccer, which is probably THE single most exerting sport next to squash in terms of cardio.
My life is great, eating is great, working out is great. Everything except the fact a 6-7 year old girl on a school bus greeted me with grimaces and the middle finger yesterday morning. It was a sign of a bad day ahead in hindsight, as I suspected. I hope today will be less unpleasant.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Some "lean" reading and other updates
Hi ho readers!
Before I forget, as I invariably will, here is the ultimate point of this post:
I have NO IDEA how reliable this source is, but I found this article fascinating regardless, and it makes me want to look further into the issue.
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/muscle-gain/initial-body-fat-and-body-composition-changes.html
I found this as I started researching body composition changes and their effect on various things such as menstrual cycle, hormones, etc.
Why, you ask? Well because my severe PMS problems began emerging about 6 months ago. I can't figure out the reason, except that a friend of mine who suffers from PMDD mentioned that body fat has a lot to do with women's hormone levels, and about 6 months ago was precisely when my body very obviously started becoming more muscular and the fat started leaning out.
I lost the bulk of my fat (50 lbs) throughout 2010, and a little of it in late 2010-early 2011. But the most visible changes in my shape and muscularity(?) started when I dropped to my lowest weight and began muscle training. Finally my very large breasts caught up with the rest of my body and shrank, after not shrinking much throughout the bulk of my weight loss.
Now I am questioning whether my perceived hormonal changes are largely the result of my now very athletic body type. I believe I am about 22-24% body fat according to a BMI reader (which can be off by as much as 10%), and that is "perfect" for a woman in good health. By no means do I look extremely skinny, because I am very muscle-dense, especially in my bottom half. My arms/chest are very lean.
Anyway, now I feel I'm losing concentration (thanks to PMS) and rambling, so change of topic.
I am still frustratingly at 137-138. Mysteriously, while my weight had started dropping, it appears to have stopped just short of passing 136 again. FUUUUUUUUCKNUTS! Oh well. I keep on keepin-on because I'm quite pleased with my body these days thanks to all the hard work/play I am putting in to stay in shape, and eating almost all healthy meals at home.
Otherwise life is good except my mood swings, but after charting for 2 months, I am starting to see patterns emerge (though further charting will be needed to confirm that), namely that Day 21 of my cycle is the WORST by a long shot for emotional issues...and guess what today is... one guess. DAY 21! I nearly ripped off people's heads this morning, but swallowed my rage and have tried to focus on getting through the day with everyone else unscathed.
Before I forget, as I invariably will, here is the ultimate point of this post:
I have NO IDEA how reliable this source is, but I found this article fascinating regardless, and it makes me want to look further into the issue.
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/muscle-gain/initial-body-fat-and-body-composition-changes.html
I found this as I started researching body composition changes and their effect on various things such as menstrual cycle, hormones, etc.
Why, you ask? Well because my severe PMS problems began emerging about 6 months ago. I can't figure out the reason, except that a friend of mine who suffers from PMDD mentioned that body fat has a lot to do with women's hormone levels, and about 6 months ago was precisely when my body very obviously started becoming more muscular and the fat started leaning out.
I lost the bulk of my fat (50 lbs) throughout 2010, and a little of it in late 2010-early 2011. But the most visible changes in my shape and muscularity(?) started when I dropped to my lowest weight and began muscle training. Finally my very large breasts caught up with the rest of my body and shrank, after not shrinking much throughout the bulk of my weight loss.
Now I am questioning whether my perceived hormonal changes are largely the result of my now very athletic body type. I believe I am about 22-24% body fat according to a BMI reader (which can be off by as much as 10%), and that is "perfect" for a woman in good health. By no means do I look extremely skinny, because I am very muscle-dense, especially in my bottom half. My arms/chest are very lean.
Anyway, now I feel I'm losing concentration (thanks to PMS) and rambling, so change of topic.
I am still frustratingly at 137-138. Mysteriously, while my weight had started dropping, it appears to have stopped just short of passing 136 again. FUUUUUUUUCKNUTS! Oh well. I keep on keepin-on because I'm quite pleased with my body these days thanks to all the hard work/play I am putting in to stay in shape, and eating almost all healthy meals at home.
Otherwise life is good except my mood swings, but after charting for 2 months, I am starting to see patterns emerge (though further charting will be needed to confirm that), namely that Day 21 of my cycle is the WORST by a long shot for emotional issues...and guess what today is... one guess. DAY 21! I nearly ripped off people's heads this morning, but swallowed my rage and have tried to focus on getting through the day with everyone else unscathed.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
clearly we are on a break
Hi gentle readers... what's left of you.
I just wanted to check in to let you know not to fret, I am very much staying on track, just seem to be averse to writing these days.
Here's a brief summary of my life as it stands at the moment:
1. In between everything, I have been reading The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz. Almost done, then will start up Ce que le jour doit a la nuit. It's nice to be taking the time to read again (hence my lack of time for blogging).
2. I have been up and down between 140 and 136, but since I've been making home food more and more, it's easier for me to stay at 137-138. If I stop jumping back up every weekend, I might one day manage to break 135. I am hopeful yet.
3. I have been playing vball twice weekly, soccer once a week, running about 1-2 times a week weather permitting, and enjoying a healthy stream of romantic gymnastics with my boyfriend on the weekends. So exercise, as usual, is no problem.
4. I've been feeling amazingly this week as far as my body is concerned. Must be hormonal. Ha!
5. My boyfriend is doing this impossible fitness challenge, most of which would be quite impossible for me with my build (it's geared to upper-body strong men), but the final step is to do a 30-second stationary hand-stand. So I have challenged myself to learn to do that, since that's the one thing he can't do either, so we can practice together. I've become a little obsessed and (like him) am constantly thinking (oooh, loook at thaaat, I could do a handstand there).
6. My emotional state is being monitored/charted daily so I can figure out why I get depressed randomly but usually around PMS time, to see if it's PMDD or PME.
Okay, I'm off to volleyball. Wish me a smashing good time!
I just wanted to check in to let you know not to fret, I am very much staying on track, just seem to be averse to writing these days.
Here's a brief summary of my life as it stands at the moment:
1. In between everything, I have been reading The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz. Almost done, then will start up Ce que le jour doit a la nuit. It's nice to be taking the time to read again (hence my lack of time for blogging).
2. I have been up and down between 140 and 136, but since I've been making home food more and more, it's easier for me to stay at 137-138. If I stop jumping back up every weekend, I might one day manage to break 135. I am hopeful yet.
3. I have been playing vball twice weekly, soccer once a week, running about 1-2 times a week weather permitting, and enjoying a healthy stream of romantic gymnastics with my boyfriend on the weekends. So exercise, as usual, is no problem.
4. I've been feeling amazingly this week as far as my body is concerned. Must be hormonal. Ha!
5. My boyfriend is doing this impossible fitness challenge, most of which would be quite impossible for me with my build (it's geared to upper-body strong men), but the final step is to do a 30-second stationary hand-stand. So I have challenged myself to learn to do that, since that's the one thing he can't do either, so we can practice together. I've become a little obsessed and (like him) am constantly thinking (oooh, loook at thaaat, I could do a handstand there).
6. My emotional state is being monitored/charted daily so I can figure out why I get depressed randomly but usually around PMS time, to see if it's PMDD or PME.
Okay, I'm off to volleyball. Wish me a smashing good time!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
gurgle.
My tummy's been upset for the last day and I spent yesterday afternoon off sick from work to rest. I still haven't figured out if I am actually sick or this is post-weekend-indulgence indigestion and exhaustion... but I'm not taking any chances, so I am eating very bland food today.
This past weekend I got to see friends from Quebec City, from Toronto, my parents, my boyfriend... and last night, my close friend who just got back from a vacation in Lebanon.
Tonight, after soccer, I'll be going to a friend's house for a clothing swap (a bunch of people bringing all their unwanted clothes to a party for possible exchange...eee). I barely have any clothes left from my heavier days, but the nicer stuff will be brought, and I hope I will find some interesting stuff (I always love other people's clothes!!)
After getting down to 137 last week, then all the way up to 142 yesterday from weekend bloat, I am back to 138 after eating VERY lightly yesterday and hydrating. I am hoping to be very disciplined here until I leave for Toronto for the weekend, then in Toronto just make sure to be a little careful, so when I get back, I can begin really trying harder to get past 135. I was so close.
Okay, off to work. gurgle.
word of the day: borborygmus (I might be spelling it wrong, but look it up. I use it all the time now hahaha)
This past weekend I got to see friends from Quebec City, from Toronto, my parents, my boyfriend... and last night, my close friend who just got back from a vacation in Lebanon.
Tonight, after soccer, I'll be going to a friend's house for a clothing swap (a bunch of people bringing all their unwanted clothes to a party for possible exchange...eee). I barely have any clothes left from my heavier days, but the nicer stuff will be brought, and I hope I will find some interesting stuff (I always love other people's clothes!!)
After getting down to 137 last week, then all the way up to 142 yesterday from weekend bloat, I am back to 138 after eating VERY lightly yesterday and hydrating. I am hoping to be very disciplined here until I leave for Toronto for the weekend, then in Toronto just make sure to be a little careful, so when I get back, I can begin really trying harder to get past 135. I was so close.
Okay, off to work. gurgle.
word of the day: borborygmus (I might be spelling it wrong, but look it up. I use it all the time now hahaha)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
In response to Drazil's post about power over food...
Amen sister!
For those of you who are not Drazil (a follower of my blog with a hilarious blog of her own), her post today was about how we have very little control over our little universi, with the exception of our bodies.
In response to her blog, I wanted to make some notes about why I fully agree.
When it comes down to it, we take the hand we're dealt, and can make do with it as we wish, within our means. The problem is, most people accept average, and average tends to be lazy and unhealthy.
I decided to cope with depression and anger and all the resulting health problems (ones that are within my control, since I'm aware that some health problems seem to appear out of nowhere) by making my physical person as perfect as possible. By perfect, I do not mean visually, but in its ability to work FOR ME.
I generally feed myself foods that serve a purpose AND please my mouth, thus fulfilling energy requirements and mood-related needs. I do not deprive myself, but must exercise extremely challenging restraint at times because I indulge a lot.
People keep asking me what "my secret" is. This mindset makes me want to punch people. You know why? Because it is NOT EASY losing weight and becoming fit. It just isn't. It might be easy to lose the first 10-15 lbs, but that is precisely where most people stop, and usually gain back the weight and start over. It takes support, motivation, ass-kicking, whining, deprivation, anger, energy and some degree of intelligence to power through and lose all the weight, put on all the muscle or maintain one's figure.
How do I explain to someone the years of emotional damage that gave me the motivation to do this? I want to shake them and say it's now or never, it's your body, and it's your choice. You either do it today or you don't. Every day you don't is one less day to try. If you don't do it, stop feeling guilty about it and live it up. If you do, be prepared for a long, ongoing journey that will affect every aspect of your life.
In my case, I can clearly and without question say that the happy life I am leading right now is a direct result of me taking such good care of myself. I have more energy for the people around me. Oh and did I ever mention that the "ex-personal trainer" I've been referring to since day 1 in this blog now happens to be my boyfriend, and the man of my dreams?
I know this kind of perfect lifestyle pairing can't happen to everyone, but it goes to show that no matter how much I thought I didn't deserve "great", when I treated myself as great, everything wonderful fell in my lap. I am rejoicing in it while it lasts...I controlled something, and then everything else fell into place.
Try it. Try just controlling you from the bottom up. First with the way you treat your body and the words you say to yourself, then expand that outwardly and good things will happen.
wow. this post was weird. but I totally get what I mean. I just hope y'all do too heh!
For those of you who are not Drazil (a follower of my blog with a hilarious blog of her own), her post today was about how we have very little control over our little universi, with the exception of our bodies.
In response to her blog, I wanted to make some notes about why I fully agree.
When it comes down to it, we take the hand we're dealt, and can make do with it as we wish, within our means. The problem is, most people accept average, and average tends to be lazy and unhealthy.
I decided to cope with depression and anger and all the resulting health problems (ones that are within my control, since I'm aware that some health problems seem to appear out of nowhere) by making my physical person as perfect as possible. By perfect, I do not mean visually, but in its ability to work FOR ME.
I generally feed myself foods that serve a purpose AND please my mouth, thus fulfilling energy requirements and mood-related needs. I do not deprive myself, but must exercise extremely challenging restraint at times because I indulge a lot.
People keep asking me what "my secret" is. This mindset makes me want to punch people. You know why? Because it is NOT EASY losing weight and becoming fit. It just isn't. It might be easy to lose the first 10-15 lbs, but that is precisely where most people stop, and usually gain back the weight and start over. It takes support, motivation, ass-kicking, whining, deprivation, anger, energy and some degree of intelligence to power through and lose all the weight, put on all the muscle or maintain one's figure.
How do I explain to someone the years of emotional damage that gave me the motivation to do this? I want to shake them and say it's now or never, it's your body, and it's your choice. You either do it today or you don't. Every day you don't is one less day to try. If you don't do it, stop feeling guilty about it and live it up. If you do, be prepared for a long, ongoing journey that will affect every aspect of your life.
In my case, I can clearly and without question say that the happy life I am leading right now is a direct result of me taking such good care of myself. I have more energy for the people around me. Oh and did I ever mention that the "ex-personal trainer" I've been referring to since day 1 in this blog now happens to be my boyfriend, and the man of my dreams?
I know this kind of perfect lifestyle pairing can't happen to everyone, but it goes to show that no matter how much I thought I didn't deserve "great", when I treated myself as great, everything wonderful fell in my lap. I am rejoicing in it while it lasts...I controlled something, and then everything else fell into place.
Try it. Try just controlling you from the bottom up. First with the way you treat your body and the words you say to yourself, then expand that outwardly and good things will happen.
wow. this post was weird. but I totally get what I mean. I just hope y'all do too heh!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Pound down!
137.2 this morning and thrilled. Eating homemade food makes a big difference, and I feel like I'm even eating more.
Yesterday I pigged out on a bunch of Kit Kat bars someone brought back from Japan, in all kinds of interesting flavours. I didn't have a heavy dinner, but after my soccer game (I played the entire game, no subs) I also downed half a carton of 1% chocolate milk... the only time I enjoy milk.
The weather is amazing today, and I think I'll go for a long run tonight before heading over to meet my parents at my aunt's house. They're in town to help out with some family stuff. Did I mention I went for a run last uhhhh Friday or Saturday, and it had been a long time, but I EASILY ran for about an hour, and felt like I could have kept running for 20 more minutes easily if I hadn't had things to do? I did. It felt amazing. Goes to show that's it's good to take a break sometimes.
Alright, I am off to treat myself to a big cafe mocha at my local cafe and then go to work. I made myself a nice "salad" of tuna, garden cherry tomatoes and cucumbers, sundried tomatoes, a pinch of sea salt and pepper, lemon, oil from the sundried tomatoes, and a teaspoon of mayo and mustard. I am bringing crackers and an apple to accompany that. Breakfast was a banana/PB/almond milk/Greek yog and spinach smoothie, with Kashi High Fibre cereal in it. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Who ever said healthy eating couldn't be fun!
Okay, good day all!
Yesterday I pigged out on a bunch of Kit Kat bars someone brought back from Japan, in all kinds of interesting flavours. I didn't have a heavy dinner, but after my soccer game (I played the entire game, no subs) I also downed half a carton of 1% chocolate milk... the only time I enjoy milk.
The weather is amazing today, and I think I'll go for a long run tonight before heading over to meet my parents at my aunt's house. They're in town to help out with some family stuff. Did I mention I went for a run last uhhhh Friday or Saturday, and it had been a long time, but I EASILY ran for about an hour, and felt like I could have kept running for 20 more minutes easily if I hadn't had things to do? I did. It felt amazing. Goes to show that's it's good to take a break sometimes.
Alright, I am off to treat myself to a big cafe mocha at my local cafe and then go to work. I made myself a nice "salad" of tuna, garden cherry tomatoes and cucumbers, sundried tomatoes, a pinch of sea salt and pepper, lemon, oil from the sundried tomatoes, and a teaspoon of mayo and mustard. I am bringing crackers and an apple to accompany that. Breakfast was a banana/PB/almond milk/Greek yog and spinach smoothie, with Kashi High Fibre cereal in it. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Who ever said healthy eating couldn't be fun!
Okay, good day all!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
everything looks better in the light of day
Well I am feeling better this morning. Yesterday, as the day went on I was feeling increasingly tired (having been woken up all weekend by neighbourhood antics at 3-4am). I napped, then volleyball was cancelled so I vegged out and went to bed early. Now I am feeling less anxious and down.
We had hailstorms yesterday, and this morning it is raining again, so I hope it ends before tonight's soccer game. I was doing so well exercise-wise. Mind you, I could have gone for a run in between storms yesterday (and thought about it briefly), but I gave myself a break. I can't do the same tonight, not in the mindframe I'm in lately, or it's a slippery slope.
This morning I am enjoying a smoothie that includes the following: no fat Greek yog (organic/probiotic since there was no regular left), a banana, pomegranate juice, a dash of boathouse mixed berry juice, spinach and a scoop of Vega Whole Food Optimmizer berry flavour. A half scoop equates to a snack replacement, since two scoops is a full meal.
I also made a beautiful ham sandwich for lunch. I say beautiful because instead of the standard ham, aged cheddar, semi-dry bread and mayo and traditional Dijon, I added spinach, a tomato out of my bf's parents' garden and salt and pepper.
Lately I've been eating way more dairy in the form of cheese, chocolate milk (post sports), some milk and yogurt. I've been breaking out, so now I am trying to cut it back to just yogurt and cheese and no milk unless it's a small amount and not daily. I've had issues with milk in the past, but I am self-diagnosing, so I'm in a process of trial and error. My main reason for the increase was to boost my calcium because apparently that helps with PMS symptoms.
Okay, I have to leave for work now, sorry for cutting this short. In sum, I think I'll have to take Calcium supplements instead.
We had hailstorms yesterday, and this morning it is raining again, so I hope it ends before tonight's soccer game. I was doing so well exercise-wise. Mind you, I could have gone for a run in between storms yesterday (and thought about it briefly), but I gave myself a break. I can't do the same tonight, not in the mindframe I'm in lately, or it's a slippery slope.
This morning I am enjoying a smoothie that includes the following: no fat Greek yog (organic/probiotic since there was no regular left), a banana, pomegranate juice, a dash of boathouse mixed berry juice, spinach and a scoop of Vega Whole Food Optimmizer berry flavour. A half scoop equates to a snack replacement, since two scoops is a full meal.
I also made a beautiful ham sandwich for lunch. I say beautiful because instead of the standard ham, aged cheddar, semi-dry bread and mayo and traditional Dijon, I added spinach, a tomato out of my bf's parents' garden and salt and pepper.
Lately I've been eating way more dairy in the form of cheese, chocolate milk (post sports), some milk and yogurt. I've been breaking out, so now I am trying to cut it back to just yogurt and cheese and no milk unless it's a small amount and not daily. I've had issues with milk in the past, but I am self-diagnosing, so I'm in a process of trial and error. My main reason for the increase was to boost my calcium because apparently that helps with PMS symptoms.
Okay, I have to leave for work now, sorry for cutting this short. In sum, I think I'll have to take Calcium supplements instead.
Monday, August 1, 2011
hmmft!
So many things, oh so many things to say, and no desire to spend the time saying them.
Here is a summary, just so I don't fall completely off the face of the planet:
1. Weight: Successfully got back to 137 and will work hard to surpass that this week. Have been making positively sure to get in some exercise every day, mildly, and more intense actual workouts 6 days a week. I'm walking at lunch and doing all the other stuff I do basically.
2. Food: Progressively eating more homemade meals.
3. Mood: Coping with some fairly difficult feelings right now and always trying to find a reason and a solution. For now I am journaling my physical and emotional changes throughout the month, and trying to keep communication lines open and honest with those around me. I don't know what's going on in my mind, but it sucks being in it these days.
4. Lots of revelations this week, and more nights being awakened by crime on my street at precisely 3 am. I won't even explain what I saw last week, but it was mildly traumatic to see, and since then I have been on edge around sleepy time. I am actually starting to consider moving again...ugggh. I would want to stay in the same hood, but definitely further away from the bars.
I feel like all kinds of things are happening around me as I stand still. It's mostly good, some bad, and some just plain odd. Meanwhile I am here in the eye of a storm that isn't touching me, trying to figure out why I feel so sad when everything is perfect.
oh well. I guess that is my lot in life. they've always said you can't have it all.
Here is a summary, just so I don't fall completely off the face of the planet:
1. Weight: Successfully got back to 137 and will work hard to surpass that this week. Have been making positively sure to get in some exercise every day, mildly, and more intense actual workouts 6 days a week. I'm walking at lunch and doing all the other stuff I do basically.
2. Food: Progressively eating more homemade meals.
3. Mood: Coping with some fairly difficult feelings right now and always trying to find a reason and a solution. For now I am journaling my physical and emotional changes throughout the month, and trying to keep communication lines open and honest with those around me. I don't know what's going on in my mind, but it sucks being in it these days.
4. Lots of revelations this week, and more nights being awakened by crime on my street at precisely 3 am. I won't even explain what I saw last week, but it was mildly traumatic to see, and since then I have been on edge around sleepy time. I am actually starting to consider moving again...ugggh. I would want to stay in the same hood, but definitely further away from the bars.
I feel like all kinds of things are happening around me as I stand still. It's mostly good, some bad, and some just plain odd. Meanwhile I am here in the eye of a storm that isn't touching me, trying to figure out why I feel so sad when everything is perfect.
oh well. I guess that is my lot in life. they've always said you can't have it all.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
a bike ride and a cool breeze
Bon! C'est fait! I had my vintage-feel-but-not-actually-vintage-super-awesome bike tuned up and took it for a long spin yesterday... gee whi that's neat!
I rode all the way across town to see some friends, and then back home, and it felt amazing.
The unfortunate thing is always the one or two drivers who don't see you coming, but I ride really slowly and almost always follow the rules, unlike many cyclists here who seemingly have a death wish. I was a little nervous riding through main streets (I haven't used my bike downtown on a weekday in years), since I mainly use my bike for leisurely excursions along the waterline in summertime.
I'd like to start riding more to get from A to B, but I'm too scared to lock it up on the street it's so pretty. Bikes are a hot commodity in most cities, so I don't take many risks.
In good news, I've been 138.2 for two days, and I know that with about 10% more discipline I am probably actually 136-137 lbs (having many beverages late at night will shift the numbers hahah, I know... nitpicking...but a girl's gotta try right?).
So I am continuing to push push push. Wish me luck EVER getting past 135 please, I need all the help I can get!
I rode all the way across town to see some friends, and then back home, and it felt amazing.
The unfortunate thing is always the one or two drivers who don't see you coming, but I ride really slowly and almost always follow the rules, unlike many cyclists here who seemingly have a death wish. I was a little nervous riding through main streets (I haven't used my bike downtown on a weekday in years), since I mainly use my bike for leisurely excursions along the waterline in summertime.
I'd like to start riding more to get from A to B, but I'm too scared to lock it up on the street it's so pretty. Bikes are a hot commodity in most cities, so I don't take many risks.
In good news, I've been 138.2 for two days, and I know that with about 10% more discipline I am probably actually 136-137 lbs (having many beverages late at night will shift the numbers hahah, I know... nitpicking...but a girl's gotta try right?).
So I am continuing to push push push. Wish me luck EVER getting past 135 please, I need all the help I can get!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
updates
Hi guys,
Excuse my habitual absence. This time I can say that it has not meant I haven't been pushing myself hard. First of all, here is my workout routine lately:
Mon-Thurs: Beach volleyball
Tuesday: Started playing soccer last week
Wednesday/Saturday/Sunday: usually some bootcamp once a week, and running on the other days weather permitting, or trying out something new like Aussie football
Friday: my day off :)
There are other forms of physical activity that would not be proper to mention, but let's say my weekends are intense physically ;)
Food-wise, I've pushed myself just a little to try to bring in lunches a few times a week, and eat at least two homemade meals per day. For my takeout meals, I choose hearty salads, meal replacement shakes, or otherwise balanced meals that include carbs, protein and veggies.
I am at 139 still, but I am looking a lot more muscular these days. For now, I am very pleased. I would love to be a little leaner to see more muscle, but there is the issue of having a bit of extra skin from the weight loss. So I'm not sure I can lose much more weight without having flab, despite my very-fitness.
Anyway, mentally I am feeling good. I've had some random ups and downs and I am keeping a close eye on my emotional health these days. But being rested helps me a lot. I've been waking up earlier, more easily lately, and have been feeling generally more energetic. The exception was in the past few weeks when the noise from my street was keeping me up every night.
Alright. I'm going to finish my fruit smoothie (blueberries, blackberries, greek yogurt, walnuts, mango juice, water and Vega Whole Food Optimizer-half scoop-) and homemade espresso from grains bought at my local cafe. So goooooooood.
have a wonderful day!
Excuse my habitual absence. This time I can say that it has not meant I haven't been pushing myself hard. First of all, here is my workout routine lately:
Mon-Thurs: Beach volleyball
Tuesday: Started playing soccer last week
Wednesday/Saturday/Sunday: usually some bootcamp once a week, and running on the other days weather permitting, or trying out something new like Aussie football
Friday: my day off :)
There are other forms of physical activity that would not be proper to mention, but let's say my weekends are intense physically ;)
Food-wise, I've pushed myself just a little to try to bring in lunches a few times a week, and eat at least two homemade meals per day. For my takeout meals, I choose hearty salads, meal replacement shakes, or otherwise balanced meals that include carbs, protein and veggies.
I am at 139 still, but I am looking a lot more muscular these days. For now, I am very pleased. I would love to be a little leaner to see more muscle, but there is the issue of having a bit of extra skin from the weight loss. So I'm not sure I can lose much more weight without having flab, despite my very-fitness.
Anyway, mentally I am feeling good. I've had some random ups and downs and I am keeping a close eye on my emotional health these days. But being rested helps me a lot. I've been waking up earlier, more easily lately, and have been feeling generally more energetic. The exception was in the past few weeks when the noise from my street was keeping me up every night.
Alright. I'm going to finish my fruit smoothie (blueberries, blackberries, greek yogurt, walnuts, mango juice, water and Vega Whole Food Optimizer-half scoop-) and homemade espresso from grains bought at my local cafe. So goooooooood.
have a wonderful day!
Monday, July 18, 2011
the ups and downs
oh the ups and downs. I am kind of getting tired up being so up and then so down. I often wish I was someone who doesn't reflect on, question, over-analyze (read obsess) everything. Life could be so grand, so simple, and I could just enjoy all that I have. I have a lot of blessings. A lot of luck. Yet my silly brain makes everything hurt so much, even the little things.
I admire those who are tougher. I know this sensitivity of mine also has many upsides, but it is sometimes just too much to bear over so little.
This is not meant to be a depressing blog, more contemplative, but I just had to say it out loud that no matter how good I feel sometimes, or how good I look, I can't shake my insecurities, anxieties and obsessive thoughts about my inadequacies. It's completely illogical because my career, my friends, my family should be enough evidence that I am not deficient, and NO ONE is deficient. We are who we are. Unfortunately, applying that reasoning when I am in pain over the thought of losing everything is a challenge at best.
On a lighter note, I am still playing volleyball, running (less lately to give my hip and knees a break), and trying new things. Tomorrow, I am starting to play soccer again for the first time in many, many years. I played for 11-12 years, and I miss it oh so much. I am playing in a recreational league with a good friend of mine, since his team needed more girls. Since the season's already begun, the league will let me play for free too, yippeeeeee!
Food-wise, I'm about one-third of the way to where I want to be: I am eating all breakfasts at home and EITHER lunch or dinner at home every day, but I am still buying out one meal a day. It's mostly healthy, but still...
This may sound super cold (trust me it's not, but I'm tired and just thought of mentioning this bu want to wrap up and hit the sack)... my aunt was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer and is suffering a lot right now. So are my sick grandmother and aunt who live with her. In all this, it is pushing me more than ever to treat my body "as a temple" as they say, and to really enjoy my life. Out of every bad, there should come some good, you just have to figure out the point of it all.
So here's wishing you all seize the day!
I admire those who are tougher. I know this sensitivity of mine also has many upsides, but it is sometimes just too much to bear over so little.
This is not meant to be a depressing blog, more contemplative, but I just had to say it out loud that no matter how good I feel sometimes, or how good I look, I can't shake my insecurities, anxieties and obsessive thoughts about my inadequacies. It's completely illogical because my career, my friends, my family should be enough evidence that I am not deficient, and NO ONE is deficient. We are who we are. Unfortunately, applying that reasoning when I am in pain over the thought of losing everything is a challenge at best.
On a lighter note, I am still playing volleyball, running (less lately to give my hip and knees a break), and trying new things. Tomorrow, I am starting to play soccer again for the first time in many, many years. I played for 11-12 years, and I miss it oh so much. I am playing in a recreational league with a good friend of mine, since his team needed more girls. Since the season's already begun, the league will let me play for free too, yippeeeeee!
Food-wise, I'm about one-third of the way to where I want to be: I am eating all breakfasts at home and EITHER lunch or dinner at home every day, but I am still buying out one meal a day. It's mostly healthy, but still...
This may sound super cold (trust me it's not, but I'm tired and just thought of mentioning this bu want to wrap up and hit the sack)... my aunt was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer and is suffering a lot right now. So are my sick grandmother and aunt who live with her. In all this, it is pushing me more than ever to treat my body "as a temple" as they say, and to really enjoy my life. Out of every bad, there should come some good, you just have to figure out the point of it all.
So here's wishing you all seize the day!
Friday, July 15, 2011
satisfaction
Hi munchkins.
Sitting here, enjoying a "meal replacement" smoothie which isn't really replacing much because I still put in Greek yog, spinach and plenty of fruit on top of the Vega Whole Food Optimizer (berry). I am testing out this product as well as the Vega Sport Performance Optimizer to see what it all does. I've never been one to replace real food with powders and gunk like this, but I am trying something different.
My weight loss seems to have stalled permanently around 139-140 (we'll see when aunt flo leaves) but with all the extra working out and careful eating, my body is getting very toned. My boyfriend said my back is very toned, and I have noticed my arms and thighs and abs are looking different. I am going to keep this up for a few more weeks and then take a few days off. I've worked out every single day this week, so I will need to decide on a day off sometime soon haha. Monday-Thursday were beach vball plus walking, Tuesday a 50-minute run, Wednesday was Aussie Football (something I had never seen played before and was trying out) and tonight I may go to a gym.
Speaking of Aussie Football, I went to the practice of a local team. Since the sport requires many, many players, they leave their practices open to anyone since it's not a very big sport here. Almost everyone playing was Australian, and everyone was friendly and helpful. I did have a pretty awesome kick to begin with, and my handpass isn't bad, but there's a lot to thinnk about at the same time, and so it may take a long time for me to learn the intricacies of the game.
One piece of great news is that I am finally starting to really make a dent in my debt load accumulated over the last 4 years of bad decision making, and with each slice I knock off, I feel a load off my shoulders. I am starting to be able to breathe again... yes.
Sitting here, enjoying a "meal replacement" smoothie which isn't really replacing much because I still put in Greek yog, spinach and plenty of fruit on top of the Vega Whole Food Optimizer (berry). I am testing out this product as well as the Vega Sport Performance Optimizer to see what it all does. I've never been one to replace real food with powders and gunk like this, but I am trying something different.
My weight loss seems to have stalled permanently around 139-140 (we'll see when aunt flo leaves) but with all the extra working out and careful eating, my body is getting very toned. My boyfriend said my back is very toned, and I have noticed my arms and thighs and abs are looking different. I am going to keep this up for a few more weeks and then take a few days off. I've worked out every single day this week, so I will need to decide on a day off sometime soon haha. Monday-Thursday were beach vball plus walking, Tuesday a 50-minute run, Wednesday was Aussie Football (something I had never seen played before and was trying out) and tonight I may go to a gym.
Speaking of Aussie Football, I went to the practice of a local team. Since the sport requires many, many players, they leave their practices open to anyone since it's not a very big sport here. Almost everyone playing was Australian, and everyone was friendly and helpful. I did have a pretty awesome kick to begin with, and my handpass isn't bad, but there's a lot to thinnk about at the same time, and so it may take a long time for me to learn the intricacies of the game.
One piece of great news is that I am finally starting to really make a dent in my debt load accumulated over the last 4 years of bad decision making, and with each slice I knock off, I feel a load off my shoulders. I am starting to be able to breathe again... yes.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
some new things
This week has been a bit hellish in its own very special way, but all's well that ends well I say, ad nauseam(sp.?)
I went through some major, major PMS issues, had some family health scares, arguments with the ex, and other odds and ends that were nothing short of frustrating to deal with. On the flip side though, I had two nights of good sleep and hope to get another tonight now that the weather's cooled off. I've been amazing when it comes to exercise, and pretty much amazing when it comes to eating, EXCEPT that I've managed to keep my weight down AND enjoy ice cream almost every day for the last two weeks. I have redeveloped an addiction, but this time it is much more contained, controlled and responsible. I feel no guilt. None. Now that, my friends, is progress.
I'm now charting every feeling or symptom of whatever that I have, for the next three months, to see if I do indeed suffer from PMDD, or if it's really just PMS aggravating a pre-existing condition. Only time, and careful note-taking, will tell.
So tonight I decided to bite the bullet and give Aussie football a try. I've been invited several times on this site I am a huge advocate of called trainingmobs.com. Have been since it began last year. Anyway, I keep turning down the invitations because Wednesday night is rarely good for me, but I decided tonight was the night. Turns out, it was quite fun to learn, and I am not bad at all! It calls on similar skills to those used in basketball, soccer, volleyball and football (I am good at volleyball and soccer, terrible at the other two, but the KEY skills are those that come from my sports of choice). Most of the players were extremely friendly and helpful Aussies who've recently moved here and needed this little piece of home.
I am off to bed shortly. Am slightly bloated, but eating well and keeping my weight down. Still need to try harder on the food end though to manage to lose any more pounds, but for now my body's getting firmer again and I am very much liking the results.
Power to you!
I went through some major, major PMS issues, had some family health scares, arguments with the ex, and other odds and ends that were nothing short of frustrating to deal with. On the flip side though, I had two nights of good sleep and hope to get another tonight now that the weather's cooled off. I've been amazing when it comes to exercise, and pretty much amazing when it comes to eating, EXCEPT that I've managed to keep my weight down AND enjoy ice cream almost every day for the last two weeks. I have redeveloped an addiction, but this time it is much more contained, controlled and responsible. I feel no guilt. None. Now that, my friends, is progress.
I'm now charting every feeling or symptom of whatever that I have, for the next three months, to see if I do indeed suffer from PMDD, or if it's really just PMS aggravating a pre-existing condition. Only time, and careful note-taking, will tell.
So tonight I decided to bite the bullet and give Aussie football a try. I've been invited several times on this site I am a huge advocate of called trainingmobs.com. Have been since it began last year. Anyway, I keep turning down the invitations because Wednesday night is rarely good for me, but I decided tonight was the night. Turns out, it was quite fun to learn, and I am not bad at all! It calls on similar skills to those used in basketball, soccer, volleyball and football (I am good at volleyball and soccer, terrible at the other two, but the KEY skills are those that come from my sports of choice). Most of the players were extremely friendly and helpful Aussies who've recently moved here and needed this little piece of home.
I am off to bed shortly. Am slightly bloated, but eating well and keeping my weight down. Still need to try harder on the food end though to manage to lose any more pounds, but for now my body's getting firmer again and I am very much liking the results.
Power to you!
sorry kiddies
I'm sorry I haven't been writing more. I've been keeping my weight down, eating fairly well and even starting to cook a little again. Also working out like mad. Unfortunately I have some stuff going on and I've been exceptionally tired. Just wanted to check in and let you know I am still pushing forward. I'm actually quite proud that I've managed to keep up with the exercise while I was so down and unmotivated.
Alright, gotta jet to work early, have a wonderful day!
Alright, gotta jet to work early, have a wonderful day!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
pardon the interruption...
It is 3 am. I am awake. I am angry at being awake. I am angry because I am depressed and haven't slept properly all week and I am finally able to sleep well and I get woken up by some asshole punching through the windows of the car parked outside my apartment, trying to break in. The moron thinks noone will see him when it's the loudest noise he just made, and his hand was bleeding. I yelled at him saying "I sure hope that's your own car" and he took off. Now I cannot sleep.
The Laws of the Hood.
I live in a neighbourhood that's up and coming, meaning it's still pretty dodgy at times. During the daytime, the atmosphere is totally different and it is amazing. At nighttime however, you wont catch me going for a stroll. Since I have moved here I have noticed a pattern: I get woken up at least once a week by someone screaming, vomiting, blasting music, fighting, breaking into cars, smashing a window, etc... ALWAYS AT THREE-IN-THE-EFFING-AYYY-EMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS. always.
I cannot express how relieved I am that I returned my leased car yesterday given this morning's events. I also cannot express my frustration at this wannabe car thief and all the trashy punks that feel the need to be loud at all hours... no I rephrase...at THIS (3AM) hour of the morning specifically, cutting into my best sleep.
PARDON MY FRENCH BUT FFFAAAAAAAAHHHHHCK.
Okay, I suppose I should go back to sleep. It's hard sometimes to fall back asleep after these crazy things happen.
The Laws of the Hood.
I live in a neighbourhood that's up and coming, meaning it's still pretty dodgy at times. During the daytime, the atmosphere is totally different and it is amazing. At nighttime however, you wont catch me going for a stroll. Since I have moved here I have noticed a pattern: I get woken up at least once a week by someone screaming, vomiting, blasting music, fighting, breaking into cars, smashing a window, etc... ALWAYS AT THREE-IN-THE-EFFING-AYYY-EMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS. always.
I cannot express how relieved I am that I returned my leased car yesterday given this morning's events. I also cannot express my frustration at this wannabe car thief and all the trashy punks that feel the need to be loud at all hours... no I rephrase...at THIS (3AM) hour of the morning specifically, cutting into my best sleep.
PARDON MY FRENCH BUT FFFAAAAAAAAHHHHHCK.
Okay, I suppose I should go back to sleep. It's hard sometimes to fall back asleep after these crazy things happen.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
in case you're wondering what's got me down...
Bear in mind, I am self-diagnosing after about 5 months of self-observation (without journal), but I am about 98% sure this is what's wrong with me. I have no physical symptoms except in the very hours right before it begins, but ALL the mood-related symptoms for the 5-11 days pre-period, which cease almost immediately after my period starts. It's a fantastic feeling (note sarcasm).
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004461/
blah.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004461/
blah.
:(
feeling blue for a few reasons. don't feel like writing much.
Don't worry, I am keeping up with all my crazy exercising, socializing and work, and still being very careful about food even though I'm not making home meals.
courage to all of you.
:)
Don't worry, I am keeping up with all my crazy exercising, socializing and work, and still being very careful about food even though I'm not making home meals.
courage to all of you.
:)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Still kicking ass...
I did go up weight-wise as usual over the weekend, but not drastically, and I have it under control.
This weekend was a continuation of both relaxation (to avoid another burnout, since things are extremely busy again) and working out. I took Sunday off, and spent the afternoon by the lakeside taking in the waves and rays with my man, after brunching, followed by an ice cream lunch and a family dinner at his parents' place... the one weak moment: at 8 pm his mom brought home a bag of steaming-fresh Montreal bagels, and I held out right until I saw Noodle bite into one, and I could see how fluffy and wonderful the bread looked. I am not a big bagel lover (I like them a lot, just can't compare myself to bagel-obsessed locals) but I cannot resist ANY form of doughy goodness.
In any case, this morning I had a yogurt, cereal and fruit breakfast, a salad at lunch that had chicken, strawberries/oranges/blueberries/pecans/pineapple, etc. (bought) with balsamic dressing and a green Arthur's smoothie. Dinner was (as unhealthy as this may sound), a slice of pizza. It was bought fresh from a fancy Italian place at the local fresh market and I got it to add more veggies to my meal. It had only minimal cheese. I added some chili spice and fancy balsamic. I also sided that with a salad made with fresh lettuce from Noodle's folks' garden, half an avocado, some almonds, capers, grated parmesan, fancy balsamic, olive oil, squeezed lemon juice, fleur de sel and ground pepper. yumsy.
So I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I did a kickass bootcamp on Saturday, and will try to go back again soon. Good times. Most of all the trainer fosters a real sense of "teamwork" which is rare with a lot of fitness-obsessed people unfortunately.
Tomorrow I will try to take a run, and tonight I played beach volleyball for about 2 hours or more. It was a great set.
Oh, remind me to tell you about how I am being a guinea pig and tested out this sport performance optimizer tonight as a one-time deal, and this meal replacement powder by Vega that I tried all last week in smoothies. I don't want to promote replacing meals with ground up vegetables, but I wanted to test it out for a few personal reasons. I'll post about it later in the week maybe. Until then, have a great sleep!
This weekend was a continuation of both relaxation (to avoid another burnout, since things are extremely busy again) and working out. I took Sunday off, and spent the afternoon by the lakeside taking in the waves and rays with my man, after brunching, followed by an ice cream lunch and a family dinner at his parents' place... the one weak moment: at 8 pm his mom brought home a bag of steaming-fresh Montreal bagels, and I held out right until I saw Noodle bite into one, and I could see how fluffy and wonderful the bread looked. I am not a big bagel lover (I like them a lot, just can't compare myself to bagel-obsessed locals) but I cannot resist ANY form of doughy goodness.
In any case, this morning I had a yogurt, cereal and fruit breakfast, a salad at lunch that had chicken, strawberries/oranges/blueberries/pecans/pineapple, etc. (bought) with balsamic dressing and a green Arthur's smoothie. Dinner was (as unhealthy as this may sound), a slice of pizza. It was bought fresh from a fancy Italian place at the local fresh market and I got it to add more veggies to my meal. It had only minimal cheese. I added some chili spice and fancy balsamic. I also sided that with a salad made with fresh lettuce from Noodle's folks' garden, half an avocado, some almonds, capers, grated parmesan, fancy balsamic, olive oil, squeezed lemon juice, fleur de sel and ground pepper. yumsy.
So I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I did a kickass bootcamp on Saturday, and will try to go back again soon. Good times. Most of all the trainer fosters a real sense of "teamwork" which is rare with a lot of fitness-obsessed people unfortunately.
Tomorrow I will try to take a run, and tonight I played beach volleyball for about 2 hours or more. It was a great set.
Oh, remind me to tell you about how I am being a guinea pig and tested out this sport performance optimizer tonight as a one-time deal, and this meal replacement powder by Vega that I tried all last week in smoothies. I don't want to promote replacing meals with ground up vegetables, but I wanted to test it out for a few personal reasons. I'll post about it later in the week maybe. Until then, have a great sleep!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Bootcamp in the park
Gentle readers, the first week of getting back in gear is over. It was a success.
This morning, in 29 degree Celsius weather, I did the toughest bootcamp I've ever done. I had to run with sandbags around my neck and use ropes and all that hardcore crap :) Normally, most bootcamps are not as scary as people imagine them to be, and consist mostly of light jogging and calisthenics. But this one, while very doable for most people, did push all of our limits.
I also played 2 hours of 2x2 beach volleyball yesterday, which is quite a workout itself!
I think tomorrow I will need a break. It's supposed to rain anyway I believe.
Food is on track. I'm making do with barely any food at home, but I'll probably do a week's worth of shopping tomorrow. I think I will need to start scheduling in grocery shopping so it becomes a mandatory weekly routine. Otherwise, I put it off for weeks every time I run out.
Okay, I'm off to help a friend learn to ride a bike... which should be highly entertaining.
Have a great day all of you!
This morning, in 29 degree Celsius weather, I did the toughest bootcamp I've ever done. I had to run with sandbags around my neck and use ropes and all that hardcore crap :) Normally, most bootcamps are not as scary as people imagine them to be, and consist mostly of light jogging and calisthenics. But this one, while very doable for most people, did push all of our limits.
I also played 2 hours of 2x2 beach volleyball yesterday, which is quite a workout itself!
I think tomorrow I will need a break. It's supposed to rain anyway I believe.
Food is on track. I'm making do with barely any food at home, but I'll probably do a week's worth of shopping tomorrow. I think I will need to start scheduling in grocery shopping so it becomes a mandatory weekly routine. Otherwise, I put it off for weeks every time I run out.
Okay, I'm off to help a friend learn to ride a bike... which should be highly entertaining.
Have a great day all of you!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Did it, for this week anyway.
I was 138.8 yesterday! And I did NOT starve myself or take desperate measures to get there. I DID work my ass off exercise-wise, but I haven't even bought groceries yet. I need to be very careful this weekend though.
My strategy is this: eat suuuper light in the mornings, because today there's a BBQ, then eat light for dinner. Tomorrow, I have to buy food and eat home meals and perhaps at a resto for dinner, but choose wisely. Then Sunday, another super light breakfast and no lunch, since there will be a big BBQ again for someone's homecoming.
I am going to play more volleyball at noon today, which is fantastic because yesterday was a flop. We played 1.5 games (and barely got into it) because of poor organization on the league's part. But all of us left early since our second challenger defaulted, knowing that we'd be back the following day for a free day of beach volleyball and BBQ.
Alright, so I am a happy camper. Off to continue cleaning and getting stuff done around this pigsty.
have a great day!
My strategy is this: eat suuuper light in the mornings, because today there's a BBQ, then eat light for dinner. Tomorrow, I have to buy food and eat home meals and perhaps at a resto for dinner, but choose wisely. Then Sunday, another super light breakfast and no lunch, since there will be a big BBQ again for someone's homecoming.
I am going to play more volleyball at noon today, which is fantastic because yesterday was a flop. We played 1.5 games (and barely got into it) because of poor organization on the league's part. But all of us left early since our second challenger defaulted, knowing that we'd be back the following day for a free day of beach volleyball and BBQ.
Alright, so I am a happy camper. Off to continue cleaning and getting stuff done around this pigsty.
have a great day!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
fitness
Hey everybody!
I feel better this week. I've started to push myself again, slowly, and it feels great.
I started with the easiest (for me... I this would be the toughest for most): exercise. I realized I've only beeing doing running and volleyball. That's nothing to scoff at, but still, it's mainly cardio and not too big a challenge for me. I had let muscle/resistance training become a thing of the past, thus turning my almost wonderful abs to mush. So this week, here was my approach: I started taking walks at lunch again. To do this, I either have to eat at my desk before or get something takeout. I'll get to my lunches further down. So 20-minute-ish walks at lunch, plus volleyball twice this week, running last Sunday, running to volleyball and walking back Monday, AND did an awesome class with a former professional boxer called "intense cardio". It was great cardio, but more importantly for me, his classes work ALL muscle groups. Including the oft-overlooked back.
Food-wise, I did a teeeeenie tiny bit of groceries, and had some leftovers from the weekend, so all my breakfasts and dinners were homemade. All my lunches were meal replacement smoothies from Liquid Nutrition, with chocolate Vega Whole Food Optimizer added. Now I am not particularly fond of replacing ACTUAL food with powdered, dried, or pill-shaped foods, but I gave it a try. I had one every day this week. The two smoothies I alternated between are high in calories (600 and 450 respectively) so I am not starving myself. The aim was to try to replace the nutrients I am NOT getting because I am not eating homemade lunches, and see what the Vega is good for. So far, I've felt more energetic this week than I have in months, though mood-wise it's the beginning of the PMS cycle, which always starts on a ridiculous high, where I become uber productive at home and at work, am super pleasant... which eventually morphs into the dark, brooding, unhappy, complacent and depressed me as my period approaches. Anyway, for now I am riding the happy wave.
Speaking of happy, I bought a ton of underwear today (10 pairs for $30) and they are mostly SUPER FUNKY! I am a big fan of fashion right now, since it's all about fluorescents and flowers and crazy patterns and shit. I like many different looks, but I've always had a soft spot for ridiculously bright colours.
In other happy news, I totally forgot until yesterday that we have tomorrow off since it is Canada Day. I will use the day to sleep in, get a lot of cleaning done, go play some free beach volleyball, and enjoy some me time.
Alright, I am off to lie down for a few minutes before I head to vball. Have a great evening, and make this week the week you start pushing yourself again. Go go go!
I feel better this week. I've started to push myself again, slowly, and it feels great.
I started with the easiest (for me... I this would be the toughest for most): exercise. I realized I've only beeing doing running and volleyball. That's nothing to scoff at, but still, it's mainly cardio and not too big a challenge for me. I had let muscle/resistance training become a thing of the past, thus turning my almost wonderful abs to mush. So this week, here was my approach: I started taking walks at lunch again. To do this, I either have to eat at my desk before or get something takeout. I'll get to my lunches further down. So 20-minute-ish walks at lunch, plus volleyball twice this week, running last Sunday, running to volleyball and walking back Monday, AND did an awesome class with a former professional boxer called "intense cardio". It was great cardio, but more importantly for me, his classes work ALL muscle groups. Including the oft-overlooked back.
Food-wise, I did a teeeeenie tiny bit of groceries, and had some leftovers from the weekend, so all my breakfasts and dinners were homemade. All my lunches were meal replacement smoothies from Liquid Nutrition, with chocolate Vega Whole Food Optimizer added. Now I am not particularly fond of replacing ACTUAL food with powdered, dried, or pill-shaped foods, but I gave it a try. I had one every day this week. The two smoothies I alternated between are high in calories (600 and 450 respectively) so I am not starving myself. The aim was to try to replace the nutrients I am NOT getting because I am not eating homemade lunches, and see what the Vega is good for. So far, I've felt more energetic this week than I have in months, though mood-wise it's the beginning of the PMS cycle, which always starts on a ridiculous high, where I become uber productive at home and at work, am super pleasant... which eventually morphs into the dark, brooding, unhappy, complacent and depressed me as my period approaches. Anyway, for now I am riding the happy wave.
Speaking of happy, I bought a ton of underwear today (10 pairs for $30) and they are mostly SUPER FUNKY! I am a big fan of fashion right now, since it's all about fluorescents and flowers and crazy patterns and shit. I like many different looks, but I've always had a soft spot for ridiculously bright colours.
In other happy news, I totally forgot until yesterday that we have tomorrow off since it is Canada Day. I will use the day to sleep in, get a lot of cleaning done, go play some free beach volleyball, and enjoy some me time.
Alright, I am off to lie down for a few minutes before I head to vball. Have a great evening, and make this week the week you start pushing yourself again. Go go go!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The importance of measuring
Not much time to write, but felt it is important to remind everyone to take measurements in addition to looking at the scale. The scale is fickle.
I have been down lately because I'm feeling out of shape, but thanks to measuring, I know my shape hasn't changed much at all. I might not be as tight, but I am still the same size despite my weight having gone up significantly.
I am back to 140, and will keep pushing. I am going to an intense cardio class tonight, vball tomorrow, perhaps running (or nothing) on Friday, bootcamp Saturday, then MAYBE some parkour on Sunday... but I'll need a break at some point, so it will be Friday or Sunday.
Need to get my head back in the game. Need groceries and motivation to cook. For now, starting to count calories approximately again and it's working.
Have a great day!
I have been down lately because I'm feeling out of shape, but thanks to measuring, I know my shape hasn't changed much at all. I might not be as tight, but I am still the same size despite my weight having gone up significantly.
I am back to 140, and will keep pushing. I am going to an intense cardio class tonight, vball tomorrow, perhaps running (or nothing) on Friday, bootcamp Saturday, then MAYBE some parkour on Sunday... but I'll need a break at some point, so it will be Friday or Sunday.
Need to get my head back in the game. Need groceries and motivation to cook. For now, starting to count calories approximately again and it's working.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Getting back to it
slowly.
I'm back to blogging, back to watching calorie intake and being a little more cautious about what I eat. I was back to 141 this morning. phew! I would really, really like to get to 135 soon. The lowest I got was 135 for about a split second, and it will be tougher than usual, but I need to start pushing myself again.
If nothing else, I try as hard as I can (when I run out of groceries) to always, always eat breakfast at home and healthy. This is so that I give myself a good start to the day and know that I've eaten low-cal so my lunch can be more substantial.
I need to be careful because I'm going to visit family tonight, and that's always where I veer off-track the most. I also have a restaurant dinner coming up. I need to get back to my habit of looking at the menu beforehand (online) and choosing what I'll eat in advance, so I don't succumb to my whims.
Alright, just polishing up a bowl of organic Greek yog, almonds, blueberries and high fibre Kashi cereal, plus two tiny nectarines, and I'm off to work.
Have a great day!
I'm back to blogging, back to watching calorie intake and being a little more cautious about what I eat. I was back to 141 this morning. phew! I would really, really like to get to 135 soon. The lowest I got was 135 for about a split second, and it will be tougher than usual, but I need to start pushing myself again.
If nothing else, I try as hard as I can (when I run out of groceries) to always, always eat breakfast at home and healthy. This is so that I give myself a good start to the day and know that I've eaten low-cal so my lunch can be more substantial.
I need to be careful because I'm going to visit family tonight, and that's always where I veer off-track the most. I also have a restaurant dinner coming up. I need to get back to my habit of looking at the menu beforehand (online) and choosing what I'll eat in advance, so I don't succumb to my whims.
Alright, just polishing up a bowl of organic Greek yog, almonds, blueberries and high fibre Kashi cereal, plus two tiny nectarines, and I'm off to work.
Have a great day!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
It's high time I got back to this!
Okay, so. I know, I know, it's been far too long. I've neglected my blog and the kind people who read it.
Essentially, I've had to neglect many things these days. The past few months I was having a burnout, causing me to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. In order to bring myself back to zero, recharge, reset, I had to pause my social obligations to focus on giving myself "me" time, and sadly, work.
I was getting a lot of freelance work, which means I would come home from a full-time shift of brain work at a computer, rush to eat whatever I could scrounge up, then continue to work all night. This went on for weeks.
I also have some fairly substantial and distressing family issues happening. My grandma was hospitalized earlier this year for a heart attack, then my aunt, then my other aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer, which sent my grandma back to the hospital for anxiety, and one of my aunts has knee problems, and they are all trying to care for each other, while my bastard of an uncle is there, helping no one and creating an additional burden for my family.
I had some friendships to mend lately too.
But as far as I am concerned, my life is great regardless. Bad things happen, and it's how you cope with them that makes the difference. I have stopped losing weight, and have been fluctuating between staying relatively stable at 139-140, and jumping to 145 at times and then getting myself back under control. I am a little down sometimes because I know I'm not putting in what I should be to my diet and exercise, but I have committed to running and volleyball, which is about all I can handle right now. Plus, household chores, including groceries, are the first thing to take a backseat when I become overwhelmed with all the commitments I have, but I am always being very, very careful to make wise food choices, even if they cost an arm and a leg.
The BEST news I have is that I have officially run 10KM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHoooolllyy sheeeet! I might have done almost 11km in fact, in 1:10:00ish. Now my goal is to apply my ability to run for that long to make it from my house to my grandma's place. Then once I do that, I'll set some new goals.
I wanted to have a killer bikini body by July, which aint gonna happen, but I'm content to just be maintaining for now, since I don't want to push myself into another burnout. I have a lot to manage emotionally right now, so when things are calmer, I will focus once again on pushing my physical and mental limits.
I just had an amazing birthday week, with so many amazing people around me. And my boyfriend is just about the best thing since sliced bread. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he made me turn the car around without explaining why, just saying he forgot something, then made me pull over, walk into a flower shop, and pick a bouquet. I responded "for who, my family?" (we were spending time with my family this weekend), and he told me no, they were just for me. I melted. In fact I nearly cried. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.
This is but one of many things he does to support and show his love for me, and he has no idea the effect it has. I am exploding inside, so to avoid making all my friends sick by gushing about it, I chose to blog my rainbowy love. He understands how much damage I have from my past, and he does everything to show me I'm worth more, and I consider myself lucky. Intensely.
Alright, so that's my news. I hope to start blogging more frequently, but we'll see how my life unravels in the weeks and months to come. I may have to dedicate more time to family, but I'll do my best, for my readers, but most of all, for my own well-being.
I hope you're all sustaining your motivation and taking great care of yourselves. No matter what's happening, that should always come first, otherwise you're eventually useless to everyone. And no one else can do it for you.
Essentially, I've had to neglect many things these days. The past few months I was having a burnout, causing me to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. In order to bring myself back to zero, recharge, reset, I had to pause my social obligations to focus on giving myself "me" time, and sadly, work.
I was getting a lot of freelance work, which means I would come home from a full-time shift of brain work at a computer, rush to eat whatever I could scrounge up, then continue to work all night. This went on for weeks.
I also have some fairly substantial and distressing family issues happening. My grandma was hospitalized earlier this year for a heart attack, then my aunt, then my other aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer, which sent my grandma back to the hospital for anxiety, and one of my aunts has knee problems, and they are all trying to care for each other, while my bastard of an uncle is there, helping no one and creating an additional burden for my family.
I had some friendships to mend lately too.
But as far as I am concerned, my life is great regardless. Bad things happen, and it's how you cope with them that makes the difference. I have stopped losing weight, and have been fluctuating between staying relatively stable at 139-140, and jumping to 145 at times and then getting myself back under control. I am a little down sometimes because I know I'm not putting in what I should be to my diet and exercise, but I have committed to running and volleyball, which is about all I can handle right now. Plus, household chores, including groceries, are the first thing to take a backseat when I become overwhelmed with all the commitments I have, but I am always being very, very careful to make wise food choices, even if they cost an arm and a leg.
The BEST news I have is that I have officially run 10KM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHoooolllyy sheeeet! I might have done almost 11km in fact, in 1:10:00ish. Now my goal is to apply my ability to run for that long to make it from my house to my grandma's place. Then once I do that, I'll set some new goals.
I wanted to have a killer bikini body by July, which aint gonna happen, but I'm content to just be maintaining for now, since I don't want to push myself into another burnout. I have a lot to manage emotionally right now, so when things are calmer, I will focus once again on pushing my physical and mental limits.
I just had an amazing birthday week, with so many amazing people around me. And my boyfriend is just about the best thing since sliced bread. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he made me turn the car around without explaining why, just saying he forgot something, then made me pull over, walk into a flower shop, and pick a bouquet. I responded "for who, my family?" (we were spending time with my family this weekend), and he told me no, they were just for me. I melted. In fact I nearly cried. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.
This is but one of many things he does to support and show his love for me, and he has no idea the effect it has. I am exploding inside, so to avoid making all my friends sick by gushing about it, I chose to blog my rainbowy love. He understands how much damage I have from my past, and he does everything to show me I'm worth more, and I consider myself lucky. Intensely.
Alright, so that's my news. I hope to start blogging more frequently, but we'll see how my life unravels in the weeks and months to come. I may have to dedicate more time to family, but I'll do my best, for my readers, but most of all, for my own well-being.
I hope you're all sustaining your motivation and taking great care of yourselves. No matter what's happening, that should always come first, otherwise you're eventually useless to everyone. And no one else can do it for you.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
bad, bad blogger.
I am sorry it's been so long. I'm mostly sorry to myself. But for anyone who finds any value or interest in my posts, I apologize as well... I will be back. I am taking a few weeks off because I need to cut a few things out at the moment.
Some intense family stuff is happening, and I recently almost had a total burnout, so I am taking steps to take better care of myself and those around me.
By the way though, I ran 10 km two nights ago. AAAAHHH!!! My least likely goal has been accomplished!
Still at 140, and feeling fairly good about myself for now, but still have my sights set on another 10 lb loss eventually.
Some intense family stuff is happening, and I recently almost had a total burnout, so I am taking steps to take better care of myself and those around me.
By the way though, I ran 10 km two nights ago. AAAAHHH!!! My least likely goal has been accomplished!
Still at 140, and feeling fairly good about myself for now, but still have my sights set on another 10 lb loss eventually.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Issss myyyy birfday
And am loving all the messages I am getting from friends, family and others I haven't heard from in ages. That's my favourite part of the whole thing.
All my wishes have already come true, so no need for more, will just enjoy my day and wish that it lasts forever :)
Off to get ready for work, booo.
All my wishes have already come true, so no need for more, will just enjoy my day and wish that it lasts forever :)
Off to get ready for work, booo.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
alas, a new post!
I am sorry for being away so long. I also can't guarantee another post in the immediate future, but I wanted to let you all know I haven't jumped ship completely.
To sums things up, I had a burnout. Or started to anyway. With work, freelance projects, social and family obligations, etc., I was starting to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. I reached a point where I cancelled all "extras" and only worked, to give myself time to sleep. I am feeling much better now, and my boyfriend is taking me away for three days in a cottage by a lake for my birthday, which is just what the doctor ordered.
I thought, if anything, I should mention (since my weight loss has stagnated and I don't have much to say these days) that I ran my very first 5 KM race on Sunday. My time was 28:14:4... not bad, not amazing, but not bad.
Considering I hated running up until about two months ago, I am thrilled. I am continuing to challenge myself and push my limits. For my own pleasure, I ran for 60 minutes on Friday (almost 10 km)... so I think my goal of making it to 10 km will be accomplished sooner than later.
Eating is fairly on track and exercise too. All that's missing right now is proper sleep. I am counting down the minutes til I leave for the cottage on Thursday, eeeeeee!!!
I hope you're all doing amazingly. I will catch up with all your blogs when I have a bit more time. Plus I have more stuff to talk about eventually.
To sums things up, I had a burnout. Or started to anyway. With work, freelance projects, social and family obligations, etc., I was starting to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. I reached a point where I cancelled all "extras" and only worked, to give myself time to sleep. I am feeling much better now, and my boyfriend is taking me away for three days in a cottage by a lake for my birthday, which is just what the doctor ordered.
I thought, if anything, I should mention (since my weight loss has stagnated and I don't have much to say these days) that I ran my very first 5 KM race on Sunday. My time was 28:14:4... not bad, not amazing, but not bad.
Considering I hated running up until about two months ago, I am thrilled. I am continuing to challenge myself and push my limits. For my own pleasure, I ran for 60 minutes on Friday (almost 10 km)... so I think my goal of making it to 10 km will be accomplished sooner than later.
Eating is fairly on track and exercise too. All that's missing right now is proper sleep. I am counting down the minutes til I leave for the cottage on Thursday, eeeeeee!!!
I hope you're all doing amazingly. I will catch up with all your blogs when I have a bit more time. Plus I have more stuff to talk about eventually.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
oops
I shouldn't title my posts until after they're done. My last post, called "Advertorial" such and such, was, in part, meant to cover the subject of flossing.
Essentially, I want to say how important flossing is, and I rarely adervtise any brand, but I strongly recommend anyone who hates flossing to start using the waxless flosses that are growing in popularity, since they are less likely to make your gums bleed. And if your excuse for not flossing is that your gums bleed, well that passes after just a few times of flossing. But you should also use extra-soft toothbrushes...
I know this seems random, but frankly, most people don't floss, and oral health has strong ties to overall health, and a strong correlation with pancreatic cancer and other serious illnesses. Not only that, no one might be telling you that you have horrible horrible breath, and flossing can save you from this.
Maybe one day I'll write more articulately about this, but for now I am just rushing to get this point across since I forgot in my other post. Gotta run! Get flossing!
Essentially, I want to say how important flossing is, and I rarely adervtise any brand, but I strongly recommend anyone who hates flossing to start using the waxless flosses that are growing in popularity, since they are less likely to make your gums bleed. And if your excuse for not flossing is that your gums bleed, well that passes after just a few times of flossing. But you should also use extra-soft toothbrushes...
I know this seems random, but frankly, most people don't floss, and oral health has strong ties to overall health, and a strong correlation with pancreatic cancer and other serious illnesses. Not only that, no one might be telling you that you have horrible horrible breath, and flossing can save you from this.
Maybe one day I'll write more articulately about this, but for now I am just rushing to get this point across since I forgot in my other post. Gotta run! Get flossing!
advertorial, and my own little version of happy.
You may have a hard time following my moods, but hey, take it or leave it! I am in a calm but happy mood today. After weeks and months of socializing, I had some prized 'me' time today. I woke up at 10:30 a.m. (I rarely sleep in anymore past 8am on weekends, but lately I've been extra exhausted). I then took my sweet time taking a long, exfoliating bath, doing my nails, reading a couple of chapters of The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz, being silent and listening to 50s music.
I also made my own delicious espresso, but it was so much that I had jitters all morning, and plucking eyebrows and painting toenails are quite the tasks with trembling hands! But I managed. I am feeling vintage today. Call me melodramatic, but my "look" is sometimes dictated by the music I am listening to. Given that I am listening to jukebox hits today, my hair and makeup are very clean and "pretty", as opposed to my usual slightly messy look. I am feeling my inner Audrey lately, inspired by my boyfriend's fondness for vintage beauty queens like Brigitte, Audrey and Sofia... I'm a big fan of the pinuppy Brigitte look usually, but lately I'm feeling prim and proper.
I decided to cut myself some slack about the weight and NOT workout today. Since I pretty much only did volleyball this week, I consider it a week off. Starting Monday, I will get back into it, possibly tomorrow depending on the weather.
Sadly, part of my glumness yesterday was triggered by seeing photos of myself. I "know" I am not fat, or even very chubby, but I still see a chunky person when I look at myself. I tell myself, at 5'2'', 140 IS in fact a little on the chubby side, then I slap myself by reminding me that I am thick and muscular, and curvy, and that is beautiful. Losing weight truly does prove to us crazies that weight, in itself, is not the issue. I will continue to try to work on my anxieties and distorted self-image, and try to not let these things have such a stronghold on my emotional state. I swear it! ha!
Alright, I am off to stuff my little vintage face with some not-so-old-school sushi and watch The Hangover II with a certain piece of arm-candy I like to call Noodle.
A sweet afternoon to you all, darlings.
I also made my own delicious espresso, but it was so much that I had jitters all morning, and plucking eyebrows and painting toenails are quite the tasks with trembling hands! But I managed. I am feeling vintage today. Call me melodramatic, but my "look" is sometimes dictated by the music I am listening to. Given that I am listening to jukebox hits today, my hair and makeup are very clean and "pretty", as opposed to my usual slightly messy look. I am feeling my inner Audrey lately, inspired by my boyfriend's fondness for vintage beauty queens like Brigitte, Audrey and Sofia... I'm a big fan of the pinuppy Brigitte look usually, but lately I'm feeling prim and proper.
I decided to cut myself some slack about the weight and NOT workout today. Since I pretty much only did volleyball this week, I consider it a week off. Starting Monday, I will get back into it, possibly tomorrow depending on the weather.
Sadly, part of my glumness yesterday was triggered by seeing photos of myself. I "know" I am not fat, or even very chubby, but I still see a chunky person when I look at myself. I tell myself, at 5'2'', 140 IS in fact a little on the chubby side, then I slap myself by reminding me that I am thick and muscular, and curvy, and that is beautiful. Losing weight truly does prove to us crazies that weight, in itself, is not the issue. I will continue to try to work on my anxieties and distorted self-image, and try to not let these things have such a stronghold on my emotional state. I swear it! ha!
Alright, I am off to stuff my little vintage face with some not-so-old-school sushi and watch The Hangover II with a certain piece of arm-candy I like to call Noodle.
A sweet afternoon to you all, darlings.
Friday, May 27, 2011
feeling glum
Maybe it's the rain, and the resulting inability to exercise outdoors, or maybe the PMS, or both, but I'm feeling blue... and fat. Well not fat per se, since I hate skinny people who call themselves fat, but feeling heavy.
Basically, I am totally healthy weight-wise, and the remaining weight I want to lose is more for aesthetics and also to keep myself just a bit farther from 140, which to me is my healthy threshold. I would like to be 125-130, so that anything below 140 is maintenance... and 140 is when I kick it into high gear, but for now I am still hovering around 140. I was 140 this morning after jumping to 143 (not really, it was more about food timing than actual real weight gain), but I need to keep my eating patterns healthy and regular.
Anyway, I can't write much right now, but hopefully the sun will shine this weekend...
Basically, I am totally healthy weight-wise, and the remaining weight I want to lose is more for aesthetics and also to keep myself just a bit farther from 140, which to me is my healthy threshold. I would like to be 125-130, so that anything below 140 is maintenance... and 140 is when I kick it into high gear, but for now I am still hovering around 140. I was 140 this morning after jumping to 143 (not really, it was more about food timing than actual real weight gain), but I need to keep my eating patterns healthy and regular.
Anyway, I can't write much right now, but hopefully the sun will shine this weekend...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
fahk.
143 this morning. yes, it is largely a matter of bloating and the timing of my meals, but fahk. I tried so hard to get to 135 so I wouldn't cross the 140 threshold.
I am going to have to come up with a plan soon, because I'm too disorganized about this now. I need a routine. a system.
grr. am annoyed right now.
I am going to have to come up with a plan soon, because I'm too disorganized about this now. I need a routine. a system.
grr. am annoyed right now.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
a brief absence
Hi guys!
Sorry for being out of commission for a few days, it was the weekend of la visite! Good friends of mine were visiting, I attended another wedding, my parents were in town, and I had to fit all that in while making arrangements for the boyfriend to meet them all, while he also had several family affairs to attend to.
It all worked out as good as it possibly could have. Everybody did everything they had to.
I managed to eat relatively well considering all the events: wedding, brunch, dinner out, family dinners and lunches... But what upsets me just a little is that the scale is still at 140. This is my plateau weight. I am not being as vigilant as I could be food wise, but only in the sense that I should be making food at home to get more veggies and good proteins in, without all the salt and stuff that's added to prepared foods, but I am exercising more than enough.
I'm still very happy with my body though. I bought some summer dresses yesterday, and will have to go do a bit more summer shopping soon. The lineups were so huge yesterday that it took me 1.5 hours to see two stores. Ugh! In any case, I am excited to have something to wear on the weekends... mind you I have dressed up one of the dresses today and am wearing it to work.
I ran for 45 mins yesterday, in addition to playing vball (which I only found out about 10 minutes before starting)... I ran on Friday evening and Saturday morning, and had Sunday off from exercising.
Alright, I have to get to work, hasta la vista babay!
Sorry for being out of commission for a few days, it was the weekend of la visite! Good friends of mine were visiting, I attended another wedding, my parents were in town, and I had to fit all that in while making arrangements for the boyfriend to meet them all, while he also had several family affairs to attend to.
It all worked out as good as it possibly could have. Everybody did everything they had to.
I managed to eat relatively well considering all the events: wedding, brunch, dinner out, family dinners and lunches... But what upsets me just a little is that the scale is still at 140. This is my plateau weight. I am not being as vigilant as I could be food wise, but only in the sense that I should be making food at home to get more veggies and good proteins in, without all the salt and stuff that's added to prepared foods, but I am exercising more than enough.
I'm still very happy with my body though. I bought some summer dresses yesterday, and will have to go do a bit more summer shopping soon. The lineups were so huge yesterday that it took me 1.5 hours to see two stores. Ugh! In any case, I am excited to have something to wear on the weekends... mind you I have dressed up one of the dresses today and am wearing it to work.
I ran for 45 mins yesterday, in addition to playing vball (which I only found out about 10 minutes before starting)... I ran on Friday evening and Saturday morning, and had Sunday off from exercising.
Alright, I have to get to work, hasta la vista babay!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A strange wagon have I
One which allows me to be both off and on at the same time.
So, I was about to write about how I've fallen off the proverbial wagooon once again before I realized that is totally untrue, sort of. The only thing I can tap myself on the wrist for is eating refined sugars and not making meals at home. Otherwise, I am doign really well.
I didn't buy groceries, so I ate out all week, but 95% of the food I ate was not bad for me. I drank a few more Diet Cokes than I would have liked, and ate a couple of desserts this weekend that aren't great for my insides, but I am careful about all of my choices, even the bad ones.
Otherwise, I worked out as if I am still in "challenge" mode: volleyball 3 nights, running, two hard gym workouts, walking, etc...not to mention my favourite pastime with a certain Noodle of mine... which totally counts for burned calories!!
So the scale is hovering between 137 and 139, and more like 141 on weekends, but I am becoming very fit. I actually feel as though I'm still not eating enough, but it will be better when I am motivated to cook. Being at my apartment is a little depressing these days (soon I'll be able to decorate, but for now it looks pretty much like I've just moved in) so I haven't really stuck to cooking since I moved here. Not for more than a few weeks at least.
My emotional life is stable and wonderful. Medical literature has found, in recent years, that when you get depressed you create new "pathways" in your brain that leave you more and more likely to relapse into depression. I am trying a personal experiment whereby I try to form "happy" pathways when I think of difficult/bad things, to try my hardest to undo damage from previous bouts of depression. My depression last year was so severe for so long that I have quite literally been unable to feel totally stable since, even though everything is amazing. By unstable I mean that even the SMALLEST glitch in my happy little life throws me into a disproportionately low mood.
So, on the assumption that it is possible to create pathways with repeated, ongoing stress and depression, it should naturally follow that you can, too, create new pathways with long stretches of extreme happiness and contentment, and by channeling any negative energy/thoughts toward a happier alternative such as sports, love, friends, etc.
This is akin to the theory behind Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (in my limited knowledge of the subject), and the oft-cited "mind over matter" approach. In my case, I am trying to use my mind to redecorate my grey matter by associating happier thoughts and patterns when faced with challenging, emotionally distressing situations.
Okay, enough of my own personal quack-psychobabble. Have a great Sunday afternoon, and I hope you all add a little happy to your day today!
(p.s. here's a hint if you feel you're never happy: say thanks every single day for the truly important things in your life... appreciation is the key to true happiness, at least I think so.)
So, I was about to write about how I've fallen off the proverbial wagooon once again before I realized that is totally untrue, sort of. The only thing I can tap myself on the wrist for is eating refined sugars and not making meals at home. Otherwise, I am doign really well.
I didn't buy groceries, so I ate out all week, but 95% of the food I ate was not bad for me. I drank a few more Diet Cokes than I would have liked, and ate a couple of desserts this weekend that aren't great for my insides, but I am careful about all of my choices, even the bad ones.
Otherwise, I worked out as if I am still in "challenge" mode: volleyball 3 nights, running, two hard gym workouts, walking, etc...not to mention my favourite pastime with a certain Noodle of mine... which totally counts for burned calories!!
So the scale is hovering between 137 and 139, and more like 141 on weekends, but I am becoming very fit. I actually feel as though I'm still not eating enough, but it will be better when I am motivated to cook. Being at my apartment is a little depressing these days (soon I'll be able to decorate, but for now it looks pretty much like I've just moved in) so I haven't really stuck to cooking since I moved here. Not for more than a few weeks at least.
My emotional life is stable and wonderful. Medical literature has found, in recent years, that when you get depressed you create new "pathways" in your brain that leave you more and more likely to relapse into depression. I am trying a personal experiment whereby I try to form "happy" pathways when I think of difficult/bad things, to try my hardest to undo damage from previous bouts of depression. My depression last year was so severe for so long that I have quite literally been unable to feel totally stable since, even though everything is amazing. By unstable I mean that even the SMALLEST glitch in my happy little life throws me into a disproportionately low mood.
So, on the assumption that it is possible to create pathways with repeated, ongoing stress and depression, it should naturally follow that you can, too, create new pathways with long stretches of extreme happiness and contentment, and by channeling any negative energy/thoughts toward a happier alternative such as sports, love, friends, etc.
This is akin to the theory behind Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (in my limited knowledge of the subject), and the oft-cited "mind over matter" approach. In my case, I am trying to use my mind to redecorate my grey matter by associating happier thoughts and patterns when faced with challenging, emotionally distressing situations.
Okay, enough of my own personal quack-psychobabble. Have a great Sunday afternoon, and I hope you all add a little happy to your day today!
(p.s. here's a hint if you feel you're never happy: say thanks every single day for the truly important things in your life... appreciation is the key to true happiness, at least I think so.)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
cool runnings
So I have the running bug, officially. I need to force myself to take a break.
I have now run 45 minutes straight, twice, which is equivalent (by my approximate calculations) to 7 km. Yesterday, I ran to and from volleyball (10 mins each way roughly), for another 3-3.5 km or so. Tonight, I will drive to volleyball most likely, and tomorrow I am off, running at least. I will probably go to the gym to workout.
I am just driven by the warm sunshine we've been having and my new ability to run.
Did I mention I bought shorts? Running shorts. I have not worn shorts or anything above the knee since I was about 15 years old, because I have always hated my legs. I still find them massive, but the leaner I get the more comfy I am exposing them. And part of me also has to rationalize that there is nothing "shocking" about my legs and therefore I should just get over my stupid obsession.
Personally, I love wearing as little clothing as possible when doing sports, but I had always worn my soccer shorts down to the knees and my socks up to meet them... gets pretty hot in 35 degrees though! Now, being able to play beach vball in actual shorts (and not tight workout knee-length pants) and potentially even a short top would be amazing.
So it has begun. I exposed my jiggling, huge thighs to thousands of people as I ran for 45 minutes through downtown and along the canal where there are tons of super fit runners and cyclists. And as one would hope, nobody batted an eye...
Okay, off to finish my delicious breakfast (Greek yog, strawberries, banana, walnuts, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, maple syrup) and head to work. The week's almost over!
I have now run 45 minutes straight, twice, which is equivalent (by my approximate calculations) to 7 km. Yesterday, I ran to and from volleyball (10 mins each way roughly), for another 3-3.5 km or so. Tonight, I will drive to volleyball most likely, and tomorrow I am off, running at least. I will probably go to the gym to workout.
I am just driven by the warm sunshine we've been having and my new ability to run.
Did I mention I bought shorts? Running shorts. I have not worn shorts or anything above the knee since I was about 15 years old, because I have always hated my legs. I still find them massive, but the leaner I get the more comfy I am exposing them. And part of me also has to rationalize that there is nothing "shocking" about my legs and therefore I should just get over my stupid obsession.
Personally, I love wearing as little clothing as possible when doing sports, but I had always worn my soccer shorts down to the knees and my socks up to meet them... gets pretty hot in 35 degrees though! Now, being able to play beach vball in actual shorts (and not tight workout knee-length pants) and potentially even a short top would be amazing.
So it has begun. I exposed my jiggling, huge thighs to thousands of people as I ran for 45 minutes through downtown and along the canal where there are tons of super fit runners and cyclists. And as one would hope, nobody batted an eye...
Okay, off to finish my delicious breakfast (Greek yog, strawberries, banana, walnuts, Kashi Go Lean Crunch, maple syrup) and head to work. The week's almost over!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
happy
I played mini putt with Noodle last night, after visiting my Grandma and aunts, after running for 45 minutes in the hot sunshine... a good night I say.
Aside from some unsettled financial business and the occasional bad workweek, I can safely say I'm the happiest I've been since I was just a child probably.
Therefore, I can acknowledge that since I am now extremely healthy, fit, happy and all... my entire mission has been accomplished. But I am continuing to set goals because that is what drives me forward, keeps me from stagnating, giving up, or worse yet, going backward.
May you all have a sunny, productive day!
Aside from some unsettled financial business and the occasional bad workweek, I can safely say I'm the happiest I've been since I was just a child probably.
Therefore, I can acknowledge that since I am now extremely healthy, fit, happy and all... my entire mission has been accomplished. But I am continuing to set goals because that is what drives me forward, keeps me from stagnating, giving up, or worse yet, going backward.
May you all have a sunny, productive day!
Monday, May 9, 2011
not too much damage
After the wedding with the CRAZIEST spread I have ever seen, I managed not to put on much weight. The food was simply amazing. A combo Greek/Italian wedding and you'd think it can't be hard to have good food... but most wedding food is ordinary at best. This, however, was high-quality fare, and simply enough to feed all of Canada.
I had spent a month preparing, tanning, finding a dress, shoes, jewelry, a coat, down to the backup shoes I needed for dancing and driving... and it all paid off. I impressed my boyfriend and had my "coming out" of sorts, the grand unveiling of the new, happy, fit me. The night was perfect from start to finish and I couldn't be more in love. My man looked incredibly sexy (I don't know if I ever mentioned he's my former personal trainer and is super hot) and can even dance!!!! WTF! Amazing. JACKPOT!
k enough. hahaha.
So food-wise, we ate ourselves sick, but I had basically eaten nothing else all day to keep my professionally applied makeup from wearing off. My boyfriend (who I will affectionately refer to as Noodle from here on in) and I ate nothing but fruit (and some cookies and croissants, but shhhh!) the next day to cleanse.
Here's some pretty big news too: with not more than 4 hours of decent sleep, I got up at 8ish the morning after the wedding and went for a jog...for a full 45 minutes! I added it all up and I think it's 7km give or take. Can you believe it? I can't! I am going to kick 10-km's pansy ass in no time methinks!
Okay, off to bed para mi. Good evening munchkins.
I had spent a month preparing, tanning, finding a dress, shoes, jewelry, a coat, down to the backup shoes I needed for dancing and driving... and it all paid off. I impressed my boyfriend and had my "coming out" of sorts, the grand unveiling of the new, happy, fit me. The night was perfect from start to finish and I couldn't be more in love. My man looked incredibly sexy (I don't know if I ever mentioned he's my former personal trainer and is super hot) and can even dance!!!! WTF! Amazing. JACKPOT!
k enough. hahaha.
So food-wise, we ate ourselves sick, but I had basically eaten nothing else all day to keep my professionally applied makeup from wearing off. My boyfriend (who I will affectionately refer to as Noodle from here on in) and I ate nothing but fruit (and some cookies and croissants, but shhhh!) the next day to cleanse.
Here's some pretty big news too: with not more than 4 hours of decent sleep, I got up at 8ish the morning after the wedding and went for a jog...for a full 45 minutes! I added it all up and I think it's 7km give or take. Can you believe it? I can't! I am going to kick 10-km's pansy ass in no time methinks!
Okay, off to bed para mi. Good evening munchkins.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Advice part 2
I try not to complicate things too much for people, so yesterday's tips were the essentials, but a bunch of other stuff came to mind when I closed my computer yesterday. Other things I did that were essential to my success in losing weight. So here are a few other ideas:
1. Educate yourself, often. While I believe in taking small steps at first in losing weight / getting fit, I think it is imperative to continuously do research, ask others questions, and seek advice from professionals. Most of the weight I lost I lost on my own, so I needed to know what I was doing. A lot of people have a lot of wrong nutritional info and think they're eating well when they're not. My basics are first: know how much of each nutritional element you need (i.e. how much fat content is too much, same for sodium, sugar... and how much protein is great, calories you need etc) then read alllllllll food labels. A safe bet is to start eating only homemade meals as much as possible, and slowly replacing unhealthier options with healthier ones.
2. Reach out to people for help. I was lucky someone suggested blogging because it became my support system. My friends who are supporting me would read it. But you could just as easily try to find a good friend/family member who you have to call/write to every day to report to. For people like me, the guilt of reporting failures to someone else is enough to keep me moving.
3. Most people go to gyms to lose weight, but if you can, find a sport/dance class/activity you LOVE and try to do that at least once a week for exercise. That won't feel like exercise because it's fun and it becomes a kind of "reward" for all the hard, boring work you're doing to lose weight. Oh, and do web research to find free classes (like I find on trainingmobs.com, which unfortunately is only in Montreal for the time being). Also look at group buying sites like Groupon, Teambuy, etc., for super deals on gyms/classes etc. This is a great way to try out new stuff, maybe discover something you like to do as a workout, and challenge your body to something different. And, if you have the means, I would say consult a personal trainer for a while... who knows, you may get a hot, amazing boyfriend out of it, like me! ha!
4. Be forgiving of yourself, but don't be too easy on yourself either. And if you've ALWAYS had a real weight/health problem, try looking into the real reasons behind that, whether by getting a medical checkup, consulting a therapist or doing some soul searching on your own. That's the only way you'll ever manage to maintain your weight loss in the long term...
Over and out.
1. Educate yourself, often. While I believe in taking small steps at first in losing weight / getting fit, I think it is imperative to continuously do research, ask others questions, and seek advice from professionals. Most of the weight I lost I lost on my own, so I needed to know what I was doing. A lot of people have a lot of wrong nutritional info and think they're eating well when they're not. My basics are first: know how much of each nutritional element you need (i.e. how much fat content is too much, same for sodium, sugar... and how much protein is great, calories you need etc) then read alllllllll food labels. A safe bet is to start eating only homemade meals as much as possible, and slowly replacing unhealthier options with healthier ones.
2. Reach out to people for help. I was lucky someone suggested blogging because it became my support system. My friends who are supporting me would read it. But you could just as easily try to find a good friend/family member who you have to call/write to every day to report to. For people like me, the guilt of reporting failures to someone else is enough to keep me moving.
3. Most people go to gyms to lose weight, but if you can, find a sport/dance class/activity you LOVE and try to do that at least once a week for exercise. That won't feel like exercise because it's fun and it becomes a kind of "reward" for all the hard, boring work you're doing to lose weight. Oh, and do web research to find free classes (like I find on trainingmobs.com, which unfortunately is only in Montreal for the time being). Also look at group buying sites like Groupon, Teambuy, etc., for super deals on gyms/classes etc. This is a great way to try out new stuff, maybe discover something you like to do as a workout, and challenge your body to something different. And, if you have the means, I would say consult a personal trainer for a while... who knows, you may get a hot, amazing boyfriend out of it, like me! ha!
4. Be forgiving of yourself, but don't be too easy on yourself either. And if you've ALWAYS had a real weight/health problem, try looking into the real reasons behind that, whether by getting a medical checkup, consulting a therapist or doing some soul searching on your own. That's the only way you'll ever manage to maintain your weight loss in the long term...
Over and out.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Some advice
A friend recently informed me that a group of her friends were reading my blog for inspiration. I was stunned. It shocks me that people read it at all frankly, but especially that people I know found out about it and find something valuable in it. So today I've decided to give everyone some advice. Having successfully lost 50 lbs in a healthy way, and improved my overall health, I feel I am in a position to give advice at this point, at least based on my own personal experience.
First off, let's look at motivation. If you're going to accomplish something big, that takes time, you need to have some solid motivation. That doesn't just magically appear. Unfortunately, for me to finally have the motivation to take care of myself, I had to have any other options taken away. I was at the peak of my depression, and my living/financial situation had me stuck living in my past. It was a fight-or-flight response. I couldn't count the number of times in my life I said I would lose weight and then lose 10 or 20 lbs and something would happen and I'd stop. So, if you want to see a real change in your life, you HAVE to be prepared to do things differently, to make sacrifices and to commit in the long term. I will have to fight for my health/fitness for the rest of my life and I know it. I also know that no matter what happens, I will not let depression, breakups, money, ANYTHING stop me.
Secondly, STOP with the fad diets and extreme measures to lose weight quickly. Also, on the other end of the spectrum, stop doing only what's easy and never pushing yourself. Personally, I don't mind whether my friends lose or gain a few pounds; it's their body, and I love them regardless. But all I ever hear with most people are excuses. Then one day they decide they want to change their lives, but a week later, the excuses are back. If you don't try drastic measures, and instead stick to basics: calorie counting for the amount of exercise you do, eating a variety of unprocessed, healthy foods and exercising vigorously at least 5 days a week, you will get in shape. It just might be slowly. You can always adjust as you get used to the changes and make it more challenging or push yourself to do even better. But start with baby steps. Whatever doesn't make you start making excuses (i.e. don't start off working out suddenly 6 days a week for an hour each time and cutting out all your favourite foods).
Focus on small, achievable goals, and then set longer-term goals as you go. And ABSOLUTELY, and I mean this, TAKE MEASUREMENTS. I believe you should weigh yourself every day too, though many disagree, because I think it helps women realize how much our weight fluctuates in a day and that weight is just a number that you can use to inform yourself of progress. But often (as with me right now) I'm not losing weight but I AM losing inches, which is much more important, because I'm losing fat and getting ripped abs :)
Sleep is of the utmost importance. Get more than 7 hours a night, and sleep at the same time every day, preferably sometime earlyish if you can. You'll eventually realize how valuable that is.
Those are my basics. Oh and, just do what you can to stay motivated, never give up. If you give up for one day, force yourself to start again the next day, or a week later. Don't make yourself feel guilty, just know that you can't make progress if you stagnate. Eventually, I hope you all manage to feel the way I do now. I feel like a new person. I've accomplished things I never thought I could, and now (with the motivation I've built over a year) I continue to challenge myself in new ways I never thought possible.
Remember, motivation comes eventually with developing the habit of eating well and exercising, not right away. In the beginning, you'll need to remind yourself that it takes alllllllll those small steps to make big progress.
Farewell fine friends, best of luck in whatever challenge you choose to undertake this spring.
First off, let's look at motivation. If you're going to accomplish something big, that takes time, you need to have some solid motivation. That doesn't just magically appear. Unfortunately, for me to finally have the motivation to take care of myself, I had to have any other options taken away. I was at the peak of my depression, and my living/financial situation had me stuck living in my past. It was a fight-or-flight response. I couldn't count the number of times in my life I said I would lose weight and then lose 10 or 20 lbs and something would happen and I'd stop. So, if you want to see a real change in your life, you HAVE to be prepared to do things differently, to make sacrifices and to commit in the long term. I will have to fight for my health/fitness for the rest of my life and I know it. I also know that no matter what happens, I will not let depression, breakups, money, ANYTHING stop me.
Secondly, STOP with the fad diets and extreme measures to lose weight quickly. Also, on the other end of the spectrum, stop doing only what's easy and never pushing yourself. Personally, I don't mind whether my friends lose or gain a few pounds; it's their body, and I love them regardless. But all I ever hear with most people are excuses. Then one day they decide they want to change their lives, but a week later, the excuses are back. If you don't try drastic measures, and instead stick to basics: calorie counting for the amount of exercise you do, eating a variety of unprocessed, healthy foods and exercising vigorously at least 5 days a week, you will get in shape. It just might be slowly. You can always adjust as you get used to the changes and make it more challenging or push yourself to do even better. But start with baby steps. Whatever doesn't make you start making excuses (i.e. don't start off working out suddenly 6 days a week for an hour each time and cutting out all your favourite foods).
Focus on small, achievable goals, and then set longer-term goals as you go. And ABSOLUTELY, and I mean this, TAKE MEASUREMENTS. I believe you should weigh yourself every day too, though many disagree, because I think it helps women realize how much our weight fluctuates in a day and that weight is just a number that you can use to inform yourself of progress. But often (as with me right now) I'm not losing weight but I AM losing inches, which is much more important, because I'm losing fat and getting ripped abs :)
Sleep is of the utmost importance. Get more than 7 hours a night, and sleep at the same time every day, preferably sometime earlyish if you can. You'll eventually realize how valuable that is.
Those are my basics. Oh and, just do what you can to stay motivated, never give up. If you give up for one day, force yourself to start again the next day, or a week later. Don't make yourself feel guilty, just know that you can't make progress if you stagnate. Eventually, I hope you all manage to feel the way I do now. I feel like a new person. I've accomplished things I never thought I could, and now (with the motivation I've built over a year) I continue to challenge myself in new ways I never thought possible.
Remember, motivation comes eventually with developing the habit of eating well and exercising, not right away. In the beginning, you'll need to remind yourself that it takes alllllllll those small steps to make big progress.
Farewell fine friends, best of luck in whatever challenge you choose to undertake this spring.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
lightening up
I am seeing the end of the tunnel approaching... life is slowly becoming less hectic than it has been over the last two weeks. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I am hopeful that next week I'll actually feel like calling my friends again, and making plans.
I have a dress, I think I've found the perfect shoes, all my appointments for Saturday are set (hair, makeup, waxing, mani-pedi), and all that's left to do is buy accessories and choose nailpolish colours, etc.
My challenge is also over, so that makes it easier to go out with people.
I am hovering around 137 on the scale, and the minute this rain stops I can get out and run and I think I'll lose weight that way. My 30-day fitness membership is almost up, and thanks to some stupid condo meeting I have to miss a really great sculpt class! But I got the boxing in last night, and will probably try to get in 1-2 more classes before it ends.
I went grocery shopping for some fruit, meat/fish, etc., so that I don't buy all my meals out this week. I am having some gum problems and I am a big believer in making sure you're eating and sleeping right before you start popping pills. I was surprised at my motivation to go get food, but I couldn't muster the energy for dishes. That's my next task, for tonight, if not Thursday.
My taxes are done and the accountant I hired at the last minute made my life ten gazillion times easier. He also saved me a lot of money, since I would have sent in my return done half-assedly by moi, and paid a lotttttt more. Now I have leftover savings to cover my taxes as well as some of my debt, yay!!!
So the light at the end of the tunnel is drawing near. Life is slowing down, and hopefully it will be for my boyfriend too and we can get away sometime soon and just be together, without interruption, for a couple of days. For now though, I'm focused on keeping my weight down and working out and looking pretty for the wedding so I can take "AFTER" photos and be beautiful for my man.
Okay, off to work, dum de dum dum dum....
I have a dress, I think I've found the perfect shoes, all my appointments for Saturday are set (hair, makeup, waxing, mani-pedi), and all that's left to do is buy accessories and choose nailpolish colours, etc.
My challenge is also over, so that makes it easier to go out with people.
I am hovering around 137 on the scale, and the minute this rain stops I can get out and run and I think I'll lose weight that way. My 30-day fitness membership is almost up, and thanks to some stupid condo meeting I have to miss a really great sculpt class! But I got the boxing in last night, and will probably try to get in 1-2 more classes before it ends.
I went grocery shopping for some fruit, meat/fish, etc., so that I don't buy all my meals out this week. I am having some gum problems and I am a big believer in making sure you're eating and sleeping right before you start popping pills. I was surprised at my motivation to go get food, but I couldn't muster the energy for dishes. That's my next task, for tonight, if not Thursday.
My taxes are done and the accountant I hired at the last minute made my life ten gazillion times easier. He also saved me a lot of money, since I would have sent in my return done half-assedly by moi, and paid a lotttttt more. Now I have leftover savings to cover my taxes as well as some of my debt, yay!!!
So the light at the end of the tunnel is drawing near. Life is slowing down, and hopefully it will be for my boyfriend too and we can get away sometime soon and just be together, without interruption, for a couple of days. For now though, I'm focused on keeping my weight down and working out and looking pretty for the wedding so I can take "AFTER" photos and be beautiful for my man.
Okay, off to work, dum de dum dum dum....
Monday, May 2, 2011
She's back
I finished my second round of Game ON! on Friday, and proceeded to eat nothing but bad food from Friday to Sunday morning. However, the quantity was okay enough for me not to gain more than two pounds :)
My girls' weekend was so nice: I got to catch up with some great friends I hadn't seen in months, if not several years.
I didn't sleep well over the last week, and the past four days I barely got a few hours each night since I would keep waking up. Last night I finally got 9 hours' sleep, aside from waking up in cold sweats (I think this may be related to hormone changes because of weight loss AND PMS).
Despite my fatigue, I went for a 5km jog with my best friend on both Saturday and Sunday mornings, in beautiful, warm, sunny weather. I would wake up before everyone (they were all hungover :), so I used my time effectively and it paid off.
So I was back to 138 this morning, but I am eating well and will play vball tonight. I shoe-shopped at lunch (did I mention I finally bought a dress? what a relief!!!). Now I'm off to go tanning and run many other errands.
I am in a good mood, but have some minor stresses going on right now. I am just trying to focus on one thing at a time though and keep my cool... and it's working. Life is great.
Okay, over and out!
My girls' weekend was so nice: I got to catch up with some great friends I hadn't seen in months, if not several years.
I didn't sleep well over the last week, and the past four days I barely got a few hours each night since I would keep waking up. Last night I finally got 9 hours' sleep, aside from waking up in cold sweats (I think this may be related to hormone changes because of weight loss AND PMS).
Despite my fatigue, I went for a 5km jog with my best friend on both Saturday and Sunday mornings, in beautiful, warm, sunny weather. I would wake up before everyone (they were all hungover :), so I used my time effectively and it paid off.
So I was back to 138 this morning, but I am eating well and will play vball tonight. I shoe-shopped at lunch (did I mention I finally bought a dress? what a relief!!!). Now I'm off to go tanning and run many other errands.
I am in a good mood, but have some minor stresses going on right now. I am just trying to focus on one thing at a time though and keep my cool... and it's working. Life is great.
Okay, over and out!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
no time to post
but I have to for the challenge. I was 136.0 this morning, so should be 135 tomorrow :) Mission accomplished, and my challenge ends tomorrow after work yay!
But my hunt for a dress continues, sigh.
But my hunt for a dress continues, sigh.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
...
So I was exactly 137.0 this morning, which means I'll be 136ish tomorrow, which means that if I behave tomorrow, I should be 135ish by Friday, for a grand total loss of 7 lbs during the entire challenge. More important is the 1 inch off my waist, since it proved that I was losing fat even when the scale wasn't budging, and I am definitely more toned and muscular.
I am off work tomorrow for a visit from a friend who lives in Sweden. I will try to stick to the diet at least for my breakfast and two snacks, but my other two meals may have to deviate (and I will deduct points for that). But I'll try to eat lightly so I still lose the weight needed for the bonus points, and since I'll be partying this weekend and surely putting back on a few.
Like I said, I might sort of extend the challenge alone by a week to get back into shape for the wedding next weekend. I still haven't found a dress, but tomorrow will be a big day of dress and shoe shopping!
Okay, off to a sculpt class in about an hour, then some much-needed downtime with my namorado...
I am off work tomorrow for a visit from a friend who lives in Sweden. I will try to stick to the diet at least for my breakfast and two snacks, but my other two meals may have to deviate (and I will deduct points for that). But I'll try to eat lightly so I still lose the weight needed for the bonus points, and since I'll be partying this weekend and surely putting back on a few.
Like I said, I might sort of extend the challenge alone by a week to get back into shape for the wedding next weekend. I still haven't found a dress, but tomorrow will be a big day of dress and shoe shopping!
Okay, off to a sculpt class in about an hour, then some much-needed downtime with my namorado...
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
:)
I was back to 137 this morning, which means (if I don't get my period right before weigh-in) that I will get to 135 by Friday.
In any case, yesterday I felt my body looked different, and great (though I tend to feel great about myself when PMSing, unlike most women). My abs, not just the middle ones, but the lower sides near my hip bones are becoming defined. This is the moment I've been waiting for: the days I will feel good walking around in a bikini on the beach, or playing beach volleyball in a short top, if I happen to feel like it. For now, I have some loose skin from the weight loss. Luckily, standing up you cannot tell that I have loose skin, it's only when I bend down, etc., which is why I'd avoid playing sports when everything will be jiggling around hahha! I will wait until I have firmed up.
I am considering even continuing with the diet for this challenge for a week after it ends. I am going away for a girls' weekend soon, and I will undoubtedly put on a few, so in order to stay the same size for whatever dress I buy for the wedding, it will be good to get back to the same weight as when I buy it...
Tonight I think I am going to a boxing class. Last night I played volleyball from 6:30-9:30... I will enjoy the challenge ending only because this is way too much working out, but for now I am liking what it's doing to my body. Next week I'll probably slim down a bit when I start running.
Okay peeeeepuul, have a great day! I am bracing myself for another horrible day, but just today and then it should all calm down :)
In any case, yesterday I felt my body looked different, and great (though I tend to feel great about myself when PMSing, unlike most women). My abs, not just the middle ones, but the lower sides near my hip bones are becoming defined. This is the moment I've been waiting for: the days I will feel good walking around in a bikini on the beach, or playing beach volleyball in a short top, if I happen to feel like it. For now, I have some loose skin from the weight loss. Luckily, standing up you cannot tell that I have loose skin, it's only when I bend down, etc., which is why I'd avoid playing sports when everything will be jiggling around hahha! I will wait until I have firmed up.
I am considering even continuing with the diet for this challenge for a week after it ends. I am going away for a girls' weekend soon, and I will undoubtedly put on a few, so in order to stay the same size for whatever dress I buy for the wedding, it will be good to get back to the same weight as when I buy it...
Tonight I think I am going to a boxing class. Last night I played volleyball from 6:30-9:30... I will enjoy the challenge ending only because this is way too much working out, but for now I am liking what it's doing to my body. Next week I'll probably slim down a bit when I start running.
Okay peeeeepuul, have a great day! I am bracing myself for another horrible day, but just today and then it should all calm down :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
good news
I may have started yesterday at 141 following my weekend off, the very same weight at which I've started every week of this challenge, BUT, I was 138.6 this morning already, which means one less annoying day (at 139), and one day closer to my original 136. It's really too bad I didn't even make it past 135, but it's nice getting close!
I need it because I am taking off on a cottage weekend Friday that will no doubt have the scale way up again, and I'll have to start over, outside the challenge. And Thursday I have a guest from Sweden here, and since I've taken the day off work, I might just accept meal penalties and eat out with her, but it will depend. I may be able to get in a couple "sanctioned" meals and just take a penalty for my lunch and/or dinner.
This week will be extremely chaotic, and my posts may end up brief and to-the-point. But I'll be back at it next week when things slow down. Have a great day off to most people, and a nice day at work to the others like me!
I need it because I am taking off on a cottage weekend Friday that will no doubt have the scale way up again, and I'll have to start over, outside the challenge. And Thursday I have a guest from Sweden here, and since I've taken the day off work, I might just accept meal penalties and eat out with her, but it will depend. I may be able to get in a couple "sanctioned" meals and just take a penalty for my lunch and/or dinner.
This week will be extremely chaotic, and my posts may end up brief and to-the-point. But I'll be back at it next week when things slow down. Have a great day off to most people, and a nice day at work to the others like me!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Bunnies and rainbows
Happy Easter! Or for those like me who are non-believers, happy cheap chocolate indulgence day!
For Erika the Ice Queen, my favourite are Cadbury Mini Eggs... or the Laura Secord dark chocolate bunny.
So all I am doing for easter is going for a jog with a friend, running errands at any place that happens to be open, and doing freelance work... My long weekend has been surprisingly relaxing even though I've been running around like a headless chicken. Alone time is a precious and rare commodity ces jours ci.
I'm still frustrated at my performance in this Game On challenge. I'm only in it half-heartedly, and everyone else is really into it. I am just waiting for it to be done. That is not good. That being said, I am not finding it very hard in itself, it's just watching everyone else get full points while I don't and yet I am working so hard... it's my competitive side that loses motivation easily.
In any case, motivated or not, I am doing it. I am kicking butt from a fitness perspective and going for a jog in about 15 minutes with a friend of mine. I did a sculpt class yesterday and tomorrow I'll be playing volleyball.
I have to get going since my buddy will be here shortly, so I should get ready! Happy eating!
For Erika the Ice Queen, my favourite are Cadbury Mini Eggs... or the Laura Secord dark chocolate bunny.
So all I am doing for easter is going for a jog with a friend, running errands at any place that happens to be open, and doing freelance work... My long weekend has been surprisingly relaxing even though I've been running around like a headless chicken. Alone time is a precious and rare commodity ces jours ci.
I'm still frustrated at my performance in this Game On challenge. I'm only in it half-heartedly, and everyone else is really into it. I am just waiting for it to be done. That is not good. That being said, I am not finding it very hard in itself, it's just watching everyone else get full points while I don't and yet I am working so hard... it's my competitive side that loses motivation easily.
In any case, motivated or not, I am doing it. I am kicking butt from a fitness perspective and going for a jog in about 15 minutes with a friend of mine. I did a sculpt class yesterday and tomorrow I'll be playing volleyball.
I have to get going since my buddy will be here shortly, so I should get ready! Happy eating!
Friday, April 22, 2011
my battle
So I didn't lose enough weight to get the bonus points, which basically boots my team out of the running, BUTTTTTTT, I took my measurements and I have made great progress in that department. I have lost 0.5 inches off my butt, thighs and neck, and a full inch off my waist. The rest remained the same, but if I continue to run I will lose more fat I am sure.
Overall I have lost 6 inches of my chest, hips and butt respectively, 1.5 off my neck, 3 off my ribs, 4.5 off my thighs and a whopping 7 inches off my waist. That all took about 1.25 years, and I am still going strong, stronger than ever. I am starting to become quite muscular, but in a very "soft" looking way, not over the top althletic. But I feel I need to lose a little bit more fat and gain a bit more muscle in certain areas. Now that I know my thighs can actually look much smaller, I'd like to fine tune these things. I've never felt better about my body, and I know the work pays off.
Today I will get some "administrative" stuff done on my day off, and tomorrow too, but I'll probably go check out Bestey Johnson dresses, and BCBG outlet tomorrow. I bought a stunning dress already, but I still want to just check other stores to see if I can find something more summery.
My boyfriend is away for the weekend, and I will be away next weekend, so it's important for me to get everything done now. My life is hectic, but I am managing well and it's hectic with social events and work, so that's nothing to complain about.
Okay, I'm rambling now. Have a great day everyone!
Overall I have lost 6 inches of my chest, hips and butt respectively, 1.5 off my neck, 3 off my ribs, 4.5 off my thighs and a whopping 7 inches off my waist. That all took about 1.25 years, and I am still going strong, stronger than ever. I am starting to become quite muscular, but in a very "soft" looking way, not over the top althletic. But I feel I need to lose a little bit more fat and gain a bit more muscle in certain areas. Now that I know my thighs can actually look much smaller, I'd like to fine tune these things. I've never felt better about my body, and I know the work pays off.
Today I will get some "administrative" stuff done on my day off, and tomorrow too, but I'll probably go check out Bestey Johnson dresses, and BCBG outlet tomorrow. I bought a stunning dress already, but I still want to just check other stores to see if I can find something more summery.
My boyfriend is away for the weekend, and I will be away next weekend, so it's important for me to get everything done now. My life is hectic, but I am managing well and it's hectic with social events and work, so that's nothing to complain about.
Okay, I'm rambling now. Have a great day everyone!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
ch-ch-changes!
Well, after all my griping about being at 140, I must point out a few positives. Thanks to a reminder from a previously unknown blog follower, Drazil (whose blog I will start to discover on the weekend), I have to be happy right now with what I've got.
First off, even though the scale is stuck roughly between 136-141 at any given point, my measurements have not changed. In fact, I am seeing muscles emerge that were previously non-existent, and I am much happier with my body these days. My bum and stomach and thighs (the bane of every woman's existence) are looking better and better thanks to the running.
The fact that I have achieved my mission of giving myself a body that would be prepared for any challenge, whether just fighting the common cold or running a marathon, is worthy of a pat on the back, and took a lot of very hard work. THAT, alone, was probably the toughest part of all this, but by far more fun than trying to lose fat by eating well hahah!
My eating habits are very healthy now, and even when I have such prized days off from this challenge, I don't overindulge like I may have done any day of the week before.
My mental health is much more under control, partly thanks to working out, eating and sleeping well, and partly due to having a new, loving and supportive relationship.
The scale is only controlling my thoughts at the moment because I know if I don't get the bonus points for losing 1% of my body weight this week, there is absolutely no chance of me and my friend winning haha! In theory, my mind would be at ease at 125-130 lbs, which would give me from 130-135 as a threshold for knowing when I need to ramp up my efforts over time, but if I can make it to 135 and hold that for a while, my body looks great here and I should just shut it and be happy.
I bought a "little black dress" today, and much to my amazement, it was a size 4. This, too, is fairly insignificant, especially since it's a stretchy dress, but the point is that I've made it, and the dress flatters my figure completely and is super sexy. I am so pleased. eeeee!
Sorry for going on and on loving myself, but I need to remind myself sometimes of what I am accomplishing, so that I slow down on being so hard on me.
Much courage to those killer ladies out there trying to lose 25, 50, 100 or 200 lbs... It takes great mental strength, sustained for life.
First off, even though the scale is stuck roughly between 136-141 at any given point, my measurements have not changed. In fact, I am seeing muscles emerge that were previously non-existent, and I am much happier with my body these days. My bum and stomach and thighs (the bane of every woman's existence) are looking better and better thanks to the running.
The fact that I have achieved my mission of giving myself a body that would be prepared for any challenge, whether just fighting the common cold or running a marathon, is worthy of a pat on the back, and took a lot of very hard work. THAT, alone, was probably the toughest part of all this, but by far more fun than trying to lose fat by eating well hahah!
My eating habits are very healthy now, and even when I have such prized days off from this challenge, I don't overindulge like I may have done any day of the week before.
My mental health is much more under control, partly thanks to working out, eating and sleeping well, and partly due to having a new, loving and supportive relationship.
The scale is only controlling my thoughts at the moment because I know if I don't get the bonus points for losing 1% of my body weight this week, there is absolutely no chance of me and my friend winning haha! In theory, my mind would be at ease at 125-130 lbs, which would give me from 130-135 as a threshold for knowing when I need to ramp up my efforts over time, but if I can make it to 135 and hold that for a while, my body looks great here and I should just shut it and be happy.
I bought a "little black dress" today, and much to my amazement, it was a size 4. This, too, is fairly insignificant, especially since it's a stretchy dress, but the point is that I've made it, and the dress flatters my figure completely and is super sexy. I am so pleased. eeeee!
Sorry for going on and on loving myself, but I need to remind myself sometimes of what I am accomplishing, so that I slow down on being so hard on me.
Much courage to those killer ladies out there trying to lose 25, 50, 100 or 200 lbs... It takes great mental strength, sustained for life.
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