Hairy and I completed our 10 km run in very cold wind and rain this morning, along with a friend of his. Our time wasn't great but we made it. And then we proceeded to eat 3 croissants each just so my body doesn't feel I am taking anything away from it of course, ha!
And that concludes week 6 of our 20-week training program. Now we begin the tougher, 14-week part... it gets harder each week, but I have felt prepared for just about every run, so I think this training plan is pretty good.
My weight had dropped a little and then went back up a teenie bit, but my body composition changed and I like what I see, so I am not so concerned about my weight. As long as I don't feel heavy running, I'm good.
Hairy and I are taking a week off together to cocoon and rest, run and get chores done. I wish I could go on a three-month sabbatical to somewhere hot hot hot... I miss Portugal's amazing September weather.
Later.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Cook like a muh-fuhhhh!
I forgot to tell you my biggest revelation of the year: Thug Kitchen. Or maybe I didn't forget and I'm repeating myself, but I just have to share it with the world (and the limited group of friends who read this blog and already know about it)...
The site is hilariously vulgar (though it can get a bit old), but do not let it phase you: the recipes are killer.
Thug Kitchen is a Tumblr page run by some thug(s) who are vegan and provide funny food memes that also contain the recipes for how to make the dishes shown. So far I've made the potato salad twice and the chickpea/brocoli burritos about three times I think. Hairy and I are minutes away from tasting the stuffed peppers now.
So if you're in need of mostly simple recipes that are effing tasty and healthy, go to http://thugkitchen.com/
Click on Archives at the bottom of the page and you'll then see a page full of small thumbnails. You can click on each one to see the funny description and find the recipe. Go effin' try it.
The site is hilariously vulgar (though it can get a bit old), but do not let it phase you: the recipes are killer.
Thug Kitchen is a Tumblr page run by some thug(s) who are vegan and provide funny food memes that also contain the recipes for how to make the dishes shown. So far I've made the potato salad twice and the chickpea/brocoli burritos about three times I think. Hairy and I are minutes away from tasting the stuffed peppers now.
So if you're in need of mostly simple recipes that are effing tasty and healthy, go to http://thugkitchen.com/
Click on Archives at the bottom of the page and you'll then see a page full of small thumbnails. You can click on each one to see the funny description and find the recipe. Go effin' try it.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Runnin' on empty
Finding the perfect state to run in is a challenge for me. I can't have eaten too soon before, nor can I be hungry. I cannot be too tired or sore. I prefer not to run after work and only like weather that's not too windy, cold, grey, wet or humid... when it's humid my knees ache. And above all, if I decide to go running, I must be out the door within 20 minutes or I will inevitably change my mind.
All that has changed though, or at least a lot of that. I have found the perfect routine for me. With Hairy and I doing this 20-week training program (we're ending week 3 this week), we run four days a week: twice on workdays, and twice on the weekend. For the workday runs, we get up at 5:30 am (most of these runs are between 25-40 minutes) and on the weekends, we get up whenever we want (usually 7:30) and usually end up running around 8 - 8:30 (the Saturday run is a short one and the Sunday run, a long one). I do not eat before, I just drink a big glass of water, or two for the long runs. I am really liking this routine and the challenge/goal will be to equip myself to run in ANY weather. Yesterday Hairy thought it was raining, and before looking outside and seeing that it wasn't, I thought, f%ck it, I'm runnin'!
I am finally adjusting to going to bed earlier I think, but so far I've been drowsy in the afternoon because of that.
I am losing weight again and am thrilled. While, like I've said, I originally thought I looked pretty good physically and would not bother losing any weight for the wedding, after seeing a picture of myself, I did not like what I saw. I decided five pounds would make the difference for me, so I am trying to continue eating well during the week (I usually do, but was falling back into the habit of giving myself 'treats' all the time like back in the day). On the weekends, Hairy and I had become pretty overindulgent too, so weekends are still our more relaxed days food-wise, but maybe cutting back on the quantity/variety of junk we allow ourselves (instead of eating fatty food for meals, croissants, mochas, ice cream, chocolate, chips and more, we will maybe choose one or two of those ha!). With the running we can definitely eat more calories and I would still lose weight, but the quality of the food will really influence how we feel about running.
Earlier in the year I had gotten up to a solid 147, and then with a bit of self-control and my 'normal' exercise routine was back to 145, where I felt okay. Now I am 143. I hope to actually get to about 135-137 BECAUSE I know that between Thanksgiving/Christmas and in the winter I will gain back a few, so the total will likely be 5 pounds come wedding time. My focus is actually on running though, and the weight is a welcome side effect of that. For now I just notice it in my chest and belly, but soon I should see a difference overall. Hairy said something to me that I found interesting, something his mom has always told him supposedly, and I found it true based on my experience: weight loss goes with gravity, so from top to bottom basically. Face/neck, chest/arms, belly, hips, butt then legs. I know it's true for me anyway.
My dad has lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks. I'm sure 5 of those are actual pounds and 5 is water weight, but it's fantastic. In my dad's case it's ALL food control, and he is a super dedicated person, but if you knew his eating habits you'd understand why this is pretty difficult for him. He would rather workout 24/7 than ever have to cut back, but I am really trying not to go extreme with him so over the next year his habits actually change in a lasting way. His problem's the same as mine: he gives himself treats all the time, in his case, it's fries and cookies. I really just had to get him to not get fries more than once a week and no bigger than a small, and that's pretty extreme for him. But he has one-upped me and has had NO fries in two weeks. I remind him that those decisions really do make a difference. Every small choice make the MASSIVE undertaking that much less difficult.
Beach volleyball is almost over. I have two more games. I'm sad because I hate the schedule of court volleyball (late), the distance, and it's just not as fun. I really wanna try to run outside as long as I can so I don't have to go to the gym all winter and get completely unmotivated like I did last year. It might turn out to be a real bitch, but it's interesting at least.
All that has changed though, or at least a lot of that. I have found the perfect routine for me. With Hairy and I doing this 20-week training program (we're ending week 3 this week), we run four days a week: twice on workdays, and twice on the weekend. For the workday runs, we get up at 5:30 am (most of these runs are between 25-40 minutes) and on the weekends, we get up whenever we want (usually 7:30) and usually end up running around 8 - 8:30 (the Saturday run is a short one and the Sunday run, a long one). I do not eat before, I just drink a big glass of water, or two for the long runs. I am really liking this routine and the challenge/goal will be to equip myself to run in ANY weather. Yesterday Hairy thought it was raining, and before looking outside and seeing that it wasn't, I thought, f%ck it, I'm runnin'!
I am finally adjusting to going to bed earlier I think, but so far I've been drowsy in the afternoon because of that.
I am losing weight again and am thrilled. While, like I've said, I originally thought I looked pretty good physically and would not bother losing any weight for the wedding, after seeing a picture of myself, I did not like what I saw. I decided five pounds would make the difference for me, so I am trying to continue eating well during the week (I usually do, but was falling back into the habit of giving myself 'treats' all the time like back in the day). On the weekends, Hairy and I had become pretty overindulgent too, so weekends are still our more relaxed days food-wise, but maybe cutting back on the quantity/variety of junk we allow ourselves (instead of eating fatty food for meals, croissants, mochas, ice cream, chocolate, chips and more, we will maybe choose one or two of those ha!). With the running we can definitely eat more calories and I would still lose weight, but the quality of the food will really influence how we feel about running.
Earlier in the year I had gotten up to a solid 147, and then with a bit of self-control and my 'normal' exercise routine was back to 145, where I felt okay. Now I am 143. I hope to actually get to about 135-137 BECAUSE I know that between Thanksgiving/Christmas and in the winter I will gain back a few, so the total will likely be 5 pounds come wedding time. My focus is actually on running though, and the weight is a welcome side effect of that. For now I just notice it in my chest and belly, but soon I should see a difference overall. Hairy said something to me that I found interesting, something his mom has always told him supposedly, and I found it true based on my experience: weight loss goes with gravity, so from top to bottom basically. Face/neck, chest/arms, belly, hips, butt then legs. I know it's true for me anyway.
My dad has lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks. I'm sure 5 of those are actual pounds and 5 is water weight, but it's fantastic. In my dad's case it's ALL food control, and he is a super dedicated person, but if you knew his eating habits you'd understand why this is pretty difficult for him. He would rather workout 24/7 than ever have to cut back, but I am really trying not to go extreme with him so over the next year his habits actually change in a lasting way. His problem's the same as mine: he gives himself treats all the time, in his case, it's fries and cookies. I really just had to get him to not get fries more than once a week and no bigger than a small, and that's pretty extreme for him. But he has one-upped me and has had NO fries in two weeks. I remind him that those decisions really do make a difference. Every small choice make the MASSIVE undertaking that much less difficult.
Beach volleyball is almost over. I have two more games. I'm sad because I hate the schedule of court volleyball (late), the distance, and it's just not as fun. I really wanna try to run outside as long as I can so I don't have to go to the gym all winter and get completely unmotivated like I did last year. It might turn out to be a real bitch, but it's interesting at least.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
It ain't easy bein' cheesy.
Don't ask me what that title refers to, I just felt like using it.
Week 3 of my half-marathon training program started today. I did it. Another 25-minute morning run. The bulk of the program consists of runs from 25-45 minutes long. I'm a little nervous for when I'll get to the 14-week component, but in the 6-week component (the first part of the training), the longest runs are 55 minutes and a test 10 km at the end, but I've done 10 km many times.
As for my dad's bootcamp... he's doing really, really well thanks to and in spite of my mother. My mom basically executes most of my "demands" (buying bread with no enriched anything in it, and using sea salt/fleur de sel instead of table salt / cutting portion sizes) since she is the head of the household. However, she disagrees with me that weighing himself every day is a good idea, so I'm having a hard time knowing if he's making progress. I kindly urged my dad to ignore my mom (not to sound condescending, but why do people so easily ignore the advice of people who have succeeded and instead listen to people around them who aren't in their shoes??!!).
I believe that if you are like me (and my dad and brother have the same food issues I do), it's important to weigh every day, as long as you do not let your weight define your outlook. Weight doesn't matter, it's how you feel and also how you look, but it does provide some indication as to whether you're moving in the right direction. I encourage him to take measurements once a week and weigh every day. This gives him a weekly focus, instead of trying to maintain his willpower for months on end with the goal so far into the future it's easy to lose track... Staying focused on little, everyday goals and victories helps you develop the habit of thinking "this choice DOES matter". So you may be less inclined to eat that little snack, in my dad's case fries, and carry on fighting to get to the finish line.
No matter how good it will be for your health, there are always people resisting the change. Even though my mom is fully enabling my dad's weight loss, in some ways she is also resisting (but I can feel her giving in). She also appeared to have some difficulty dealing with me losing weight too, but after years she is acting normal around me again. It's not just her. While so many random people were impressed or inspired or at least happy with what I was doing, just as many people have commented on my eating habits, exercise, weight, etc. I don't take it personally anymore because I know this happens to a lot of people for different reasons. The real issues are that people 1) project their insecurities onto you; 2) are resistant to change, even in another person; and/or 3) do not understand YOUR situation and the effort/dedication it takes to do the work every day. But that's part of the process for the person losing the weight... learning to do things for themselves and putting their own self-perception above the opinions of others: if you can feel proud of yourself, you don't feel so bad when people bring you down.
These are all things I've said over and over but it's still true. In my case, things have changed because the people around me, and I, too, have gotten used to me as a less large person. Now I am seeing the same things happen with other people who try to get in better shape and it's obviously easier to see what's really happening.
Okay, so on another note, here are the many instructions I've given my dad to date, and he's decided his cheat days will be whenever he is invited to someone's house. Bear in mind, he exercises like crazy so I don't tell him what to do in that respect:
No pop (soft drinks)
No more cookies/scones at his pickleball games
If he buys fries, ONLY once a week and only a small
No more than a pinch of salt on his food (I recommended he use fleur de sel, which goes further with less)
Homemade salad dressings only
Smaller portion sizes
Replace salted nuts with plain nuts for snacks
Eat fruit instead of drinking juice
Drink more water
Weigh-ins once a day at same time / measurements 1xweek
Eat as many veggies as you like (apart from avocado and cut back on bananas)
Natural PB and a more natural jam
Bread with no enriched ingredients
He's lost a few pounds already and I'm pretty proud. :)
Week 3 of my half-marathon training program started today. I did it. Another 25-minute morning run. The bulk of the program consists of runs from 25-45 minutes long. I'm a little nervous for when I'll get to the 14-week component, but in the 6-week component (the first part of the training), the longest runs are 55 minutes and a test 10 km at the end, but I've done 10 km many times.
As for my dad's bootcamp... he's doing really, really well thanks to and in spite of my mother. My mom basically executes most of my "demands" (buying bread with no enriched anything in it, and using sea salt/fleur de sel instead of table salt / cutting portion sizes) since she is the head of the household. However, she disagrees with me that weighing himself every day is a good idea, so I'm having a hard time knowing if he's making progress. I kindly urged my dad to ignore my mom (not to sound condescending, but why do people so easily ignore the advice of people who have succeeded and instead listen to people around them who aren't in their shoes??!!).
I believe that if you are like me (and my dad and brother have the same food issues I do), it's important to weigh every day, as long as you do not let your weight define your outlook. Weight doesn't matter, it's how you feel and also how you look, but it does provide some indication as to whether you're moving in the right direction. I encourage him to take measurements once a week and weigh every day. This gives him a weekly focus, instead of trying to maintain his willpower for months on end with the goal so far into the future it's easy to lose track... Staying focused on little, everyday goals and victories helps you develop the habit of thinking "this choice DOES matter". So you may be less inclined to eat that little snack, in my dad's case fries, and carry on fighting to get to the finish line.
No matter how good it will be for your health, there are always people resisting the change. Even though my mom is fully enabling my dad's weight loss, in some ways she is also resisting (but I can feel her giving in). She also appeared to have some difficulty dealing with me losing weight too, but after years she is acting normal around me again. It's not just her. While so many random people were impressed or inspired or at least happy with what I was doing, just as many people have commented on my eating habits, exercise, weight, etc. I don't take it personally anymore because I know this happens to a lot of people for different reasons. The real issues are that people 1) project their insecurities onto you; 2) are resistant to change, even in another person; and/or 3) do not understand YOUR situation and the effort/dedication it takes to do the work every day. But that's part of the process for the person losing the weight... learning to do things for themselves and putting their own self-perception above the opinions of others: if you can feel proud of yourself, you don't feel so bad when people bring you down.
These are all things I've said over and over but it's still true. In my case, things have changed because the people around me, and I, too, have gotten used to me as a less large person. Now I am seeing the same things happen with other people who try to get in better shape and it's obviously easier to see what's really happening.
Okay, so on another note, here are the many instructions I've given my dad to date, and he's decided his cheat days will be whenever he is invited to someone's house. Bear in mind, he exercises like crazy so I don't tell him what to do in that respect:
No pop (soft drinks)
No more cookies/scones at his pickleball games
If he buys fries, ONLY once a week and only a small
No more than a pinch of salt on his food (I recommended he use fleur de sel, which goes further with less)
Homemade salad dressings only
Smaller portion sizes
Replace salted nuts with plain nuts for snacks
Eat fruit instead of drinking juice
Drink more water
Weigh-ins once a day at same time / measurements 1xweek
Eat as many veggies as you like (apart from avocado and cut back on bananas)
Natural PB and a more natural jam
Bread with no enriched ingredients
He's lost a few pounds already and I'm pretty proud. :)
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Yaaaaawn.
Hi! How are you?
I am feeling like I own the friggin universe right now because guess who got up at 5:30 am for a jog... I did!
Also, Hairy and I are engaged. :)
He wants to train for a half marathon, and since it's the journey and not the destination that counts, I decided to train with him. So far I'm on Day 2 of the program we chose, and he's been sick so is behind me by one training but will surely catch up and then zoom past me.
My dad and his mom want to lose weight for our wedding, and I think that's fantastic, so I decided to put my dad through my kind of bootcamp, the easy kind! Every week I call him and give him one or two things to change. This week it's no alcohol (since he hardly likes it anyway), no pop (soda for non-Ontarians out there), and no cookies at pickleball. If you don't know what pickleball is then look it up on Youtube, it's an awesome sport invented by old folks in Florida.
Gotta run, but happy to report all's well in my fitness world, and wedding planning, so far, is a blast.
I am feeling like I own the friggin universe right now because guess who got up at 5:30 am for a jog... I did!
Also, Hairy and I are engaged. :)
He wants to train for a half marathon, and since it's the journey and not the destination that counts, I decided to train with him. So far I'm on Day 2 of the program we chose, and he's been sick so is behind me by one training but will surely catch up and then zoom past me.
My dad and his mom want to lose weight for our wedding, and I think that's fantastic, so I decided to put my dad through my kind of bootcamp, the easy kind! Every week I call him and give him one or two things to change. This week it's no alcohol (since he hardly likes it anyway), no pop (soda for non-Ontarians out there), and no cookies at pickleball. If you don't know what pickleball is then look it up on Youtube, it's an awesome sport invented by old folks in Florida.
Gotta run, but happy to report all's well in my fitness world, and wedding planning, so far, is a blast.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Hello-lo-lo-lo-ooo
That's supposed to sound like me yelling out into the void.
I took some time off work this week. I only needed a day or two off for my friend's wedding, which was an amazing weekend, but I actually felt like I needed two weeks off from work. I will have had a total of 12 days off by the time I go back on Monday (there are two long weekends in a row here, so I only technically took 1 week off), but I want another week :) I am loving my time being at home.
While I was at my parents' house for the wedding, I ate a LOT, and a LOT of junky foods. I went for one short run with Hairy and that was all. But since I have been back, apart from ice cream I have been eating well and I have run two days in a row (I will run today and plan to run every day til Monday). I played volleyball, rode my bike there, and keep looking for things to do. I just finished season 6 of Criminal Minds and will start watching the seventh today... I had time to go to the local market for fruits/veg, have a BBQ, spend time on my newly equipped balcony (chairs, table, BBQ were my birthday present to me this year). All in all, I'm doing a lot and nothing at the same time. I also plan to take kayaking lessons. You basically learn everything in one lesson, so I'll likely do that next Sunday and then I'll be able to go out on the canal near my place and kayak whenever!! I already know what next year's birthday gift to me will be: a kayak! That is, if I still live in a place very close to the canal of course (without a car it will be tough lugging a kayak around town ha!).
Life is otherwise good. Someone made an offer on my condo and as far as the law is concerned, it's now binding and they will be scheduling an appointment with the notary any day now. When I leave the notary's office I think I will cry out of relief... That was the last remnant of my last relationship and I cannot wait to officially start fresh. Of course he and I will still have to deal with the bank afterward, but we'll cross that [I forget the word in this expression] when we come to it.
My weight is up and down by a bit, but I continue to work on it. I would theoretically like to be 140 and right now I'm probably 146, but I'm not going mad over it, just doing what I can when I can, but also indulging in gelato and such. I need to put my foot down at some point, but I think now's not the time :)
I took some time off work this week. I only needed a day or two off for my friend's wedding, which was an amazing weekend, but I actually felt like I needed two weeks off from work. I will have had a total of 12 days off by the time I go back on Monday (there are two long weekends in a row here, so I only technically took 1 week off), but I want another week :) I am loving my time being at home.
While I was at my parents' house for the wedding, I ate a LOT, and a LOT of junky foods. I went for one short run with Hairy and that was all. But since I have been back, apart from ice cream I have been eating well and I have run two days in a row (I will run today and plan to run every day til Monday). I played volleyball, rode my bike there, and keep looking for things to do. I just finished season 6 of Criminal Minds and will start watching the seventh today... I had time to go to the local market for fruits/veg, have a BBQ, spend time on my newly equipped balcony (chairs, table, BBQ were my birthday present to me this year). All in all, I'm doing a lot and nothing at the same time. I also plan to take kayaking lessons. You basically learn everything in one lesson, so I'll likely do that next Sunday and then I'll be able to go out on the canal near my place and kayak whenever!! I already know what next year's birthday gift to me will be: a kayak! That is, if I still live in a place very close to the canal of course (without a car it will be tough lugging a kayak around town ha!).
Life is otherwise good. Someone made an offer on my condo and as far as the law is concerned, it's now binding and they will be scheduling an appointment with the notary any day now. When I leave the notary's office I think I will cry out of relief... That was the last remnant of my last relationship and I cannot wait to officially start fresh. Of course he and I will still have to deal with the bank afterward, but we'll cross that [I forget the word in this expression] when we come to it.
My weight is up and down by a bit, but I continue to work on it. I would theoretically like to be 140 and right now I'm probably 146, but I'm not going mad over it, just doing what I can when I can, but also indulging in gelato and such. I need to put my foot down at some point, but I think now's not the time :)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Vrooom!
I ended up signing up for that second 5 km after all, thanks to Hairy's encouragement and favourable circumstances (the having of a car to get to Rosemere mainly). I did it. Ultimately, I am just happy to have done it. BUUUUUT, then Hairy and I checked our times. During the run, I felt great, and MUCH better than I did two years ago during the same race. My time though was 31:22 or something, while two years about it was 28 something...IM-POS-SIBLE (French accent). Je ne comprends rien. Whatevs, I did it.
Feels good to be running again. Oh and I ended up doing that juice-only diet for 5 straight days and felt fantastic. I ate a lotta solid food yesterday and will do one more 5-day juice diet this week. My skin looks fantastic compared to before and I just really needed a break from the routine I'd developed.
Gotta shower and get ready for my open house, eee.
Feels good to be running again. Oh and I ended up doing that juice-only diet for 5 straight days and felt fantastic. I ate a lotta solid food yesterday and will do one more 5-day juice diet this week. My skin looks fantastic compared to before and I just really needed a break from the routine I'd developed.
Gotta shower and get ready for my open house, eee.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...
Hi everyone.
I thought I'd take advantage of the fact I've been wide awake since 6:30 and my man is still fast asleep, and the fact it's pouring buckets outside, to catch up on blogging. The timing is good too since I just accomplished something that, to me, is super awesome.
When I last wrote, I can't remember where I was in terms of my physical/mental state, but lately I've been running or playing vball when I can, though the weather has been working against me. I kept running knowing that I had a 5 km race coming up and would be horribly embarrassed if I couldn't complete that. I was a little worried because my last few runs I couldn't get to 5 km, even though it's generally easy to do. But come race day, I felt ready.
I just happened to have started a juicing "diet" (not so much a diet as adding some homemade natural veg/fruit juices to my regular diet for Friday and Saturday, and possibly only juice for a few days. I just needed to do something different to feel like I am starting fresh. But man did it pay off! I had my first juice Friday night with dinner, then I had two juices around breakfast before going to run. I felt good but nothing more.
The original plan for the race was that my team would run the 5 km, and then those who wanted to could run an extra 5 km back to my friend's place, who happens to live two blocks from me. I figured I'd see on the day of whether I felt up to it, but I haven't been able to run even close to 10 km this year, and 10 km is the most I've ever run, so I was likely not to join for the second part.
So... the race went well, but I find races hard in general since you don't have a good idea when it'll end. Since 5 km is only about 25-30 mins of jogging though, I knew it couldn't go on forever :). It was about 38 celsius with the humidity, so it was a tough one. But after resting for 5-7 minutes post-race to drink water, have our team picture taken, I suddenly decided I did in fact have the energy to run some more.
Everyone else bailed, but I decided, f%& it, I will run home. Long story short, I didn't exactly know where I was going, so that extra 5 km actually turned into an extra 8.5 km, and about 20 minutes in I was thinking I had made a bad decision, but I committed to my choice and never stopped running, making it home within the hour, for a grand total of 13.5 KM!!! The most I have ever ran. I did get a 5 minute rest in between, but I still consider it a huge accomplishment as I couldn't come close to even 6 or 7 km this year.
Today I begin my juice-only thingy and am feeling so energetic already. I am WIDE awake and just waiting for the man to wake up so I can use the juicer (it is very loud).
Have a great day everyone and keep at it, trust me, it's worth it.
I thought I'd take advantage of the fact I've been wide awake since 6:30 and my man is still fast asleep, and the fact it's pouring buckets outside, to catch up on blogging. The timing is good too since I just accomplished something that, to me, is super awesome.
When I last wrote, I can't remember where I was in terms of my physical/mental state, but lately I've been running or playing vball when I can, though the weather has been working against me. I kept running knowing that I had a 5 km race coming up and would be horribly embarrassed if I couldn't complete that. I was a little worried because my last few runs I couldn't get to 5 km, even though it's generally easy to do. But come race day, I felt ready.
I just happened to have started a juicing "diet" (not so much a diet as adding some homemade natural veg/fruit juices to my regular diet for Friday and Saturday, and possibly only juice for a few days. I just needed to do something different to feel like I am starting fresh. But man did it pay off! I had my first juice Friday night with dinner, then I had two juices around breakfast before going to run. I felt good but nothing more.
The original plan for the race was that my team would run the 5 km, and then those who wanted to could run an extra 5 km back to my friend's place, who happens to live two blocks from me. I figured I'd see on the day of whether I felt up to it, but I haven't been able to run even close to 10 km this year, and 10 km is the most I've ever run, so I was likely not to join for the second part.
So... the race went well, but I find races hard in general since you don't have a good idea when it'll end. Since 5 km is only about 25-30 mins of jogging though, I knew it couldn't go on forever :). It was about 38 celsius with the humidity, so it was a tough one. But after resting for 5-7 minutes post-race to drink water, have our team picture taken, I suddenly decided I did in fact have the energy to run some more.
Everyone else bailed, but I decided, f%& it, I will run home. Long story short, I didn't exactly know where I was going, so that extra 5 km actually turned into an extra 8.5 km, and about 20 minutes in I was thinking I had made a bad decision, but I committed to my choice and never stopped running, making it home within the hour, for a grand total of 13.5 KM!!! The most I have ever ran. I did get a 5 minute rest in between, but I still consider it a huge accomplishment as I couldn't come close to even 6 or 7 km this year.
Today I begin my juice-only thingy and am feeling so energetic already. I am WIDE awake and just waiting for the man to wake up so I can use the juicer (it is very loud).
Have a great day everyone and keep at it, trust me, it's worth it.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
again, still here.
Hi readers!
I have still been running with some frequency, but I have had little time to post since my only Internet time outside of work has been spent posting listings/ads for my condo now that I dropped my agent, and doing freelance works. I got to translate not one, but two good friends' company websites and it's so much nicer than corporate junk I usually work on (though I do have a 'thing' for occupational health and safety related corporate documents, but don't ask me why).
I will soon be revising a master's level law thesis, now THAT will be less fun :)
So I am completely focused on selling my place before July1, the arbitrary day on which all people in QC moves in hoardes, out of their apartments and into others. That is THE hot date in the real estate industry, so they say. Still after 6 years of living here I find two things about the QC rental housing system absurd: that most people take their fridge/stove with them AND that everyone would rather move on the same day, jacking up the prices of everything and minimizing availability (trucks, boxes, movers). In any case, it's a race against time for me...
I have still been running with some frequency, but I have had little time to post since my only Internet time outside of work has been spent posting listings/ads for my condo now that I dropped my agent, and doing freelance works. I got to translate not one, but two good friends' company websites and it's so much nicer than corporate junk I usually work on (though I do have a 'thing' for occupational health and safety related corporate documents, but don't ask me why).
I will soon be revising a master's level law thesis, now THAT will be less fun :)
So I am completely focused on selling my place before July1, the arbitrary day on which all people in QC moves in hoardes, out of their apartments and into others. That is THE hot date in the real estate industry, so they say. Still after 6 years of living here I find two things about the QC rental housing system absurd: that most people take their fridge/stove with them AND that everyone would rather move on the same day, jacking up the prices of everything and minimizing availability (trucks, boxes, movers). In any case, it's a race against time for me...
Thursday, May 2, 2013
a successful week
Not much time to scribble, but just wanted to say that I ran five times over the past week, for a total of roughly 25 km. I think I'll be fine for my June 1 charity run, but I'm trying to make a habit of 5 km so I can start advancing to my former 10 km runs. For now I'm just happy to be getting out there, getting sunshine and getting back in shape.
Hairy got a new job!! It's a great move forward for him and I'm also happy about the better schedule. Eeee.
My Portuguese classes ended this week, so I will have to push myself to practice until next October. Hopefully I will win the trip to the Azores that I have entered to win through the school.
Have a great day!
Hairy got a new job!! It's a great move forward for him and I'm also happy about the better schedule. Eeee.
My Portuguese classes ended this week, so I will have to push myself to practice until next October. Hopefully I will win the trip to the Azores that I have entered to win through the school.
Have a great day!
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Brace yourself, it's about to get hokey in here!
Have you ever felt complete and utter freedom? Some people feel it when they do extreme sports, though neither bungee nor skydiving had that particular effect on me, but rather a sense of peace and admiration at the natural setting into which I was plunging.
Today, for about 1 minute, I had an overwhelming sense of freedom. I woke up at about 7:30, telling myself I had to go running 1) because it is beautiful outside, 2) because I have a million things to do and if I don't do it now I never will, and 3) because it's the only way to calm my mind so I can just start doing all those chores. So, I did all my preparations (eating a very small amount of food, this time a slice of cheese, drinking some water, etc.) and then head out for a somewhat unwelcome run.
About 10 minutes in, I was alone running along the canal and bam! Like that, I felt "this is freedom." I felt what I probably should feel (and be so grateful for) every day. The sense of security, safety, peace so many people never have the luxury of feeling. The sense of well-being that comes with having loving people in your life, a good job, a healthy body and a home.
Alright, alright, enough with that cheesy stuff. So yeah, I hauled ass and ran anout 35 minutes (roughly 5 km) and even stopped at a nearby park for 3 pull ups... though the hipster walking her dog was looking at me confusedly, so I felt awkward and left. Otherwise, I might have done some pushups and other stuff.
It's still a pain in the ass (in my mind) to get myself to workout, BUT, I also still enjoy it when I'm doing it. I can't wait for beach volleyball to start back up.
I have to go take a shower. I am eating last night's dinner for breakfast, since I'll need some fuel to get through a day of shopping. It's quite good:
Quinoa salad with walnuts, dried cranberries, spinach, salt, pepper, orange juice and olive oil. The original recipe called for thyme and pecans instead of walnuts, but I used what we had, and threw in some spinach for good measure. Oh and orange zest... that makes a big difference, can't forget that!
Today, for about 1 minute, I had an overwhelming sense of freedom. I woke up at about 7:30, telling myself I had to go running 1) because it is beautiful outside, 2) because I have a million things to do and if I don't do it now I never will, and 3) because it's the only way to calm my mind so I can just start doing all those chores. So, I did all my preparations (eating a very small amount of food, this time a slice of cheese, drinking some water, etc.) and then head out for a somewhat unwelcome run.
About 10 minutes in, I was alone running along the canal and bam! Like that, I felt "this is freedom." I felt what I probably should feel (and be so grateful for) every day. The sense of security, safety, peace so many people never have the luxury of feeling. The sense of well-being that comes with having loving people in your life, a good job, a healthy body and a home.
Alright, alright, enough with that cheesy stuff. So yeah, I hauled ass and ran anout 35 minutes (roughly 5 km) and even stopped at a nearby park for 3 pull ups... though the hipster walking her dog was looking at me confusedly, so I felt awkward and left. Otherwise, I might have done some pushups and other stuff.
It's still a pain in the ass (in my mind) to get myself to workout, BUT, I also still enjoy it when I'm doing it. I can't wait for beach volleyball to start back up.
I have to go take a shower. I am eating last night's dinner for breakfast, since I'll need some fuel to get through a day of shopping. It's quite good:
Quinoa salad with walnuts, dried cranberries, spinach, salt, pepper, orange juice and olive oil. The original recipe called for thyme and pecans instead of walnuts, but I used what we had, and threw in some spinach for good measure. Oh and orange zest... that makes a big difference, can't forget that!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
I can't believe it took me this long to post
I'm having troubles with procrastination lately. Too many things on my mind, so everything shuts down and all I wanna do is sleep or watch TV. Don't get me wrong, I am still doing a lot of stuff all the time, but the stuff that requires full consciousness is much less appealing these days.
With my promotion, I find that I am simply exhausted at the end of most days. It's not physical fatigue, but mental. I absorb a lot of the problems and have to stay focused on the solution. I do finish every day feeling like I accomplished something though, so it's a rewarding kind of feeling too. The days go by quickly, but more intensely than before and it takes all my energy to keep breathing and moving forward, not letting the moments of stress cloud the "bigger picture." I wish this were as easy for me to do in my personal life as it is for me at work.
In any case, all this to say I am sorry for not blogging for so long.
I have signed up for two, count em', two 5 km races in June. The first one also includes an additional 5 km run from the site to a friend's place who lives near me. I signed up to really give myself a push to run more regularly. It worked: I got home yesterday exhausted, but put on my gear and went for a 30 minute run around my hood.
The other day I did George St-Pierre's workout video Rushfit and was aching for 2 days. I think I'll start doing that one once a week.
I don't have time to say much else except that I am not pleased with myself in terms of exercise, but am walking more. Food hasn't been too great either, but I am still here, still trying.
With my promotion, I find that I am simply exhausted at the end of most days. It's not physical fatigue, but mental. I absorb a lot of the problems and have to stay focused on the solution. I do finish every day feeling like I accomplished something though, so it's a rewarding kind of feeling too. The days go by quickly, but more intensely than before and it takes all my energy to keep breathing and moving forward, not letting the moments of stress cloud the "bigger picture." I wish this were as easy for me to do in my personal life as it is for me at work.
In any case, all this to say I am sorry for not blogging for so long.
I have signed up for two, count em', two 5 km races in June. The first one also includes an additional 5 km run from the site to a friend's place who lives near me. I signed up to really give myself a push to run more regularly. It worked: I got home yesterday exhausted, but put on my gear and went for a 30 minute run around my hood.
The other day I did George St-Pierre's workout video Rushfit and was aching for 2 days. I think I'll start doing that one once a week.
I don't have time to say much else except that I am not pleased with myself in terms of exercise, but am walking more. Food hasn't been too great either, but I am still here, still trying.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Spring in my step and short-lived dreams
Happy Easter, Pasqua, Pacques, Pesa!
I am celebrating by finally taking the time to do my nails, eating a Magnolia Bakery red velvet cupcake and getting ready to go to Hairy's grandparents' house for Easter lunch/dinner... a Portuguese feast of deliciousness.
The weather has been beautiful lately, so I took advantage to finally get some air and light exercise this weekend. I was down to 140-141 lbs this morning thanks to losing muscle from being in bed all the time. It's a good thing since I feel lighter, but I've been eating whatever I want because I don't like the feeling of losing weight and feeling weaker. Now I will slowly start getting active again. Hairy and I made a deal to run together once each weekend now that the weather's nice. In addition to volleyball (starting in May) this will keep me much more motivated, and I wont mind going to the gym a couple times a week in between.
In food news, the ever impossible task of importing a half dozen cupcakes from NYC for my personal enjoyment was achieved at long last by my friend and former manager who shall be named Foodie for blogging purposes. As a fellow food-obsessor, she truly understands where this need for the cupcakes comes from and was able to deliver the goods. I am sad that Magnolia Bakery changed the icing for the red velvet, but their cupcakes are still the best. I can only chock it up to the fact they have found the perfect icing to cake ratio, and their cake is always soft, fluffy yet dense enough to feel rich. Every other cupcake place I have tried has one good one maybe, but none have managed to achieve this level of cupcakey perfection. I don't really like cupcakes apart from theirs, and a couple of random ones from various locations.
Yesterday I walked 10 km in total. First walking around my hood with Foodie, then walking around another hood with another friend, let's call her Noblet. After walking with Noblet, I walked back home from downtown, and took some time to take side streets and check out a park I'd been meaning to have a look at. In fact, Hairy is looking for some outdoor basketball courts that would be usable for his team or for his own practice. We found one close to home, but when we went to play, it was still covered in slushy snow. We had decided to go buy a shovel and remove the snow ourselves, but ended up stopping for lunch and lost our motivation. Since then though, I have found two other snowless courts, so it's good we didn't waste our time. Soon Hairy and I will go head to head on the courts, where he will witness me butchering his favourite sport. I may have been born athletic and raised to play all sports, but basketball is my worst by a long shot. I was known as Airball in elementary school, which is the last time I ever really played, obviously.
As I walked around those side streets, in an area that I foresee being the place of my future home, I found the street I would LOVE to live on. It had colourful, well-maintained duplexes that this city is known for, but hidden away among many less beautiful streets. For a brief moment, I thought I had found my future street and let my imagination wander. Then, I got home and looked up the homes that are for sale there, and my dreams were dashed. There is no way I would be able to afford a home there anytime in the next 10 years, so that's out. Fortunately, for now, the other less beautiful streets still have many reasonably priced homes. I guess I'll have to just walk that street and dream...
I am celebrating by finally taking the time to do my nails, eating a Magnolia Bakery red velvet cupcake and getting ready to go to Hairy's grandparents' house for Easter lunch/dinner... a Portuguese feast of deliciousness.
The weather has been beautiful lately, so I took advantage to finally get some air and light exercise this weekend. I was down to 140-141 lbs this morning thanks to losing muscle from being in bed all the time. It's a good thing since I feel lighter, but I've been eating whatever I want because I don't like the feeling of losing weight and feeling weaker. Now I will slowly start getting active again. Hairy and I made a deal to run together once each weekend now that the weather's nice. In addition to volleyball (starting in May) this will keep me much more motivated, and I wont mind going to the gym a couple times a week in between.
In food news, the ever impossible task of importing a half dozen cupcakes from NYC for my personal enjoyment was achieved at long last by my friend and former manager who shall be named Foodie for blogging purposes. As a fellow food-obsessor, she truly understands where this need for the cupcakes comes from and was able to deliver the goods. I am sad that Magnolia Bakery changed the icing for the red velvet, but their cupcakes are still the best. I can only chock it up to the fact they have found the perfect icing to cake ratio, and their cake is always soft, fluffy yet dense enough to feel rich. Every other cupcake place I have tried has one good one maybe, but none have managed to achieve this level of cupcakey perfection. I don't really like cupcakes apart from theirs, and a couple of random ones from various locations.
Yesterday I walked 10 km in total. First walking around my hood with Foodie, then walking around another hood with another friend, let's call her Noblet. After walking with Noblet, I walked back home from downtown, and took some time to take side streets and check out a park I'd been meaning to have a look at. In fact, Hairy is looking for some outdoor basketball courts that would be usable for his team or for his own practice. We found one close to home, but when we went to play, it was still covered in slushy snow. We had decided to go buy a shovel and remove the snow ourselves, but ended up stopping for lunch and lost our motivation. Since then though, I have found two other snowless courts, so it's good we didn't waste our time. Soon Hairy and I will go head to head on the courts, where he will witness me butchering his favourite sport. I may have been born athletic and raised to play all sports, but basketball is my worst by a long shot. I was known as Airball in elementary school, which is the last time I ever really played, obviously.
As I walked around those side streets, in an area that I foresee being the place of my future home, I found the street I would LOVE to live on. It had colourful, well-maintained duplexes that this city is known for, but hidden away among many less beautiful streets. For a brief moment, I thought I had found my future street and let my imagination wander. Then, I got home and looked up the homes that are for sale there, and my dreams were dashed. There is no way I would be able to afford a home there anytime in the next 10 years, so that's out. Fortunately, for now, the other less beautiful streets still have many reasonably priced homes. I guess I'll have to just walk that street and dream...
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Checking in and checking out
Hi friends.
I am just providing a brief update so you can know I have a valid excuse for my absence.
After the food poisoning and finally getting back into shape, I caught a horrendous flu. Think skin pain, muscle aches, fever, chest congestion. When all of that started to fade and I went back to work after 4 days off, I ended up leaving early again with a wicked pain in my ear and sinuses. It worsened and I was an emotional wreck by the time I got home. Throughout the night I kept taking Tylenol for the pain and I could no longer hear out my right ear.
When I woke up this morning to a sudden feeling of relief from some of the pressure in my face, I realized there was fresh blood in my ear. I decided it was time to go to the doctor.
Turns out I have developed a severe ear infection that burst and am now on antibiotics. I have never taken so many vitamins, supplements and pharmaceuticals in my life I think. I generally don't get sick much, or when I do it is super intense and quick. This is dragging and keeps changing from one awful symptom to the next. I am relieved to know these antiobiotics will allow me to hear again soon and not relive the stigmata for Easter.
Thankfully, my boyfriend, who is also not well, has been doing a lot to take care of me, since there were a few days where I was non-functional.
I wont be back at the gym probably for another week or more given that my lungs are still so congested. I do hope to start moving more since 5 days in a tiny apartment are enough to make me insane.
I am just providing a brief update so you can know I have a valid excuse for my absence.
After the food poisoning and finally getting back into shape, I caught a horrendous flu. Think skin pain, muscle aches, fever, chest congestion. When all of that started to fade and I went back to work after 4 days off, I ended up leaving early again with a wicked pain in my ear and sinuses. It worsened and I was an emotional wreck by the time I got home. Throughout the night I kept taking Tylenol for the pain and I could no longer hear out my right ear.
When I woke up this morning to a sudden feeling of relief from some of the pressure in my face, I realized there was fresh blood in my ear. I decided it was time to go to the doctor.
Turns out I have developed a severe ear infection that burst and am now on antibiotics. I have never taken so many vitamins, supplements and pharmaceuticals in my life I think. I generally don't get sick much, or when I do it is super intense and quick. This is dragging and keeps changing from one awful symptom to the next. I am relieved to know these antiobiotics will allow me to hear again soon and not relive the stigmata for Easter.
Thankfully, my boyfriend, who is also not well, has been doing a lot to take care of me, since there were a few days where I was non-functional.
I wont be back at the gym probably for another week or more given that my lungs are still so congested. I do hope to start moving more since 5 days in a tiny apartment are enough to make me insane.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
In a new light
Since last weekend things have been good. I got to sub on volleyball teams twice, for early games no less. I was surprisingly good despite months off the sport. I sure was in pain afterward though, but it's a worthwhile kind of pain.
My weight is dropping. I am currently at 144, but again, I have made weight loss only a secondary objective. My main goal is now to be more active, and in that, I am succeeding. In addition to making healthier food choices in general, I now walk every day at lunch again, which has more benefits overall than volleyball or the gym I think. It energizes me, which makes me able to do all the other stuff.
This week I walked a bunch of places: to appointments, to class, home, to pick up produce, etc. Yesterday, since it was so beautiful outside, I went for a long, leisurely walk of about 1.5-2 hours in total I believe. My butt is thanking me by turning upward again and my stomach is getting flatter. People truly underestimate how effective walking is as an exercise, as long as you do a lot of it scattered throughout the day.
Aside: Here's an interesting read about yet another dodgy industry: http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/03/08/f-vp-crowe-big-sugar.html
Aaaand, back to me.
So, as I told you a few weeks ago, I have been taking Evening Primrose Oil and waiting to see what kind of effect it will have on me. So my short-term report is that it makes me sleep soundly, which was an unanticipated but enjoyable side effect, and it definitely lessened the bloating/cramps I typically get just before and after Aunt Flo arrives. The primary reason I am taking it though is to see if it will make me more regular (so that, in turn, I can better predict/manage my emotional state at specific times in my cycle). I will only know if it's working after about three cycles, so I'll keep you posted.
Walking = feeling more energetic = less down about eating well/exercising (more into it = doing more of it) = weight loss and better overall mood. All that combined with putting less pressure on myself is a good thing. I have to remember that the VERY FIRST thing that made me able to lose all that weight years ago was when I decided to stop with the guilt over being fat, eating garbage and being lazy. To let go of the negative thinking and instead focus on doing something about it. And THAT is something to feel good about.
My weight is dropping. I am currently at 144, but again, I have made weight loss only a secondary objective. My main goal is now to be more active, and in that, I am succeeding. In addition to making healthier food choices in general, I now walk every day at lunch again, which has more benefits overall than volleyball or the gym I think. It energizes me, which makes me able to do all the other stuff.
This week I walked a bunch of places: to appointments, to class, home, to pick up produce, etc. Yesterday, since it was so beautiful outside, I went for a long, leisurely walk of about 1.5-2 hours in total I believe. My butt is thanking me by turning upward again and my stomach is getting flatter. People truly underestimate how effective walking is as an exercise, as long as you do a lot of it scattered throughout the day.
Aside: Here's an interesting read about yet another dodgy industry: http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/03/08/f-vp-crowe-big-sugar.html
Aaaand, back to me.
So, as I told you a few weeks ago, I have been taking Evening Primrose Oil and waiting to see what kind of effect it will have on me. So my short-term report is that it makes me sleep soundly, which was an unanticipated but enjoyable side effect, and it definitely lessened the bloating/cramps I typically get just before and after Aunt Flo arrives. The primary reason I am taking it though is to see if it will make me more regular (so that, in turn, I can better predict/manage my emotional state at specific times in my cycle). I will only know if it's working after about three cycles, so I'll keep you posted.
Walking = feeling more energetic = less down about eating well/exercising (more into it = doing more of it) = weight loss and better overall mood. All that combined with putting less pressure on myself is a good thing. I have to remember that the VERY FIRST thing that made me able to lose all that weight years ago was when I decided to stop with the guilt over being fat, eating garbage and being lazy. To let go of the negative thinking and instead focus on doing something about it. And THAT is something to feel good about.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
A nice end to a rough week...
... well, one horribly rough day anyway.
I asked a friend if she'd be willing to escape the city with me this weekend, and she gladly obliged. We spent Friday brainstorming and only came up with one car rental and an idea of where we would go. Separately, at home, we had both ended up looking up things to do and where they are, so when the next morning came, we didn't even realize we had a full day already planned.
We stopped for the best croissants in town to get the trip started right. The first stop on arriving at our destination was tube sliding :) I was amazed at how frightened I was of even the beginner slopes. How embarrassing, when parents are practically chucking 2-year-olds down those very hills with no fear. In any case, we "manned up" and got to sliding, which was a lot of fun... especially what they call a tornado, which is like a bucket in which about 8 people sit and slide down, but under the weight, the bucket begins to spin as it descends at lightning speed. It would have been more fun had we not ended up with little kids who weigh nothing, because it was obvious the heavier buckets spun much faster.
Then, we had intended to have a light lunch since I had carefully selected a fancy dinner place for us to try, but when I saw that the sugar shack opened that VERY day, I could not resist: it has been maybe four years since I've been, and fortunately this friend is a fan.
Afterward, we drove around a bit on the hunt for a place to go snowshoeing, something neither of us had ever done. The weather was not as sunny and warm as in the morning, but when we did finally find a place, the weather couldn't have been more perfect really. It was grey and heavy snowflakes fell as we trekked alongside a partially frozen river, in a forest with probably 5-6 feet of perfect, fluffy snow cover and no one around. We only did one hour of snowshoeing since it was getting chilly and late, but I would love to go back and explore more of the area. What a great invention snowshoes are, especially the modern ones with the metal spikes :)
Next, it was time to visit the factory outlets very briefly. I picked up one Nike workout T-shirt and some fruit at a grocery store. Then we were basically done with that and went up to the main street in the village, where there is a good coffee place I like. We stayed there having something called a mochalattecino... it was good to warm up a bit and digest the heavy lunch before moving on to dinner :)
Good restaurants in this ski/tourist resort town are few and far between, so I dared to try a newer, fancier and "hipper" place than the usual places I try there. My friend and I shared a foodies plate that included: pate, proscuitto, salami, salad, tartiflette de roblochon (don't ask, it's so fat and it's good, but not great), a mini-poutine, and three varieties of crostini: a pair with calamari... very nice, a pair that was standard bruschetta, and the final duo being a mushroom/chicken combo. We each topped that off with a glass of Portuguese wine, hers white, mine red. The owner came out to see if all was edible, and the staff were very friendly. Overall the food was enjoyable.
All in all, a perfect day. Oh and I came home to Hairy, who had been in the U.S. with friends for the day, and who bought me a pack of super awesome flourescent workout socks and a Bluth banana stand shirt to sleep in, which is one of the coolest things I have ever received... For those who don't have any clue what a Bluth banana stand is, it's a reference to the TV show Arrested Development, which is a big favourite of mine.
This morning my stomach isn't feeling so hot because of all the fatty food, but I'm about to bring the rental car back then likely hit the gym for a light workout. My weight is still under control too since all I ate yesterday probably made up for the calories I did not consume Thursday.
I hope you enjoyed reading a more positive blog than my usual. It really was a much-needed escape.
I asked a friend if she'd be willing to escape the city with me this weekend, and she gladly obliged. We spent Friday brainstorming and only came up with one car rental and an idea of where we would go. Separately, at home, we had both ended up looking up things to do and where they are, so when the next morning came, we didn't even realize we had a full day already planned.
We stopped for the best croissants in town to get the trip started right. The first stop on arriving at our destination was tube sliding :) I was amazed at how frightened I was of even the beginner slopes. How embarrassing, when parents are practically chucking 2-year-olds down those very hills with no fear. In any case, we "manned up" and got to sliding, which was a lot of fun... especially what they call a tornado, which is like a bucket in which about 8 people sit and slide down, but under the weight, the bucket begins to spin as it descends at lightning speed. It would have been more fun had we not ended up with little kids who weigh nothing, because it was obvious the heavier buckets spun much faster.
Then, we had intended to have a light lunch since I had carefully selected a fancy dinner place for us to try, but when I saw that the sugar shack opened that VERY day, I could not resist: it has been maybe four years since I've been, and fortunately this friend is a fan.
Afterward, we drove around a bit on the hunt for a place to go snowshoeing, something neither of us had ever done. The weather was not as sunny and warm as in the morning, but when we did finally find a place, the weather couldn't have been more perfect really. It was grey and heavy snowflakes fell as we trekked alongside a partially frozen river, in a forest with probably 5-6 feet of perfect, fluffy snow cover and no one around. We only did one hour of snowshoeing since it was getting chilly and late, but I would love to go back and explore more of the area. What a great invention snowshoes are, especially the modern ones with the metal spikes :)
Next, it was time to visit the factory outlets very briefly. I picked up one Nike workout T-shirt and some fruit at a grocery store. Then we were basically done with that and went up to the main street in the village, where there is a good coffee place I like. We stayed there having something called a mochalattecino... it was good to warm up a bit and digest the heavy lunch before moving on to dinner :)
Good restaurants in this ski/tourist resort town are few and far between, so I dared to try a newer, fancier and "hipper" place than the usual places I try there. My friend and I shared a foodies plate that included: pate, proscuitto, salami, salad, tartiflette de roblochon (don't ask, it's so fat and it's good, but not great), a mini-poutine, and three varieties of crostini: a pair with calamari... very nice, a pair that was standard bruschetta, and the final duo being a mushroom/chicken combo. We each topped that off with a glass of Portuguese wine, hers white, mine red. The owner came out to see if all was edible, and the staff were very friendly. Overall the food was enjoyable.
All in all, a perfect day. Oh and I came home to Hairy, who had been in the U.S. with friends for the day, and who bought me a pack of super awesome flourescent workout socks and a Bluth banana stand shirt to sleep in, which is one of the coolest things I have ever received... For those who don't have any clue what a Bluth banana stand is, it's a reference to the TV show Arrested Development, which is a big favourite of mine.
This morning my stomach isn't feeling so hot because of all the fatty food, but I'm about to bring the rental car back then likely hit the gym for a light workout. My weight is still under control too since all I ate yesterday probably made up for the calories I did not consume Thursday.
I hope you enjoyed reading a more positive blog than my usual. It really was a much-needed escape.
Friday, March 1, 2013
recovery
Well, it was definitely food poisoning since I feel MUCH better now.
Yesterday, after posting on the blog, the situation got worse again. I was writhing in pain, my muscles and lower back aching, and felt nauseous, dehydrated and underslept. Hairy went to get me Gravol, which made it possible to quell the nausea a few hours at a time, and helped me sleep. Eventually, Advil killed off the back and muscle pain, and Gatorade seemed to bring my brain back to life.
I have never felt so awful before, but thank god I had Hairy here because if I didn't have someone to go to the store for me I couldn't have left the house myself.
Today I will bring oatmeal for lunch since I want to stick to plain foods and rehydrating. I am a little nervous about eating something that might trigger it all again.
And I was really pumped about the gym this week for once too! Oh well, another day another try. I'll go back once I am eating normally.
Have a good one.
Yesterday, after posting on the blog, the situation got worse again. I was writhing in pain, my muscles and lower back aching, and felt nauseous, dehydrated and underslept. Hairy went to get me Gravol, which made it possible to quell the nausea a few hours at a time, and helped me sleep. Eventually, Advil killed off the back and muscle pain, and Gatorade seemed to bring my brain back to life.
I have never felt so awful before, but thank god I had Hairy here because if I didn't have someone to go to the store for me I couldn't have left the house myself.
Today I will bring oatmeal for lunch since I want to stick to plain foods and rehydrating. I am a little nervous about eating something that might trigger it all again.
And I was really pumped about the gym this week for once too! Oh well, another day another try. I'll go back once I am eating normally.
Have a good one.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
uggghhh. what a night.
I am blogging right now because I am exhausted and need ways to stay seated upright and distracted from what I've been suffering through since about midnight.
I believe it is food poisoning, though the two-way tango makes it evoke much more amusing mental pictures.
I have had three big episodes of painful heaving and other less shareable experiences, interspersed with a brief moment of relief afterward followed by hours of nausea. To get any sleep at all, there was only one position that sufficed: sitting almost completely upright in a ball, leaning to the left... not the right, the left only. I have been trying to stomach glasses of water and boiled water with salt and honey. Soon Hairy will wake up and go get me ginger ale and crackers and I'll eat some bland food today. I'm really excited for ginger ale and crackers at this point.
I haven't had a stomach flu since just before moving to this city, 6 years ago. I do rather well at being all organized and proper through the messy stuff, but I especially hate the dull, lingering nausea in between spells. The heaving only matters for a few seconds.
Anyway, the bright side is that I just took a shower right after my third episode and brushed my teeth and feel a lot cleaner and my skin doesn't hurt so much with my temperature more normal now. Since it's a decent time to be awake, I will try not to sleep in that uncomfortable position and wait til the bed is free for me to setup a TV watching nest and sleep space that's more comfy.
I hope you're all having a better day than I.
I believe it is food poisoning, though the two-way tango makes it evoke much more amusing mental pictures.
I have had three big episodes of painful heaving and other less shareable experiences, interspersed with a brief moment of relief afterward followed by hours of nausea. To get any sleep at all, there was only one position that sufficed: sitting almost completely upright in a ball, leaning to the left... not the right, the left only. I have been trying to stomach glasses of water and boiled water with salt and honey. Soon Hairy will wake up and go get me ginger ale and crackers and I'll eat some bland food today. I'm really excited for ginger ale and crackers at this point.
I haven't had a stomach flu since just before moving to this city, 6 years ago. I do rather well at being all organized and proper through the messy stuff, but I especially hate the dull, lingering nausea in between spells. The heaving only matters for a few seconds.
Anyway, the bright side is that I just took a shower right after my third episode and brushed my teeth and feel a lot cleaner and my skin doesn't hurt so much with my temperature more normal now. Since it's a decent time to be awake, I will try not to sleep in that uncomfortable position and wait til the bed is free for me to setup a TV watching nest and sleep space that's more comfy.
I hope you're all having a better day than I.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Another good day
Yesterday I managed to do my old favourite lunch walk, up a really steep hill and back down. It did me a world of good, as did chatting on the phone with a great friend, which put me extra out-of-breath. These walks really make the day go by much more calmly.
I also had the energy for Portuguese class. Last week I ditched because a sudden bout of the blues hit me. As I explained, I've been dealing with some tough moments on and off, and have often been choosing to spend all my time in bed watching stuff on Netflix, because it's the only thing that requires nothing of me but staying awake, and is an effective distraction.
This is coming from someone who had all but stopped watching TV completely for the last few years, apart from movies and the occasional series. I just usually feel that if you turn on the TV for even 30 minutes, those are 30 minutes your brain could have actually been relaxing with quiet time, music, a conversation with a friend, catching up on emails, blogging, reading, exercising... or just NOT having that feeling like your schedule is so tight. I love a good TV show (and lord knows I probably spent 2/3 of my youth 19 watching TV), but the advertising gets to me as do the messages that get across. Despite being AWARE of the fact the messages we get from the media are unrealistic, it still has a big influence on what I perceive as normal to look like, how people age, how people's homes look, and the list goes on... For me, it's undue pressure. For others, they may not ever notice and live happy lives.
Okay, back to the point though: I am watching a lot of TV and not playing sports, and the combination has completely halted my energy momentum.
Momentum is absolutely key to motivation. To stick to something, you have to keep doing it. May sound redundant but it's true.
I went to the gym again today and had a very good workout. I did 30 minutes of treadmill, in a fairly passionate run, and then pull-ups, jumping squats, sideways leg lifts and stretching. I feel good since yesterday. I never know if that will continue but I don't really care. I am so relieved for me and for Hairy that I'm doing better right now.
Speaking of which, I told you I was taking baby steps to get help: well today, after years of putting it off, I finally got myself and my man on a list to get a family doctor. Soon a nurse will call us to assess our state of health, because the list is by health priority and not first-come, first-served. I hope they will agree that my need to consult someone for anxiety/depression is actually urgent-ish and does not constitute an emergency (since for serious stuff they say just go to Emergency). It could take years to get a doctor, but at least at some point I may have one.
I'll see what they say when they call, and depending how long it will take I may seek more immediate remedies.
By the way, the Evening Primrose Oil, so far, appears to be doing nothing (though I'll really know after my next T.O.M.), except it makes me sleep very soundly, without any feelings as though I took sleeping pills at all. I don't even know if they're intended to help with sleep, but they really do in my case.
To wrap this up, I went to buy my lunch today at a place that's far enough to count as a lunchtime walk, there and back. It was a tomato/basil pizza that is fairly light. I just are two organic eggs (there is a slight and enjoyable difference compared to regular eggs), and a spinach salad with cucumber and tomato, olive oil, salt, pepper, squeeze of lemon and a dash of balsamic. I will keep myself some room for a decaf espresso and a little sweet treat. Gotta go.
I also had the energy for Portuguese class. Last week I ditched because a sudden bout of the blues hit me. As I explained, I've been dealing with some tough moments on and off, and have often been choosing to spend all my time in bed watching stuff on Netflix, because it's the only thing that requires nothing of me but staying awake, and is an effective distraction.
This is coming from someone who had all but stopped watching TV completely for the last few years, apart from movies and the occasional series. I just usually feel that if you turn on the TV for even 30 minutes, those are 30 minutes your brain could have actually been relaxing with quiet time, music, a conversation with a friend, catching up on emails, blogging, reading, exercising... or just NOT having that feeling like your schedule is so tight. I love a good TV show (and lord knows I probably spent 2/3 of my youth 19 watching TV), but the advertising gets to me as do the messages that get across. Despite being AWARE of the fact the messages we get from the media are unrealistic, it still has a big influence on what I perceive as normal to look like, how people age, how people's homes look, and the list goes on... For me, it's undue pressure. For others, they may not ever notice and live happy lives.
Okay, back to the point though: I am watching a lot of TV and not playing sports, and the combination has completely halted my energy momentum.
Momentum is absolutely key to motivation. To stick to something, you have to keep doing it. May sound redundant but it's true.
I went to the gym again today and had a very good workout. I did 30 minutes of treadmill, in a fairly passionate run, and then pull-ups, jumping squats, sideways leg lifts and stretching. I feel good since yesterday. I never know if that will continue but I don't really care. I am so relieved for me and for Hairy that I'm doing better right now.
Speaking of which, I told you I was taking baby steps to get help: well today, after years of putting it off, I finally got myself and my man on a list to get a family doctor. Soon a nurse will call us to assess our state of health, because the list is by health priority and not first-come, first-served. I hope they will agree that my need to consult someone for anxiety/depression is actually urgent-ish and does not constitute an emergency (since for serious stuff they say just go to Emergency). It could take years to get a doctor, but at least at some point I may have one.
I'll see what they say when they call, and depending how long it will take I may seek more immediate remedies.
By the way, the Evening Primrose Oil, so far, appears to be doing nothing (though I'll really know after my next T.O.M.), except it makes me sleep very soundly, without any feelings as though I took sleeping pills at all. I don't even know if they're intended to help with sleep, but they really do in my case.
To wrap this up, I went to buy my lunch today at a place that's far enough to count as a lunchtime walk, there and back. It was a tomato/basil pizza that is fairly light. I just are two organic eggs (there is a slight and enjoyable difference compared to regular eggs), and a spinach salad with cucumber and tomato, olive oil, salt, pepper, squeeze of lemon and a dash of balsamic. I will keep myself some room for a decaf espresso and a little sweet treat. Gotta go.
Monday, February 25, 2013
So here's the thing.
Weight = Of no consequence at the moment. Fluctuates regularly but stays in the same ballpark and is not trending upward anymore.
Height = I suppose gradually diminishing with age and regular slouching induced by deskwork and curling up in balls care of depression.
I feel like every time I get on here to proudly say I took one more step in the right direction, the next few days are spent moving backward. It has been a roller coaster.
I discussed my state of mental wellness with Hairy yesterday, and his thinking is that I need to find the same drive I had a few years back when I was in a pit of chubby despair. I need to delve into the depths of my inner strength and commit to making myself the person I will feel good about being.
The hitch is this (while not an excuse, I think it's a valid point): Back then, I was fighting outer forces. I was fighting money problems, a bad relationship, poor past choices, weight issues, and so on. All of this RESULTED in depression/anxiety, but once I started to sleep, eat and exercise well, and taught myself the counter-intuitive art of patience/denial, all was well.
Now, I wont explain the details, but life is as I've always wanted it to be: simple and filled with love. Now my mental problems have become more apparent than ever. Without other negative forces in my life, all the bad inside me has free reign. All I can say is that even though I'm not treating it like an emergency, I am taking baby baby steps to get help. I need time and mental preparation every time I have to call / visit a doctor, go to a health store and ask questions, etc. I need time to prepare to go shopping for new clothes even.
I'll look at it this way going forward: instead of aiming for 3-5 days of working out intensely, I am aiming just to make it to the gym more than twice a week, and if that means 15 minutes of treadmill then home, so be it. I did my long walk at lunch today and it gave me energy. I think a big part of my problem is without my lunchtime walks, I get home wiped out mentally. When my brain is tired, I have less emotional control.
Today what worked was repeating over and over (if you think it's stupid, try it with something that scares you to death and then talk to me): "it's not a beauty competition, and that would be a losing/neverending battle. Hairy is with me for who I am and there will always be someone prettier, but they won't be me." It's really hard to find things that work when all your mind wants to do is bash yourself, but today, this is what worked.
Height = I suppose gradually diminishing with age and regular slouching induced by deskwork and curling up in balls care of depression.
I feel like every time I get on here to proudly say I took one more step in the right direction, the next few days are spent moving backward. It has been a roller coaster.
I discussed my state of mental wellness with Hairy yesterday, and his thinking is that I need to find the same drive I had a few years back when I was in a pit of chubby despair. I need to delve into the depths of my inner strength and commit to making myself the person I will feel good about being.
The hitch is this (while not an excuse, I think it's a valid point): Back then, I was fighting outer forces. I was fighting money problems, a bad relationship, poor past choices, weight issues, and so on. All of this RESULTED in depression/anxiety, but once I started to sleep, eat and exercise well, and taught myself the counter-intuitive art of patience/denial, all was well.
Now, I wont explain the details, but life is as I've always wanted it to be: simple and filled with love. Now my mental problems have become more apparent than ever. Without other negative forces in my life, all the bad inside me has free reign. All I can say is that even though I'm not treating it like an emergency, I am taking baby baby steps to get help. I need time and mental preparation every time I have to call / visit a doctor, go to a health store and ask questions, etc. I need time to prepare to go shopping for new clothes even.
I'll look at it this way going forward: instead of aiming for 3-5 days of working out intensely, I am aiming just to make it to the gym more than twice a week, and if that means 15 minutes of treadmill then home, so be it. I did my long walk at lunch today and it gave me energy. I think a big part of my problem is without my lunchtime walks, I get home wiped out mentally. When my brain is tired, I have less emotional control.
Today what worked was repeating over and over (if you think it's stupid, try it with something that scares you to death and then talk to me): "it's not a beauty competition, and that would be a losing/neverending battle. Hairy is with me for who I am and there will always be someone prettier, but they won't be me." It's really hard to find things that work when all your mind wants to do is bash yourself, but today, this is what worked.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Back in the game
I am still anywhere from 145.5 to 147 lbs on any given day, but I'm trying not to care so much about this. My real concern is my lack of consistency. I have been going to the gym maybe two to three times per week on average, while this time last year I was playing volleyball twice a week, working out four times a week and sometimes doing other kinds of workouts.
I've been standing a little more on the metro and taking the stairs on occasion. And I've tried to start walking again at lunchtime. I think my new role at work makes it hard for me to take a solid 30 minutes to walk and eat my desk before, because I get a lot of last minute requests and changes that are hard to set aside. I'm really trying, but I just need the nice weather to come back and at least for that I will be very motivated.
It's been an emotional roller coaster for the last little while, but now it's more like a kid ride than a big, scary one. I am trying out evening primrose oil as a natural supplement. It's not EXACTLY designed to do what I need it to, but it may help. I was also recommended Vitex Combo for the PMS-related depression, anxiety, and other things. I took it the first day I got it, and I must say I was wired and upbeat all day while I should have been grumpy because of a mild hangover (which ALWAYS leaves me grumpy in the afternoon). Based on my reading, primrose oil is much less 'traumatic' for the body than this herb combo for hormone balancing, so I am sticking to just the former for the next few weeks. I think consulting a doctor before taking the other would be wise.
I worked out last night, and it was a good one. I still feel lethargic whenever I think about doing exercise, but I'm getting there and doing it anyway. I just wish I could be as motivated from Friday-Sunday, when it isn't part of a strict routine. If you remember, I absolutely need routine to stick to anything...
Off to vurk.
I've been standing a little more on the metro and taking the stairs on occasion. And I've tried to start walking again at lunchtime. I think my new role at work makes it hard for me to take a solid 30 minutes to walk and eat my desk before, because I get a lot of last minute requests and changes that are hard to set aside. I'm really trying, but I just need the nice weather to come back and at least for that I will be very motivated.
It's been an emotional roller coaster for the last little while, but now it's more like a kid ride than a big, scary one. I am trying out evening primrose oil as a natural supplement. It's not EXACTLY designed to do what I need it to, but it may help. I was also recommended Vitex Combo for the PMS-related depression, anxiety, and other things. I took it the first day I got it, and I must say I was wired and upbeat all day while I should have been grumpy because of a mild hangover (which ALWAYS leaves me grumpy in the afternoon). Based on my reading, primrose oil is much less 'traumatic' for the body than this herb combo for hormone balancing, so I am sticking to just the former for the next few weeks. I think consulting a doctor before taking the other would be wise.
I worked out last night, and it was a good one. I still feel lethargic whenever I think about doing exercise, but I'm getting there and doing it anyway. I just wish I could be as motivated from Friday-Sunday, when it isn't part of a strict routine. If you remember, I absolutely need routine to stick to anything...
Off to vurk.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Can't pick a title
I am sorry I've been out of commission, but I'll be back with a new post soon. promise.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
oooh I'm sooo gonna kill you PMS
I went back to the gym, fully prepped and coaching myself to cope with the inevitable facing of my fear. I did it. Shockingly well. This is good news and bad news.
The good news is that my anxiety is basically manageable in ideal conditions: I feel good about myself, certain stressors are not there, and my hormones are in check.
The bad news: the minute a bad thing happens I am no longer equipped to cope. It is truly like night and day the difference I feel compared to last week in terms of sanity. And yet, I faced the exact same fear.
Anyway, all this to say there may be hope at the end of this tunnel. I need to see about PMS-y supplements and somehow snaggle my way in to see the ever elusive doctor.
For now, I consider facing my fear a victory... for one day anyway. Especially since I felt a little crappy and didn't feel like working out at all, and ended up having a great 45 minute run.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I am still here.
I am still here. I am still making some effort to get in shape and watch what I eat. I just tuned out for a bit since I wasn't quite sure what to make of my thoughts and state of mind last week.
I have deduced that the combination of grieving and PMS make for nasty anxiety attacks. A medical professional I spoke to recently said she had often heard gynecologists repeat that no woman needs to suffer during PMS since there are 'fixes' for all of it. I don't have much in the way of physical symptoms, but any stress, anxiety or problem I have is exponentially more dramatic and devastating during that time. It's time for me to speak to the doctor and go to the natural food store to see what other options I have. By the way, I'm not talking about just being bitchy or sad, I am talking my mind turns on me and I can no longer function whatsoever and suffer from sever depression, but literally just for the 1 or 2 days when it's at its worst and it shows up and disappears out of nowhere (triggered by my usual anxieties but blown way out of proportion). So it's not a cop-out to blame it on PMS, but that explains the worst part of what's been going on for me. The anxiety itself is always there and I'm working on that...
I would like to thing I am being "strong" because I went back to my regular gym yesterday, mentally coaching myself through the possible re-facing of my fear. I was not faced with it, but inevitably will be when I go back later in the week. There is much I cannot control, but my behaviour is something that I can... or so I'm told. I will give it a real try. I am going to at least give the appearance of a regular person being calm and normal until my mind catches up.
I have to leave now. I was 145.8 this morning. I went to the gym after a few days off since I had injured my neck. All's back in order now.
I have deduced that the combination of grieving and PMS make for nasty anxiety attacks. A medical professional I spoke to recently said she had often heard gynecologists repeat that no woman needs to suffer during PMS since there are 'fixes' for all of it. I don't have much in the way of physical symptoms, but any stress, anxiety or problem I have is exponentially more dramatic and devastating during that time. It's time for me to speak to the doctor and go to the natural food store to see what other options I have. By the way, I'm not talking about just being bitchy or sad, I am talking my mind turns on me and I can no longer function whatsoever and suffer from sever depression, but literally just for the 1 or 2 days when it's at its worst and it shows up and disappears out of nowhere (triggered by my usual anxieties but blown way out of proportion). So it's not a cop-out to blame it on PMS, but that explains the worst part of what's been going on for me. The anxiety itself is always there and I'm working on that...
I would like to thing I am being "strong" because I went back to my regular gym yesterday, mentally coaching myself through the possible re-facing of my fear. I was not faced with it, but inevitably will be when I go back later in the week. There is much I cannot control, but my behaviour is something that I can... or so I'm told. I will give it a real try. I am going to at least give the appearance of a regular person being calm and normal until my mind catches up.
I have to leave now. I was 145.8 this morning. I went to the gym after a few days off since I had injured my neck. All's back in order now.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Improvements
Hi. I am 148 point something this morning but I ate Indian food very late last night so I figure my weight is really still at about 146.5 "en temps normal".
I am feeling mostly better. I went to a different gym yesterday: one that's closer to work, fancier, and much busier. I don't really like it, but I could get used to it for now until I'm better equipped to go back to my regular spot.
After doing a 30 minute run on treadmills that are so different from the older ones at my regular gym that I could barely figure them out, I did 15 pullups in 3 sets of 5. Unfortunately, I managed to badly pull a muscle in my neck and now cannot look to the left or upward (which means Hairy has to crouch down to my level for a kiss now :) It feels a bit better this morning, so that's promising.
Here's an interesting article:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/01/30/obesity-weight-loss-myths.html
I am feeling mostly better. I went to a different gym yesterday: one that's closer to work, fancier, and much busier. I don't really like it, but I could get used to it for now until I'm better equipped to go back to my regular spot.
After doing a 30 minute run on treadmills that are so different from the older ones at my regular gym that I could barely figure them out, I did 15 pullups in 3 sets of 5. Unfortunately, I managed to badly pull a muscle in my neck and now cannot look to the left or upward (which means Hairy has to crouch down to my level for a kiss now :) It feels a bit better this morning, so that's promising.
Here's an interesting article:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/01/30/obesity-weight-loss-myths.html
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
checking in
Hi there!
I am gradually starting to feel better. I am making a conscious effort to counter any instincts to put myself down, and trying to frame things more realistically. I still feel "grey," slow and forgetful, but filling my time with distractions really helps. I will make my way back to the gym today, but a different gym, across from my work, for the time being. For now I sometimes force myself to think about the source of my fear and tell myself there is no threat, it means nothing, and my fear is the problem, not the object of it.
I am holding at 146.8 today, but I did go for a walk at lunch. I am trying to reintegrate my old habits from last year. Eating more homemade meals too. Hairy has been helping me through all this and we have been watching the entire "The Office" series. We are finally at the part when Jim kisses Pam, eeee.
I read a book called Free Will by Sam Harris. It's a sort of essay in plain language and is pretty interesting. I found one his others, entitled Lying, for Kindle for $3 and will read it soon. I also recently finished Life of Pi and thought it wrapped up nicely.
And in case you are wondering, my top movie picks for 2012 are Detachment and Max and Mary (or Mary and Max). In light movies, I'd say "The Mechanic" for action, Friends with Kids and Away we Go. In oddly un-techy science fiction..."Never let me go"... WOW as a writer/editor I realize how shitty that was in terms of proper use of italics, quotation marks, etc. But I just got lazy and need to leave for work now.
Gotta run.
I am gradually starting to feel better. I am making a conscious effort to counter any instincts to put myself down, and trying to frame things more realistically. I still feel "grey," slow and forgetful, but filling my time with distractions really helps. I will make my way back to the gym today, but a different gym, across from my work, for the time being. For now I sometimes force myself to think about the source of my fear and tell myself there is no threat, it means nothing, and my fear is the problem, not the object of it.
I am holding at 146.8 today, but I did go for a walk at lunch. I am trying to reintegrate my old habits from last year. Eating more homemade meals too. Hairy has been helping me through all this and we have been watching the entire "The Office" series. We are finally at the part when Jim kisses Pam, eeee.
I read a book called Free Will by Sam Harris. It's a sort of essay in plain language and is pretty interesting. I found one his others, entitled Lying, for Kindle for $3 and will read it soon. I also recently finished Life of Pi and thought it wrapped up nicely.
And in case you are wondering, my top movie picks for 2012 are Detachment and Max and Mary (or Mary and Max). In light movies, I'd say "The Mechanic" for action, Friends with Kids and Away we Go. In oddly un-techy science fiction..."Never let me go"... WOW as a writer/editor I realize how shitty that was in terms of proper use of italics, quotation marks, etc. But I just got lazy and need to leave for work now.
Gotta run.
Monday, January 28, 2013
...
I just wanted to check in to say hello.
I was 146.0 this morning. I am eating normally but haven't been back to the gym or work since the "incident" and am now trying to figure out how to face my fear so I can move forward.
I have had a bad few days and want to thank everyone for being understanding. It appears so many smart, funny, beautiful people I know have deep-seated insecurities and fears. They manifest themselves in so many different ways. Some, like me, have all our emotions right at the surface like exposed nerves. Others shift their focus or bury their feelings. Others have the good sense to force themselves to let it go. It is essentially a control issue in my case. I cannot accept things that I absolutely cannot control.
I guess it's like everything, I need to practice every day, and eventually it will be my normal.
So I am taking one last day of rest to build up the strength to deal with my everyday life--this really makes it sounds like my life is awful, which is anything but the case.
I took a long walk alone in the cold, sunny air yesterday and it did me some good. I may not be able to handle the gym just yet, but there are still other ways for me to take care.
Now I need to go eat lunch and then nap. I hope you are all doing well, even if I may be out of touch.
I was 146.0 this morning. I am eating normally but haven't been back to the gym or work since the "incident" and am now trying to figure out how to face my fear so I can move forward.
I have had a bad few days and want to thank everyone for being understanding. It appears so many smart, funny, beautiful people I know have deep-seated insecurities and fears. They manifest themselves in so many different ways. Some, like me, have all our emotions right at the surface like exposed nerves. Others shift their focus or bury their feelings. Others have the good sense to force themselves to let it go. It is essentially a control issue in my case. I cannot accept things that I absolutely cannot control.
I guess it's like everything, I need to practice every day, and eventually it will be my normal.
So I am taking one last day of rest to build up the strength to deal with my everyday life--this really makes it sounds like my life is awful, which is anything but the case.
I took a long walk alone in the cold, sunny air yesterday and it did me some good. I may not be able to handle the gym just yet, but there are still other ways for me to take care.
Now I need to go eat lunch and then nap. I hope you are all doing well, even if I may be out of touch.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
speechless
146.2 today. bleh. I am in my workout gear eating breakfast and getting ready to go attempt working out.
I have a specific kind of anxiety that most of my readers already know about and others may not. I prefer not to get into it, except to say that this week, I was confronted with this anxiety at my gym and it is something I will have to face over and over again. To avoid the source of my stress I would need to change gyms, which would likely end with the same thing happening over again.
This week has been a bad week. I cannot give more details or it will unleash emotions I am too exhausted to deal with at the moment. I believe that maybe the anxiety attacks are so much worse since I lost my aunt this week, since they're generally worse when I am in a bad state (extra tired, PMS, depressed, etc.). I thought I was coping well with losing my aunt, but I am completely unable to manage my own emotions over things especially one thing. I am so frustrated.
I don't know why I care what happens to other people, but I often wonder if other people have something that makes them feel totally and completely inadequate. On the one hand, I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone, because it's a problem that is extremely hard to escape/eliminate; but on the other, I would would feel comforted knowing other people have had this and overcame it.
I am working on it, but even though the really bad attacks only happen once in a while, when they do come on, it feels like it has been constant for my entire life. I need to continue to exercise, eat well, sleep well and work on my brain and thought patterns, but right now I just feel like I am crumbling.
I have a specific kind of anxiety that most of my readers already know about and others may not. I prefer not to get into it, except to say that this week, I was confronted with this anxiety at my gym and it is something I will have to face over and over again. To avoid the source of my stress I would need to change gyms, which would likely end with the same thing happening over again.
This week has been a bad week. I cannot give more details or it will unleash emotions I am too exhausted to deal with at the moment. I believe that maybe the anxiety attacks are so much worse since I lost my aunt this week, since they're generally worse when I am in a bad state (extra tired, PMS, depressed, etc.). I thought I was coping well with losing my aunt, but I am completely unable to manage my own emotions over things especially one thing. I am so frustrated.
I don't know why I care what happens to other people, but I often wonder if other people have something that makes them feel totally and completely inadequate. On the one hand, I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone, because it's a problem that is extremely hard to escape/eliminate; but on the other, I would would feel comforted knowing other people have had this and overcame it.
I am working on it, but even though the really bad attacks only happen once in a while, when they do come on, it feels like it has been constant for my entire life. I need to continue to exercise, eat well, sleep well and work on my brain and thought patterns, but right now I just feel like I am crumbling.
Friday, January 25, 2013
bumpy road
145.8 this morning, so I am headed in the right direction, albeit slowly.
It has been a bumpy week, emotionally speaking. Fortunately I have Hairy to try and calm me. I was in a good mood most of yesterday, just long enough to have a great workout: 40 minutes on the treadmill with 35 minutes running progressively faster and 15 pull ups.
I went to pick up our organic produce and made a soup without any pre-made broth or store-bought stuff. It was decent for a first try at making it really on my own, but I will try to make better ones in the future. It was made with a tomato juice (made just of local tomatoes and salt) the farm includes in our baskets. From there, I added an onion--I cut an onion for the first time in my LIFE yesterday by the way!!!--garlic, green cabbage, potatoes, carrots, kidney beans, chickpeas, curry, sea salt from Portugal :), pepper, cayenne pepper sauce, hot peppers, spinach... I think that is all. I pureed it and it was good, but nothing more.
I wont work out tonight and instead I'll rest and try to get my emotions in order. Tomorrow I will hit the gym though, hopefully stronger.
I am starting to really need new workout pants and tops and another sports bra once again. Why aren't clothes built to last? My Lululemon ones bought a few years back have been repaired but are coming apart again, though they did far better than the adidas ones I bought maybe six months ago, which developed holes instantaneously. My tops are getting tighter around the tummy. Even though I try not to buy clothes that are bigger because I want to maintain my weight, I also have to feel confident and comfortable when I work out or I get fidgety and distracted and discouraged.
I have to get going. Have a good one.
It has been a bumpy week, emotionally speaking. Fortunately I have Hairy to try and calm me. I was in a good mood most of yesterday, just long enough to have a great workout: 40 minutes on the treadmill with 35 minutes running progressively faster and 15 pull ups.
I went to pick up our organic produce and made a soup without any pre-made broth or store-bought stuff. It was decent for a first try at making it really on my own, but I will try to make better ones in the future. It was made with a tomato juice (made just of local tomatoes and salt) the farm includes in our baskets. From there, I added an onion--I cut an onion for the first time in my LIFE yesterday by the way!!!--garlic, green cabbage, potatoes, carrots, kidney beans, chickpeas, curry, sea salt from Portugal :), pepper, cayenne pepper sauce, hot peppers, spinach... I think that is all. I pureed it and it was good, but nothing more.
I wont work out tonight and instead I'll rest and try to get my emotions in order. Tomorrow I will hit the gym though, hopefully stronger.
I am starting to really need new workout pants and tops and another sports bra once again. Why aren't clothes built to last? My Lululemon ones bought a few years back have been repaired but are coming apart again, though they did far better than the adidas ones I bought maybe six months ago, which developed holes instantaneously. My tops are getting tighter around the tummy. Even though I try not to buy clothes that are bigger because I want to maintain my weight, I also have to feel confident and comfortable when I work out or I get fidgety and distracted and discouraged.
I have to get going. Have a good one.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
In case I've confused you.
The last three posts are old drafts I had never published. They range from 2010 to late 2011 and are a funny reminder that at one time I was THRILLED to be 146.
It also reminds me how it took one year to lose 40 pounds, and almost another whole year to lose 10.
So in case you're wondering why my weight seems to be rapidly fluctuating, the last post from this week is "Reset" and the others between that and this one are old.
I just thought I'd post them since I don't really know why they were saved as drafts and never posted.
It also reminds me how it took one year to lose 40 pounds, and almost another whole year to lose 10.
So in case you're wondering why my weight seems to be rapidly fluctuating, the last post from this week is "Reset" and the others between that and this one are old.
I just thought I'd post them since I don't really know why they were saved as drafts and never posted.
Good news.
My T.O.M. arrived smack in the middle of vball last night, but the good news is that this morning, while bloated from my first day of my T.O.M, I was 144.8!! I know that's pretty much 145, but it's NOT 145, NOR 146 or 147, and therefore is an improvement.
I anticipate, if all goes smoothly, that I'll be 144 solid by tomorrow.
eeeeee!
I anticipate, if all goes smoothly, that I'll be 144 solid by tomorrow.
eeeeee!
grey days
normally grey weather has me down. For some reason unknown to me I am feeling just nice and calm and a little sleepy, in a good way.
A friend had VIP tickets to the Rogers Cup semi-finals and invited me. I've never followed tennis, but I was looking forward to it. Instead, we sat in a VIP lounge drinking espressos and chatting as we kept waiting for the next update about the rain delays every 30 minutes. Oddly, I found this fun. The only time we got to see the players was when they were warming up, and to please the angry mob, they kicked a micro soccer ball back and forth over the net and also played tennis doing all kinds of goofy tricks. It was amusing while it lasted, and then we were back in the tent.
So even though this weekend could be considered a bust, I think I needed to do nothing. I have been at home since early this afternoon and have worked out, showered, cleaned, eaten and am vegging and watching television now. I have been in silence since my roommate went out, and have even muted the TV for a bit to write this calmly.
I am on track with my weight loss. After the challenge ended about two weeks ago my lowest weight was 153. If my math is right, I should be back down to 154 tomorrow morning (I went up to 159 on my week off eating well and working out). If I can under 150 without doing the challenge again soon, I will be a happy girl. I am aiming to do the challenge once more in late September or possibly after Thanksgiving in October to lose what will likely be the most difficult weight to lose, the final 10 lbs. I am aiming to get to 140 or less. Less would only be better because that gives me room for winter/Thanksgiving/Christmas weight, before I get back into things in January. Unlike many people, I am highly motivated in winter, and am not one of those who gives up after a few weeks of working out as a New Year's resolution. I DO give up for many other reasons throughout the year (not this year though :), but winter is my peak time in terms of willingness to workout.
My long term plan is 15 or more lbs gone by December, then after Christmas I will try to take a vacation somewhere in a bikini to get a nice tan and relax after some of the most hellish years of my young life. Then, my task for 2011, to cement all the work that I have done, is to work on toning. However, if it gets to a point where I am ever drinking protein shakes and literally weighing my food, please put me out of my misery, because to me that is not living. I'm a bit of a perfectionist in some ways, but I also want to be able to enjoy a nice soft layer of feminine fat on my body and the beauty that comes from being a happy, well-fed person.
Alright, I'm off to relax some more. I just hope this weather clears up by Wednesday for volleyball. Oh, did I mention I will be trying out regular court volleyball for the Fall? It's cheaper, and it will be something different. I'm pretty excited since I'll be playing with some people I met at beach.
A friend had VIP tickets to the Rogers Cup semi-finals and invited me. I've never followed tennis, but I was looking forward to it. Instead, we sat in a VIP lounge drinking espressos and chatting as we kept waiting for the next update about the rain delays every 30 minutes. Oddly, I found this fun. The only time we got to see the players was when they were warming up, and to please the angry mob, they kicked a micro soccer ball back and forth over the net and also played tennis doing all kinds of goofy tricks. It was amusing while it lasted, and then we were back in the tent.
So even though this weekend could be considered a bust, I think I needed to do nothing. I have been at home since early this afternoon and have worked out, showered, cleaned, eaten and am vegging and watching television now. I have been in silence since my roommate went out, and have even muted the TV for a bit to write this calmly.
I am on track with my weight loss. After the challenge ended about two weeks ago my lowest weight was 153. If my math is right, I should be back down to 154 tomorrow morning (I went up to 159 on my week off eating well and working out). If I can under 150 without doing the challenge again soon, I will be a happy girl. I am aiming to do the challenge once more in late September or possibly after Thanksgiving in October to lose what will likely be the most difficult weight to lose, the final 10 lbs. I am aiming to get to 140 or less. Less would only be better because that gives me room for winter/Thanksgiving/Christmas weight, before I get back into things in January. Unlike many people, I am highly motivated in winter, and am not one of those who gives up after a few weeks of working out as a New Year's resolution. I DO give up for many other reasons throughout the year (not this year though :), but winter is my peak time in terms of willingness to workout.
My long term plan is 15 or more lbs gone by December, then after Christmas I will try to take a vacation somewhere in a bikini to get a nice tan and relax after some of the most hellish years of my young life. Then, my task for 2011, to cement all the work that I have done, is to work on toning. However, if it gets to a point where I am ever drinking protein shakes and literally weighing my food, please put me out of my misery, because to me that is not living. I'm a bit of a perfectionist in some ways, but I also want to be able to enjoy a nice soft layer of feminine fat on my body and the beauty that comes from being a happy, well-fed person.
Alright, I'm off to relax some more. I just hope this weather clears up by Wednesday for volleyball. Oh, did I mention I will be trying out regular court volleyball for the Fall? It's cheaper, and it will be something different. I'm pretty excited since I'll be playing with some people I met at beach.
I did it!
Well pretty much!
I was 136.4 this morning, HOORAHHHH! Right before leaving for Rome and the last time I'll see a scale until I get back, which might be scary.
I wanted to be 135 by the time I left, but just getting to 136 has been a bit of a fight, so I am thrilled. That means 50 lbs lost as of today, the day I leave on my well-deserved reward vacation. BOOYAHHH!!
reset
yesterday was a bad day, a sad day. Today will be better. I will make it be better.
I was 146.4 this morning. I worked out just a bit last night. Like I said, it was a sad day, so on some down days when I get choked up, I cannot really run on the treadmill. I managed to do 25 minutes with 10 minutes of jogging, 30 box jumps, 24 push ups (half of those bringing one knee to chest), and then stretching. Oh yeah, and handstands.
Today is organic food basket delivery day, eeeee. My apartment seems to make food rot faster than normal, so we need to get some paper bags or some other solution to keep humidity out. We lost many a good veg last week...
This is the first week since the week before Christmas that I will have worked five days in a row. The good thing is that this week has been crazy busy. The day before last it was crazy with bad stuff happening, yesterday was crazy but in a not-bad way, in the sense that I just had one project to do after another and one question after another, yet no real obstacles got in the way of me. I hope today and tomorrow will be the same and I can relax on the weekend. Perhaps go see my parents before they head back home, we'll see...
Have a nice day!
Oh, I will be working out tonight as well. And I tried a new food place at lunch called Frais (another pricey sandwich and salad place but a good one at least). Since my Indian food lunch was cancelled, I ended up feeding my emotions with a brownie and mocha instead. I know, I suck at this losing weight stuff, but I WILL get there, I will I swear it.
I was 146.4 this morning. I worked out just a bit last night. Like I said, it was a sad day, so on some down days when I get choked up, I cannot really run on the treadmill. I managed to do 25 minutes with 10 minutes of jogging, 30 box jumps, 24 push ups (half of those bringing one knee to chest), and then stretching. Oh yeah, and handstands.
Today is organic food basket delivery day, eeeee. My apartment seems to make food rot faster than normal, so we need to get some paper bags or some other solution to keep humidity out. We lost many a good veg last week...
This is the first week since the week before Christmas that I will have worked five days in a row. The good thing is that this week has been crazy busy. The day before last it was crazy with bad stuff happening, yesterday was crazy but in a not-bad way, in the sense that I just had one project to do after another and one question after another, yet no real obstacles got in the way of me. I hope today and tomorrow will be the same and I can relax on the weekend. Perhaps go see my parents before they head back home, we'll see...
Have a nice day!
Oh, I will be working out tonight as well. And I tried a new food place at lunch called Frais (another pricey sandwich and salad place but a good one at least). Since my Indian food lunch was cancelled, I ended up feeding my emotions with a brownie and mocha instead. I know, I suck at this losing weight stuff, but I WILL get there, I will I swear it.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
RIP
146.2 this morning because I ate a salad for lunch and a smoothie for dinner. I was supposed to go to Portuguese class, but I ended up not going after a lengthy debate with my inner self.
I woke up in a sad mood yesterday. My morning was alright, I was in an ambivalent state. Then, as things got hectic at work and I, along with many others, began to make mistakes on every project, which is something that doesn't happen often. Since I was in an already sad state, I ended up in the ladies restroom with a burst of tears, then after a few seconds, dried myself up and got back to it, just yearning for the day to end. During that momentary lapse of emotional control, I thought to myself, I wonder if my aunt is dying right now. All day I had felt like she was going to leave.
After deciding not to go to class, I went home and tried to calm down. At 5:30 my dad called me to tell me my aunt had passed away at 2 p.m. (about 20 minutes earlier than my outburst). She died holding her mother's and oldest sister's hands, and had been surrounded by loved ones for weeks. I am happy she can rest peacefully now, along with those who cared for her over the last few years. I'll miss her sense of humour and the fact she loved her nieces and nephews no matter how shitty we could be.
I am going to work today because I prefer not to think about this right away. I always need some time to digest things. I just hope work goes well and I can finish off the week relatively calmly.
Having Indian buffet for a good friend's birthday lunch today, so I'll need to do damage control pre- and post-face-stuffing. I will likely go to the gym tonight, if I don't have some sudden outburst later in the day :)
Have a nice day.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
day whatever
It's Day I don't know what and I am at 147.5, still. No shocker there. But I had a great workout yesterday. I didn't make myself workout a long time, but everything I did had an energy to it that I haven't felt in a long time.
Today I have Portuguese class, so I'll hit the gym again tomorrow. As for food, still inconsistent but focusing on small changes like no more beverages loaded with calories unless I'm considering part of the meal. Also taking stairs more, etc.
Gotta run, sooo behind on a bunch of things I forgot to do yesterday.
Today I have Portuguese class, so I'll hit the gym again tomorrow. As for food, still inconsistent but focusing on small changes like no more beverages loaded with calories unless I'm considering part of the meal. Also taking stairs more, etc.
Gotta run, sooo behind on a bunch of things I forgot to do yesterday.
Monday, January 21, 2013
shorthand
Little time to write.
148.6 lbs today. Disappointment. Ate McDonald's on weekend but had a delicious organic roast chicken with rapini last night.
Getting back into working out, but family business beckons and things are all over the place at the moment. I am fine, thank you to all those who inquired by the way :)
Brought my lunch to work, unfortunately it is minus 1000 degress outside (okay, more like -19C) and I will have to mall-walk.
Taking the stairs more and trying not to sit on metro, but sat today to get out of people's way.
Gotta go. This year is NOT getting off to a good start in terms of fat loss.
148.6 lbs today. Disappointment. Ate McDonald's on weekend but had a delicious organic roast chicken with rapini last night.
Getting back into working out, but family business beckons and things are all over the place at the moment. I am fine, thank you to all those who inquired by the way :)
Brought my lunch to work, unfortunately it is minus 1000 degress outside (okay, more like -19C) and I will have to mall-walk.
Taking the stairs more and trying not to sit on metro, but sat today to get out of people's way.
Gotta go. This year is NOT getting off to a good start in terms of fat loss.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
comme ci comme ca
147 this morning (in my defense I was back to 146.5 yesterday after my pasta binge the previous evening)... but I also ate a big plate of pasta last night. Quite frankly though it's because we having nothing but veggies and carbs in the house and no proteins I wanted, and I am sick of eating take-out food even if I've been eating the healthy stuff.
I worked out after work: 45 minutes on the treadmill with 40 minutes running, followed by 15 dips, 12 or so chin ups, some handstands (yes, handstands are part of my workout), about 80 mountain climbers, and then stretching. I also tried to see how much I could bench press, after seeing Hairy's friend lift 115-lb freeweights on either arm. I managed to lift 25 lbs (50 in total) for seven reps, and I thought I was strong, but man was that rough.
Today I am in a little bit of pain from the handstands (it's like riding a bike, except the pain is in the traps instead of my ass). I will go workout in a few minutes and then hit the saunaaaaaahhhhh! Yessss.
I just had my favourite breakfast smoothie (I have cut back on this since I'm working out less and it's fairly high calorie / protein, but makes a great pre-workout breakfast): no fat Greek yog, blueberries, spinach, a banana, peanut butter, a shot of espresso, almond milk, a spoonful of cacao, and after blending, two scoops of "Aphrodisiac" oatmeal cereal, which is delishusssssss. It may sound weird but it's like a PB-banana-coffee smoothie and you can't taste the rest.
I have to share something a little sad right now. My aunt is dying of cancer and has been fading quickly for the last few weeks. I just received a text saying she is unresponsive right now, so I am going to try to workout quickly and move up my plans to get out there earlier in the day than planned. The reason I wanted to mention this on the blog is because after three years, I have noticed something that is too uncanny not to speak of. I have had several dreams about my teeth falling out or being injured and weak and damaged. Every time I have one of these dreams, I am informed of bad news about someone's health. When I had my first dream like this, I had mentioned it to people and all of them told me it's a bad omen. I don't necessarily believe in dream interpretation, but it's starting to get creepy since I had a dream like that this past night, and as I brushed my teeth I said I should brace myself because I am probably about to get bad news about my aunt.
The upside is that it hasn't necessarily meant death. When I had my first dream like this a few years ago, I received a phone call telling me my grandma was in the hospital with two weeks to live. Two years or so later and she looks beautiful and energetic as ever, though her heart is very weak (you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her though). Another time, there were several people ill but none of them died. My aunt is unresponsive, which is to be expected now, but I am hopeful I'll have time to make it there to say goodbye...
On that note, I need to go take care of my own health for a little bit. Off I go back to the gym.
I worked out after work: 45 minutes on the treadmill with 40 minutes running, followed by 15 dips, 12 or so chin ups, some handstands (yes, handstands are part of my workout), about 80 mountain climbers, and then stretching. I also tried to see how much I could bench press, after seeing Hairy's friend lift 115-lb freeweights on either arm. I managed to lift 25 lbs (50 in total) for seven reps, and I thought I was strong, but man was that rough.
Today I am in a little bit of pain from the handstands (it's like riding a bike, except the pain is in the traps instead of my ass). I will go workout in a few minutes and then hit the saunaaaaaahhhhh! Yessss.
I just had my favourite breakfast smoothie (I have cut back on this since I'm working out less and it's fairly high calorie / protein, but makes a great pre-workout breakfast): no fat Greek yog, blueberries, spinach, a banana, peanut butter, a shot of espresso, almond milk, a spoonful of cacao, and after blending, two scoops of "Aphrodisiac" oatmeal cereal, which is delishusssssss. It may sound weird but it's like a PB-banana-coffee smoothie and you can't taste the rest.
I have to share something a little sad right now. My aunt is dying of cancer and has been fading quickly for the last few weeks. I just received a text saying she is unresponsive right now, so I am going to try to workout quickly and move up my plans to get out there earlier in the day than planned. The reason I wanted to mention this on the blog is because after three years, I have noticed something that is too uncanny not to speak of. I have had several dreams about my teeth falling out or being injured and weak and damaged. Every time I have one of these dreams, I am informed of bad news about someone's health. When I had my first dream like this, I had mentioned it to people and all of them told me it's a bad omen. I don't necessarily believe in dream interpretation, but it's starting to get creepy since I had a dream like that this past night, and as I brushed my teeth I said I should brace myself because I am probably about to get bad news about my aunt.
The upside is that it hasn't necessarily meant death. When I had my first dream like this a few years ago, I received a phone call telling me my grandma was in the hospital with two weeks to live. Two years or so later and she looks beautiful and energetic as ever, though her heart is very weak (you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her though). Another time, there were several people ill but none of them died. My aunt is unresponsive, which is to be expected now, but I am hopeful I'll have time to make it there to say goodbye...
On that note, I need to go take care of my own health for a little bit. Off I go back to the gym.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Can someone boost me back onto this horse?
It's Day... whatever... and I am starting again. I will go to the gym tonight after having the dreaded three-day break. I always go in telling myself "if you do just 10-20 minutes, that's okay," and inevitbly end up doing more. Mind games baby, it's all about the mind games. It's actually amazing how you can be fully aware you are playing mind tricks and yet still fall for it.
I have been careful about what I eat all week except my pasta breakdown the other night. It's the working out I am finding difficult to stick to. For me, routine is the only thing that keeps me together. If I break the routine, everything gets messed up. People have criticized me a lot for having to be so anal about working out, eating or sleeping at specific times, but that is what holds everything together: the routine.
Last year I tried to relax the routine to give myself and my loved ones more time, and preserve energy. I dropped organized sports, started saying 'no' to some events/jobs, etc. But I never succeeded in losing or even maintaining my weight that way, I gained 10 lbs while consistently trying to lose weight.
I need to find the middle ground, and I believe it's this: I need to remember all the little things I did to maintain / lose weight when I first started out. I never drank anything with calories in it (water and espresso and tea basically), I snacked ONLY on healthy treats, I chose my meals at restaurants in advance, I only went to restaurants once a week, I resisted bread at home and almost never ate pasta except on rare occasions, I walked at every lunch regardless of the weather, and I never sat on the metro/subway and always took the solid stairs. I will try to start applying this stuff more again, that should at least allow me to maintain.
The losing part takes more than this, especially since beach volleyball was just about the best workout ever and gives you a sexy body unlike most other similarly-intense sports, which make me look more butch :)
Alright, enough whining about my weight. It's not all bad anyway; I do feel much prettier now that my cookie pimples are all gone from my Christmas junk food fiesta.
Off to work I go I go. It's FRI-DAYYYYYY!
I have been careful about what I eat all week except my pasta breakdown the other night. It's the working out I am finding difficult to stick to. For me, routine is the only thing that keeps me together. If I break the routine, everything gets messed up. People have criticized me a lot for having to be so anal about working out, eating or sleeping at specific times, but that is what holds everything together: the routine.
Last year I tried to relax the routine to give myself and my loved ones more time, and preserve energy. I dropped organized sports, started saying 'no' to some events/jobs, etc. But I never succeeded in losing or even maintaining my weight that way, I gained 10 lbs while consistently trying to lose weight.
I need to find the middle ground, and I believe it's this: I need to remember all the little things I did to maintain / lose weight when I first started out. I never drank anything with calories in it (water and espresso and tea basically), I snacked ONLY on healthy treats, I chose my meals at restaurants in advance, I only went to restaurants once a week, I resisted bread at home and almost never ate pasta except on rare occasions, I walked at every lunch regardless of the weather, and I never sat on the metro/subway and always took the solid stairs. I will try to start applying this stuff more again, that should at least allow me to maintain.
The losing part takes more than this, especially since beach volleyball was just about the best workout ever and gives you a sexy body unlike most other similarly-intense sports, which make me look more butch :)
Alright, enough whining about my weight. It's not all bad anyway; I do feel much prettier now that my cookie pimples are all gone from my Christmas junk food fiesta.
Off to work I go I go. It's FRI-DAYYYYYY!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
sa-sa-sa-saboteuse.
I was 148 this morning damnit. I ordered what turned out to be a not-so-tasty, fancy mac n' cheese for dinner last night, after being good all day. My only excuse is that dinner was very late for me and my willpower gets weaker the longer I stay hungry. I was this close to choosing a healthier option when, BAM!, there I went and spit out the words "I'll have the mac please." Argh.
It really is a constant fight with myself NOT to take the fattiest thing on the menu. At home things are much more balanced.
That said, I had a delicious salad for lunch and asked for just oil and vinegar, and did not have my usual Diet Coke, but water.
I was headed in the right direction this week and my workouts were good. I had class one night and a family visit last night, and tonight I cannot workout either. That's my three-day demotivation point. Bleh. But I will force myself to go tomorrow.
I was back at work as of yesterday and it's nice to have it busier than last week. The days go by far quicker in a hurry :)
I have to run, which actually means sit and finish my breakfast before work. Have a nice day all!
Monday, January 14, 2013
happily drained.
I just returned from a very productive workout. I ran for 43 minutes, plus eight minutes of walking split pre- and post-run. That was followed by four sets each of 20 sec. plank then 8 pushups, and then 12 jumping squats. I did some deep stretching for my hip/groin (is it called groin in a woman?) to make sure I can continue to run for the year without injury.
I recently noticed something that had been staring me in the face for a whole year (or at least right behind me when I look in the mirror while washing my hands in the gym change room): a sauna! How could I NOT notice a sauna? I, the lover of heat, missed it, but I am making up for lost time. I've already hit it four times this week. I think I'll follow every weekend workout with 10 minutes in it, just to relax.
I weighed in at 146 today. I'm slowly but steadily getting back down to my 'normal' average weight of 143. Once I get there, the 5 lbs to get to 138 will be the hard part. Ugh.
I already feel better after a few days of withdrawing from society and working out, having no plans looming in my mind and being able to get things done around the house that never get done otherwise. I've watched a few good movies, Detachment being a highlight, but I also enjoyed Like Crazy and if you're interested in a light movie that's nowhere close to amazing but is great entertainment on a weekend when you don't want to think, The Mechanic will do the trick. It's a fairly violent action movie, but if I can stomach it, most people probably can. There is also minimal use of trashy women to round out the plot, which is something I appreciate, and the lead actor reminds me of Hairy, so that's an added perk for me. Oddly enough, one night as he and I walked home from a restaurant on an empty main street, late at night, this past summer, a bunch of girls drove by in a car screaming "we love you Jason." Whatever this may have been, I am almost certain they confused him with Jason Statham. My thought was "how could it be Jason Statham if he's walking around town with a short, round girl like me and not some tall model?" ha! I don't actually want to look like a model, but it's a fair question. I actually just looked up 'Jason Statham girlfriend' in Google images and precisely, she is some super tall, skinny blonde.
Before I get to doing my household chores, I had to eat something or I'd pass out. I had an apple and then a smoothie with pineapple, blackberries, blueberries, coconut water and no fat Greek yogurt. It's better without the coconut water but I was just trying to mix it up a little.
I'll admit, yesterday I had two croissants (I made some mean ham and swiss sandwiches though) and today I had one. So I'm not going to pretend everything I am doing right now is "on track," but at least I am not eating all the garbage that has no nutritional value, including Diet Coke and cheap cookies, so that's a start. Also, Hairy and I have been making soups with our organic produce basket goodies. The one we made yesterday was delicious: veg broth, yellow curry, sea salt, pepper, celeriac, carrots, potatoes, onion, garlic, parsnip... all of that pureed. Delish!
Okay, I have to run. Or actually stroll lazily into the shower and then heat up some of that soup I mentioned, and homemade hummus, for lunch. Yumsy.
I recently noticed something that had been staring me in the face for a whole year (or at least right behind me when I look in the mirror while washing my hands in the gym change room): a sauna! How could I NOT notice a sauna? I, the lover of heat, missed it, but I am making up for lost time. I've already hit it four times this week. I think I'll follow every weekend workout with 10 minutes in it, just to relax.
I weighed in at 146 today. I'm slowly but steadily getting back down to my 'normal' average weight of 143. Once I get there, the 5 lbs to get to 138 will be the hard part. Ugh.
I already feel better after a few days of withdrawing from society and working out, having no plans looming in my mind and being able to get things done around the house that never get done otherwise. I've watched a few good movies, Detachment being a highlight, but I also enjoyed Like Crazy and if you're interested in a light movie that's nowhere close to amazing but is great entertainment on a weekend when you don't want to think, The Mechanic will do the trick. It's a fairly violent action movie, but if I can stomach it, most people probably can. There is also minimal use of trashy women to round out the plot, which is something I appreciate, and the lead actor reminds me of Hairy, so that's an added perk for me. Oddly enough, one night as he and I walked home from a restaurant on an empty main street, late at night, this past summer, a bunch of girls drove by in a car screaming "we love you Jason." Whatever this may have been, I am almost certain they confused him with Jason Statham. My thought was "how could it be Jason Statham if he's walking around town with a short, round girl like me and not some tall model?" ha! I don't actually want to look like a model, but it's a fair question. I actually just looked up 'Jason Statham girlfriend' in Google images and precisely, she is some super tall, skinny blonde.
Before I get to doing my household chores, I had to eat something or I'd pass out. I had an apple and then a smoothie with pineapple, blackberries, blueberries, coconut water and no fat Greek yogurt. It's better without the coconut water but I was just trying to mix it up a little.
I'll admit, yesterday I had two croissants (I made some mean ham and swiss sandwiches though) and today I had one. So I'm not going to pretend everything I am doing right now is "on track," but at least I am not eating all the garbage that has no nutritional value, including Diet Coke and cheap cookies, so that's a start. Also, Hairy and I have been making soups with our organic produce basket goodies. The one we made yesterday was delicious: veg broth, yellow curry, sea salt, pepper, celeriac, carrots, potatoes, onion, garlic, parsnip... all of that pureed. Delish!
Okay, I have to run. Or actually stroll lazily into the shower and then heat up some of that soup I mentioned, and homemade hummus, for lunch. Yumsy.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Weighing heavily...
Ahhhh it feels good to sleep in. Woke up at around 9 a.m. and ate a light breakfast before heading to the gym on Day 3 of my time off.
I have a free BMI assessment waiting for me to claim at my gym, but I am putting it off. First of all, I weight 146.5 today, still above my average for 2012, which was more like 143. The other thing is that since I am only 5'2'' and my muscles are really big, it always tells me I am obese/overweight since it's not designed for athletic builds, but for the average Joe who's not very fit and of average height and weight.
When I was at my lowest weight, 135, I was all skin and bones on top (my thighs are like sprinter's legs so they will never be skinny) and yet my BMI said I was just barely normal weight. That's when I finally realized it's just one tool (an only somewhat reliable one), to be used in combination with the scale and measurements to determine what I feel is "normal" or "healthy". My general feeling is that 138-143 suits me best.
Hairy is making us juices right now. We just tried out our new fryer as well with some rissois (Portuguese breaded dumpling-y things filled with shrimp and a spicy creamy sauce). Yesterday we made cod balls, pasteis de bacalhau, and made tartar sauce with mayo and the homemade ketchup sent with our organic produce basket from a local farm. The 'ketchup' actually tastes more like relish, and made for a delicious accompaniment for the cod balls.
Today's juice consists of apples, spinach, pineapple, avocado, green peppers, cucumber, celery, parsley and lime. So far, only one of the smoothies he's made (following the recipe book by Jason Vale,
The Funky Fresh Juice Book) has been a little, uh, earthy, but the rest of them have been delicious.
Over Christmas, my skin was so awful and I worked it down to the sugar in all the cookies I was eating. I do eat 'bad' food, but not usually really poor quality stuff like the cookies I had been scarfing down for weeks while also not working out. After a week without the cookies and eating tons of veggies and homemade juices, my skin is looking much better.
I should also point out that I came to an official conclusion regarding motivation and exercise: NEVER take more than two days in a row off. This definitely applies to me, but I think it may speak to others as well. I say, if you can manage to fit in even 15-20 minutes of intense exercise in a day, do it. You'll almost never (if ever) regret a workout, but will regret not moving.
A friend said something to me lately that has really motivated me. She is pregnant and is so exhausted that she cannot run. She LOOOOVES running. I like running, not love, but I really want to get back into it. So she told me "when you run, think of me, since I'd love to be able to but can't." Now, when I am on the treadmill just starting to jog and I start to feel tired, I remind myself that I'm so happy to be able to run since my friend can't, my other friends and family find it so hard to get motivated, and my aunt who is very ill cannot even walk anymore. I am doing it because I can, it makes me feel good, it challenges me and it will help me live longer and stronger, I hope anyway.
Okay, I am off to drink some juice and continue organizing my apartment. We got so much done yesterday it feels soooo therapeutic. Lataz.
I have a free BMI assessment waiting for me to claim at my gym, but I am putting it off. First of all, I weight 146.5 today, still above my average for 2012, which was more like 143. The other thing is that since I am only 5'2'' and my muscles are really big, it always tells me I am obese/overweight since it's not designed for athletic builds, but for the average Joe who's not very fit and of average height and weight.
When I was at my lowest weight, 135, I was all skin and bones on top (my thighs are like sprinter's legs so they will never be skinny) and yet my BMI said I was just barely normal weight. That's when I finally realized it's just one tool (an only somewhat reliable one), to be used in combination with the scale and measurements to determine what I feel is "normal" or "healthy". My general feeling is that 138-143 suits me best.
Hairy is making us juices right now. We just tried out our new fryer as well with some rissois (Portuguese breaded dumpling-y things filled with shrimp and a spicy creamy sauce). Yesterday we made cod balls, pasteis de bacalhau, and made tartar sauce with mayo and the homemade ketchup sent with our organic produce basket from a local farm. The 'ketchup' actually tastes more like relish, and made for a delicious accompaniment for the cod balls.
Today's juice consists of apples, spinach, pineapple, avocado, green peppers, cucumber, celery, parsley and lime. So far, only one of the smoothies he's made (following the recipe book by Jason Vale,
The Funky Fresh Juice Book) has been a little, uh, earthy, but the rest of them have been delicious.
Over Christmas, my skin was so awful and I worked it down to the sugar in all the cookies I was eating. I do eat 'bad' food, but not usually really poor quality stuff like the cookies I had been scarfing down for weeks while also not working out. After a week without the cookies and eating tons of veggies and homemade juices, my skin is looking much better.
I should also point out that I came to an official conclusion regarding motivation and exercise: NEVER take more than two days in a row off. This definitely applies to me, but I think it may speak to others as well. I say, if you can manage to fit in even 15-20 minutes of intense exercise in a day, do it. You'll almost never (if ever) regret a workout, but will regret not moving.
A friend said something to me lately that has really motivated me. She is pregnant and is so exhausted that she cannot run. She LOOOOVES running. I like running, not love, but I really want to get back into it. So she told me "when you run, think of me, since I'd love to be able to but can't." Now, when I am on the treadmill just starting to jog and I start to feel tired, I remind myself that I'm so happy to be able to run since my friend can't, my other friends and family find it so hard to get motivated, and my aunt who is very ill cannot even walk anymore. I am doing it because I can, it makes me feel good, it challenges me and it will help me live longer and stronger, I hope anyway.
Okay, I am off to drink some juice and continue organizing my apartment. We got so much done yesterday it feels soooo therapeutic. Lataz.
Friday, January 11, 2013
progre$$
I may not be down on the scale, weighing in at 147 this morning inexplicably, but my debt balance is much nicer: I am officially debt free for the first time in, oh, say, about six years. This is huge. Monumental.
BOOYAH!
Take that bank. Take that world!
Time to be educated about finances and make wiser choices.
Got to get back to my vacation and reorganizing my apartment with Hairy.
Latahhhhh!
BOOYAH!
Take that bank. Take that world!
Time to be educated about finances and make wiser choices.
Got to get back to my vacation and reorganizing my apartment with Hairy.
Latahhhhh!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
My figure(s)
I did an official weigh-in and measurement-taking this morning so I can really start like a champ. It turns out, 10 lbs of extra weight equates to about 1 inch of extra cushion on my body. That's what I've deduced by comparing today's numbers with my starting numbers in 2010 and my lowest numbers, obtained around June/July of 2011 I believe.
My weight as of this morning: 146.5 lbs
My measurements:
Neck: 11.5 in.
Chest: 33.5 in.
Rib cage: 29 in.
Waist: 27 in.
Hips: 32.5 in.
Butt: 37 in.
Thigh: 22.5 in.
I don't like measuring my calves, and I never did before, so even though I think I should, bah!
I have put on about 1 inch everywhere. I'm less concerned about weight and inches than how I think I look and fit in my clothes at this point, but the weight is important for my running.
I think it's also important to mention some other things I've been doing that were part of my initial goals but took longer to achieve: I started actively working on my mental health and relationships. I am trying to rebuild focus/concentration and positive attitude in general, but primarily at work. AND, I am doing my best ever attempt to stay on top of my financial situation and learn about money and finances. I don't want to repeat past mistakes because I am uninformed and scared. Now that I'm debt-free after years and years, I need to know what to do with my income to achieve the things I want to.
For mental health, there are many things involved in this. The foremost being working out, sleeping and eating well, and improved time management. It's a process. I have a tendency to want to get things done asap and in the most efficient manner possible, because I always have the next task looming in my mind. I am trying to take things one piece at a time, and say no even when I am tempted to say yes, to give myself time to breathe. Nobody will ever force you to take a break, only you can do it. Seeking advice/guidance from professionals has been beneficial as well. My main goal is to be able to get many things done, spend time with the people I love, and come home feeling good about life, not drained.
I learned something at work that gave me some insight into my own issues In my management training, I am learning about different personality types. I had to identify my own 'type'. One of the traits of my type is that I do things with other people's feelings in mind all the time. One of the things NOT to do when dealing with someone like me is use guilt/threats/manipulation to get what you want, because this personality type already takes other people's feelings into consideration and finds it insulting to be treated this way. It made me realize why it makes me furious when people tell me "you're always busy, you never have enough time, we don't get to see you enough...etc." While their intentions are good, what they don't realize is that this just pushes me away because I am already fully aware of what I am doing and I already do my best. Guilt trips and such work with people who do not think about others when deciding how to act. All of this helps me identify one source of frustration with my family and some friends and maybe adjust my own behaviour around that or even address it directly with the person.
Anyway, by cutting volleyball, I gave myself more time for friends, family and myself. It makes me sad, but I will resume playing once a week, and instead go to the gym which takes up less time in the week.
Okay, I'm off to enjoy my days off for rest, reorganization and solitude. Have a good one!
My weight as of this morning: 146.5 lbs
My measurements:
Neck: 11.5 in.
Chest: 33.5 in.
Rib cage: 29 in.
Waist: 27 in.
Hips: 32.5 in.
Butt: 37 in.
Thigh: 22.5 in.
I don't like measuring my calves, and I never did before, so even though I think I should, bah!
I have put on about 1 inch everywhere. I'm less concerned about weight and inches than how I think I look and fit in my clothes at this point, but the weight is important for my running.
I think it's also important to mention some other things I've been doing that were part of my initial goals but took longer to achieve: I started actively working on my mental health and relationships. I am trying to rebuild focus/concentration and positive attitude in general, but primarily at work. AND, I am doing my best ever attempt to stay on top of my financial situation and learn about money and finances. I don't want to repeat past mistakes because I am uninformed and scared. Now that I'm debt-free after years and years, I need to know what to do with my income to achieve the things I want to.
For mental health, there are many things involved in this. The foremost being working out, sleeping and eating well, and improved time management. It's a process. I have a tendency to want to get things done asap and in the most efficient manner possible, because I always have the next task looming in my mind. I am trying to take things one piece at a time, and say no even when I am tempted to say yes, to give myself time to breathe. Nobody will ever force you to take a break, only you can do it. Seeking advice/guidance from professionals has been beneficial as well. My main goal is to be able to get many things done, spend time with the people I love, and come home feeling good about life, not drained.
I learned something at work that gave me some insight into my own issues In my management training, I am learning about different personality types. I had to identify my own 'type'. One of the traits of my type is that I do things with other people's feelings in mind all the time. One of the things NOT to do when dealing with someone like me is use guilt/threats/manipulation to get what you want, because this personality type already takes other people's feelings into consideration and finds it insulting to be treated this way. It made me realize why it makes me furious when people tell me "you're always busy, you never have enough time, we don't get to see you enough...etc." While their intentions are good, what they don't realize is that this just pushes me away because I am already fully aware of what I am doing and I already do my best. Guilt trips and such work with people who do not think about others when deciding how to act. All of this helps me identify one source of frustration with my family and some friends and maybe adjust my own behaviour around that or even address it directly with the person.
Anyway, by cutting volleyball, I gave myself more time for friends, family and myself. It makes me sad, but I will resume playing once a week, and instead go to the gym which takes up less time in the week.
Okay, I'm off to enjoy my days off for rest, reorganization and solitude. Have a good one!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Day deux
It is only that things are so unusually slow at work this week that I will be so bloggy. Just know that. :0)
So, I weighed in at 147. Shocking because over Christmas I was no more than 145 on average, and now I've started working out again (and no, not building muscle, just running mainly) and gradually eating much better, and NOW the scale decides to jump. Ah well. I'm using weight as one barometer, but I will need to take measurements tomorrow to compare against two years ago and see what kind of adjustments are required :)
My lowest weight was 135, but I'd say the lowest I can maintain with a minimum of effort and discipline is about 138-140lbs I've learned. Plus, I like my body better at 138-140 than 135, when I looked way too skinny on top. Over 2012, I kept meaning to get from 140 back down to 135, but ended up putting on another 5-7 lbs. My new goal is to get to 138 through running, and stay in that range as long as I can. I want to stay safely away from 150 lbs, which will be my ALARM weight now (it used to be 185 back in the day, since I felt 200 lbs coming toward me).
My boyfriend, for the blog's sake let's call him Hairy, has been making us a variety of smoothies/juices for breakfast this week, loaded with good things. Since I have been eating most of my meals out, I've been opting for hearty salads with just oil and vinegar for dressing, and other light yet nutritious meals. I am trying to offset the overload of cookies, chocolate and other sugary treats. I have been disgusting myself with my compulsive snacking. I had basically no self-control anytime I walked by a snack/treat and would tell myself NO then go eat it anyway. Now, I am reverting to my tried-and-tested trick of telling myself "If you still want it in an hour (or this afternoon / tonight) then you can have it, but just not yet." Without fail, I end up NOT eating the crap after all. I'm also applying my "if you only workout for 10 minutes at the gym, that's perfectly okay, the key is that you get there and try." This, too, is a very successful mind game, even if I know it's a mind game.
I am completely at peace with eating the high-quality chocolates my brother sent me for Christmas from one of Toronto's best chocolatemakers: SOMA, in the Distillery District. These have no junk in them and are pure fabulousness. And when I eat high-quality chocolate, naturally I tend to eat less and savour it because it is far more satisfying, like a solid shot of espresso versus watery filtered coffee. When I eat Hersheys chocolate, which is basically sugar with a splash of cocoa, for some reason I eat a ton of it even though I care much for it.
My Portuguese class was nice yesterday. I don't feel I'm making substantial progress, but the practice is important nonetheless. I will also try to keep on finding new ways to take in the language and practice this year, though I managed to keep up my motivation for most of 2012.
Alright, back to twiddling my thumbs and surfing the interweb, catching Wiki-itis.
Good day all.
So, I weighed in at 147. Shocking because over Christmas I was no more than 145 on average, and now I've started working out again (and no, not building muscle, just running mainly) and gradually eating much better, and NOW the scale decides to jump. Ah well. I'm using weight as one barometer, but I will need to take measurements tomorrow to compare against two years ago and see what kind of adjustments are required :)
My lowest weight was 135, but I'd say the lowest I can maintain with a minimum of effort and discipline is about 138-140lbs I've learned. Plus, I like my body better at 138-140 than 135, when I looked way too skinny on top. Over 2012, I kept meaning to get from 140 back down to 135, but ended up putting on another 5-7 lbs. My new goal is to get to 138 through running, and stay in that range as long as I can. I want to stay safely away from 150 lbs, which will be my ALARM weight now (it used to be 185 back in the day, since I felt 200 lbs coming toward me).
My boyfriend, for the blog's sake let's call him Hairy, has been making us a variety of smoothies/juices for breakfast this week, loaded with good things. Since I have been eating most of my meals out, I've been opting for hearty salads with just oil and vinegar for dressing, and other light yet nutritious meals. I am trying to offset the overload of cookies, chocolate and other sugary treats. I have been disgusting myself with my compulsive snacking. I had basically no self-control anytime I walked by a snack/treat and would tell myself NO then go eat it anyway. Now, I am reverting to my tried-and-tested trick of telling myself "If you still want it in an hour (or this afternoon / tonight) then you can have it, but just not yet." Without fail, I end up NOT eating the crap after all. I'm also applying my "if you only workout for 10 minutes at the gym, that's perfectly okay, the key is that you get there and try." This, too, is a very successful mind game, even if I know it's a mind game.
I am completely at peace with eating the high-quality chocolates my brother sent me for Christmas from one of Toronto's best chocolatemakers: SOMA, in the Distillery District. These have no junk in them and are pure fabulousness. And when I eat high-quality chocolate, naturally I tend to eat less and savour it because it is far more satisfying, like a solid shot of espresso versus watery filtered coffee. When I eat Hersheys chocolate, which is basically sugar with a splash of cocoa, for some reason I eat a ton of it even though I care much for it.
My Portuguese class was nice yesterday. I don't feel I'm making substantial progress, but the practice is important nonetheless. I will also try to keep on finding new ways to take in the language and practice this year, though I managed to keep up my motivation for most of 2012.
Alright, back to twiddling my thumbs and surfing the interweb, catching Wiki-itis.
Good day all.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
She's back.
Hi everyone!
First off, to all those whose stories I haven't been following because I withdrew from the bloggy world, I hope you're staying strong and keeping on keeping on or something good like that. I've thought about you often.
Well, 2012 was a year for me to re-focus myself a little. Things at work were down then got really up near the end of the year. I got a promotion, and am in training to become the team leader in February if all goes well, so this has given me a renewed excitement about work.
I began taking Portuguese lessons in October 2011 and continued to Level 5 (of 6) at the YMCA, then moved on to the courses at the church since it's MUCH cheaper and is more relevant for me since it is continental Portuguese. I even got to test it out when I went to Portugal in September, which was such an amazing time for my boyfriend and I. My Portuguese classes resume tonight, yay!
Yes, I am still happily with my ex-personal trainer-now-lifetime partner. He moved in last January and he makes a really fun roommate, friend and personal chef and motivator. I'm a lucky one.
In fitness news, I was really inconsistent and unmotivated for much of last year. I managed to put back on 10 lbs, but get back on track every time I fell off for a week or two. I couldn't get myself back into running, so I decided to focus on running in 2013. Especially since I made the painful move to drop volleyball. Well, I was supposed to be playing indoor court vball for fall/winter, but since I'm not passionate about anything but beach vball, I decided I needed that time to rest. I will be playing court vball one night a week now, instead of indoor beach, for money reasons. Eventually I will play beach again, but I have big things to save for and am making a few sacrifices now for the greater good. Running will have to suffice until summertime.
I began to see my old eating habits re-emerge, so I am working on keeping those more disciplined and in check this year. Since I do have a problem with food and tend to pack on pounds, it will be a lifetime effort, and some days (or years) are harder than others. I watched a documentary called Hungry for Change, as well as Food Inc., and have been inspired. My boyfriend and I decided to test out buying local organic produce to see if that works for us, and we've been incorporating a wider variety of vegetarian content even though I (and probably he) never intend to go fully veg. I love meat, and fish and eggs especially, so we just eat less of it and buy better quality, offsetting the price by eating more legumes, green veggies and grains, for example. Fewer croissants on the weekends too, while not depriving ourselves completely of the good stuff.
On the subject of deprivation, I have been without Diet Coke for about a month or less now, and it was only intentional for a few days, then I just stopped noticing. If I could cut back to once a year I'd be satisfied. It does more harm than good (being absolutely NOT good for you), but I love it and only it where fizzzy drinks are concerned. Otherwise I'm a waterholic, always have been, fortunately.
Okay, I can't make any promises about writing regularly, but I am thinking about it, since it really helped me stay focused on my goals year round, and find the necessary support and inspiration. I want to stay focused on keeping my eating habits in check and maintaining my current weight or losing 5-7 lbs through running and eating well. Those are my SMART goals for the year, let's see how this goes.
First off, to all those whose stories I haven't been following because I withdrew from the bloggy world, I hope you're staying strong and keeping on keeping on or something good like that. I've thought about you often.
Well, 2012 was a year for me to re-focus myself a little. Things at work were down then got really up near the end of the year. I got a promotion, and am in training to become the team leader in February if all goes well, so this has given me a renewed excitement about work.
I began taking Portuguese lessons in October 2011 and continued to Level 5 (of 6) at the YMCA, then moved on to the courses at the church since it's MUCH cheaper and is more relevant for me since it is continental Portuguese. I even got to test it out when I went to Portugal in September, which was such an amazing time for my boyfriend and I. My Portuguese classes resume tonight, yay!
Yes, I am still happily with my ex-personal trainer-now-lifetime partner. He moved in last January and he makes a really fun roommate, friend and personal chef and motivator. I'm a lucky one.
In fitness news, I was really inconsistent and unmotivated for much of last year. I managed to put back on 10 lbs, but get back on track every time I fell off for a week or two. I couldn't get myself back into running, so I decided to focus on running in 2013. Especially since I made the painful move to drop volleyball. Well, I was supposed to be playing indoor court vball for fall/winter, but since I'm not passionate about anything but beach vball, I decided I needed that time to rest. I will be playing court vball one night a week now, instead of indoor beach, for money reasons. Eventually I will play beach again, but I have big things to save for and am making a few sacrifices now for the greater good. Running will have to suffice until summertime.
I began to see my old eating habits re-emerge, so I am working on keeping those more disciplined and in check this year. Since I do have a problem with food and tend to pack on pounds, it will be a lifetime effort, and some days (or years) are harder than others. I watched a documentary called Hungry for Change, as well as Food Inc., and have been inspired. My boyfriend and I decided to test out buying local organic produce to see if that works for us, and we've been incorporating a wider variety of vegetarian content even though I (and probably he) never intend to go fully veg. I love meat, and fish and eggs especially, so we just eat less of it and buy better quality, offsetting the price by eating more legumes, green veggies and grains, for example. Fewer croissants on the weekends too, while not depriving ourselves completely of the good stuff.
On the subject of deprivation, I have been without Diet Coke for about a month or less now, and it was only intentional for a few days, then I just stopped noticing. If I could cut back to once a year I'd be satisfied. It does more harm than good (being absolutely NOT good for you), but I love it and only it where fizzzy drinks are concerned. Otherwise I'm a waterholic, always have been, fortunately.
Okay, I can't make any promises about writing regularly, but I am thinking about it, since it really helped me stay focused on my goals year round, and find the necessary support and inspiration. I want to stay focused on keeping my eating habits in check and maintaining my current weight or losing 5-7 lbs through running and eating well. Those are my SMART goals for the year, let's see how this goes.
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