bleh

well I finally got back into things this week. It has been a challenge for several reasons: an overactive social life, sleep and eating patterns thrown off, and oddly, thumb injury problems.

I have not lost any pounds since May. That is not to say my body hasn't changed, but I am still pretty let down. I have really slacked on the eating, and it's been hard getting back into working out regularly with such a crazy schedule. I am seeing more muscle in my body, which means I think I am getting leaner and less fat, literally. Unfortunately, the scale isn't showing it, which is a little discouraging, but I can't let that silly thing get to me.

I am going for physio for my fingers (ridiculous, I know, but necessary) as well as for my hip. So hopefully that will be all stronger soon.

As for the rest, I am weaning myself of restaurant dinners with friends for my birthday, and back onto home cooked meals. So far, I would say I am halfway there.

I need to clean my apartment badly, so that I even feel like cooking. I am also going to get my hair done tomorrow and my eyebrows in the next few weeks, so that might give me a little boost.

Alright, back to work I go...

Photos!

Alas! I have posted some skydiving pictures for those not on Facebook. It was an incredible time and as you can see as I look out the plane I was mostly pretty calm (surprisingly) because I was admiring the view. My cameraman and instructor were wicked too!






In other news, after a week of birthday dinners, outings and rest, I got back to the gym yesterday. It was hard to breathe and my muscles felt a little like I hadn't worked out in a few months, but I made myself sweat til my t-shirt was soaked front to back. I did a workout longer than an hour, trying to get all my muscle groups activated.

Today however, it took a crap load of convincing to get me to the gym. When I got there, I had to use the bik as usual, but they have replaced the worn in seat with a nice new one. Unfortunately, the new one is adjusted much higher than the old one, and even on the lowest setting it feels awkward. I did a slow 30 minutes, followed by some abs. Really unfortunately, right in the middle of my muscle training I decided to stretch my thighs, and upon grabbing my foot from behind to stand on one leg, I kicked my injured thumb. I felt like I was about to pass out or vomit or both. Since there was someone else in the gym I went to the ladies washroom to curse and cringe in pain. I immediately came back upstairs to put it on ice, take an Advil and then put hot water over it. I think I should get this checked out soon...

I hadn't gained any weight this week, except today I weighed 165.0 but feel extremely bloated. I am bringing a lunch and ate a breakfast to cleanse. Cereal with All Bran and organic blueberries wit organic 1% milk (I don't like milk, butI thought I'd give this very expensive organic stuff a try and it's much nicer. My wallet however will have me back to regular milk next time). I ate a banana as well. For lunch I have a vegetable soup and some sliced orange bell pepper and rice crackers. I also have an apple.

My schedule has been really hectic, so I have fallen out of the habit of preparing lunches and dinners. I am hoping the "not minding" that will come back soon.

Alright, I am off to work, tired and in pain. Have a wonderful day and keep up your good work for those of you working on your own goals!

THE GRAND FINALE PT. 2

Okay, so here I am to wrap up this shizz! Let's start by looking at how I did in numbers:

BEFORE:
Weight: 184.6 lbs (though I was counting from my morning weight of 182)
Waist size: 36 in
Hips/belly: 41 in
Butt: 43 in
Rib cage: 32 in
Chest: 37 in
Neck: 13.5 in
Thighs: 26.5 in

NOW:
Weight: 163 lbs
Waist size: 29 in
Hips/belly: 35 in
Butt: 39.5 in
Rib cage: 30 in
Chest: 35 in
Neck: 12 in
Thighs: 23

TOTAL LOST
LBS: 20 lbs
Waist: 7 inches
Hips/belly: 6 inches
Butt: 3.5 inches
Ribs: 2 inches
Chest: 2 inches
Neck: 1.5 inches
Thighs: 3.5 inches

I am pretty proud of these results, and I am only halfway there. I pledge to continue to maintain the momentum and motivation you all have helped me keep this whole time! Hopefully by December I will have attained my goal weight. I will check in every once in a while to track my progress and keep note of anything special I do to achieve this...

Okay, now about skydiving. What an incredible feeling :) I sadly can't look at the photos on this computer, so I will have to add them later, but let me just say that I went with a great group of people, the staff were amazing and we had the most beautiful weather we could had asked for. I was scared, bu not the entire time. The first sign of fear was when I stepped out of the car, saw the plane and burst into screams and laughter which led to crying hahah! This outburst lasted only a minute, but it did happen again a few minutes later. Before going up we had quite a bit of time to sit outside and see other people landing and getting ready, so I had time to gather my thoughts. By then I was pretty calm inside, but dancing around and hyper on the outside. We finally got strapped up and our camera people started filming us. Then, we loaded into the plane and sat nervously waiting to get to the 13,500 feet mark.

At some point (later found out, at the 5,000 ft. point) someone jumped out of the plane. This was very confusing to us, but it was explained that some people just want to practice landings, for example. In any case, by the time we got to our spot, the door opened and out we went, one by one, with our instructor strapped to us and my camera guy floating in front of me.

The view was very pretty. The freefall felt amazing. The floating part was very nice and my instructor was super sweet and was showing me what things were on the horizon, like Mont St. Bruno and Lake Champlain. The landing was surprisingly smooth and once on the ground, we were all relaxed.

I am so happy I forced myself to do this. I have to say that in some ways it was less scary than bungee jumping, but that's mostly thanks to the instructors, who try to mess with your head the whole time, which I am convinced is a tactic they use to distract people from the fear, and it works.

Alright, thank you everyone for reading me even when it was just my grocery list and workout schedule. You really helped me get through a tough time in my life in a very positive way. As I said, I am going to keep the blog, but I will remove you from the email list. So you can check me out if you like, though I wont post every day. I will likely put some skydiving pictures up soon, so check in if you want.

Either way, have a fantastic summer, a great 2010! I will be working my ass off to be sexy for New Year's!

THE GRAND FINALE PT.1

Hey everyone!

Well this is it. I am sorry I didn't write at my regular time, I was sleeping :) I took the day off work to do my big activity, which most of you now know is SKYDIVING! That's right. I am leaving in about 40 minutes to go jump out of a plane. I will obviously have to write about it, which is why this is merely part 1.

So for the basics, I am down another 0.5 inches on my waist and thighs, which is fantastic! My weight is still stuck between 162-163, but as long as inches are shedding, for now I am content. I didn't workout since I had relentless back and hip pain yesterday that brought me to tears and had me leave work early. I am doing much better today, I think it was the rainy weather that aggravated it.

I am so pleased that in the last six months I have done the following: quit most of my bad habits, taken MUCH better care of myself, lost 20 pounds, become active doing activities that I LOVE, helped others through volunteering and the Relay, eliminated some unnecessary drama, improved my emotional and mental health as much as I was capable of. I have cut down significantly on bread and potatoes, I always take the stairs at home, I hardy watch TV anymore and I have a much better sense of self-control. I have done a complete medical checkup and am in great health. The only area where I have failed is Diet Coke. I drink it less, but still more than I'd like, but it is so darned good.

Alright, I will leave the bulk of my message for post-jump. Wish me courage to jump out without having a heart attack before I get the chance :)

Have a great day and thanks for al the birthday wishes everyone!

1 DAY

The timer is ticking... I am at the last day of my challenge. eeeeee!

I am feeling pretty good today. Aside from several different pains all over my body, I am feeling in shape. One day of work then I have a day off tomorrow, so that feels nice as well.

I did not workout this morning. It took me hours to fall asleep last night and I initially woke up groggy and angry. Waking up an hour later made all the difference, aside from the fact that I had some pretty horrifying dreams during that hour.

I was 162.6 this morning. I knew I would go back up, but that means I'd be 161.8 or so post-workout :) I may or may not workout tonight, it depends on my plans for grocery shopping and potentially getting a hair cut, and whether my hip still hurts as much as it does right now. I said I would go easy on myself this week, so that's what I am doing :) I should have groceries by tonight though, which means my eating will be easier to manage.

My mission this week is to cut back on sugar a little. In the last month or so (since my schedule's been insane and I haven't been cooking and eating as many veggies), I have been eating probably too much fruit, in addition to becoming a little addicted to sugar in its less healthy forms. The main reason I want to cut back is my teeth. So since I haven't been eating my usual cereal and dairy breakfasts, I ate a slice of cheese this morning, and will try to get something with milk in it, without overdoing it on the fruit. I am still eating products with sugar in them, but I will mainly try to avoid juices and sugary treats... we'll see how the weaning goes.

Time to go to work... I have to think carefully about what to get for breakfast now. Wish me luck :)

2 OR 3 DAYS?! An early birthday treat!

This time of year is always full of mixed feelings for me. My birthday is important to me, mainly because it's an opportunity to try to get all my friends together for a good time and because I hear from everyone I love. It's sometimes a time of disappointment as I reflect on the past and worry about the future, but generally it's one of my favourite times of year.

I got an early birthday gift today, I was 160! However, and it's a BIG however, it's mainly from not eating over the last two days. Friday I ate so badly at the Relay that I felt nauseous (in addition to the fatigue) for most of yesterday. I went to a baby shower, so my only meal of the day was a yummy burger and snacks and sangria :) Today, after working out I was 160.2. I am so happy that at least I got to see 160, though I am well aware I might be back at 163 tomorrow :)

I have eaten almost nothing today so far too. It's not that I'm starving myself on purpose, it's mostly laziness. I have to clean my apartment, so I wanted to get that done and go workout before going grocery shopping. So that my body doesn't think it's starving, I ate an apple, but that's almost all I have at home and I am putting off going out for food because I'm still kind of tired... I think I will go buy something "take out" to go outside and take a walk, and try to do big groceries tomorrow night at the store that has all the stuff I like.

So yes, I am super excited to have gotten to 160 before June 15th. I am also excited about my plans for Tuesday. Most of you probably know what my plans are, but for the rest of you I will keep it a secret until the 15th. I am taking the day off work, and as I said, I wanted to end this with a bang :)

Alright, I have to get moving. I am so enjoying my alone time right now that it's hard to get myself out the door. But here I go, have a great day everyone!

3 DAYS

Okay, so I am a little dumb. I said 3 days left, but really, counting the 15th, I have 4 hahaha! Just realized that now...

Okay, so now for the Relay. Well on Thursday night, after working late into the night I remembered to pack a back for the Relay, which included blankets, pillows, warm clothes and food. I lugged all that to the office the following morning. All my meals were aimed at giving me energy for the evening: a salad wrap with tofu, oranges and spinach for lunch and a chicken skewer with a bit of rice/potatoes (I only ate a little bit, seriously!) and veggies.

So at 5 pm I made my way to the Olympic Stadium, where I got a little lost trying to find Parc Maisonneuve, but all's well that ends well: I made it and the skies turned extremely sunny and warm. All day it had been miserable, so this was a welcome change.

We gradually set up shop and welcomed all my teammates. Our walking portion began at about 8 pm. I am proud to say that almost everyone on my team walked for 80% of the night. If you include the walk to and from the metro and the bathrooms, it makes about 85%! We walked in groups of two, at our own pace. It just so happened that most of us just wanted to keep on walking. We would stop every 1-2 hours for a 10-minute break. At one point, around 4 am, I fell asleep :) After a 40-minute nap we restarted and walked until about 5:30. From about 2 am onward it had been raining, so packing up wasn't much fun, but we left during the breakfast because we were all reaching our breaking point of sleep deprivation.

Overall, it was a very nice experience. And as an added bonus, I ate a ton of food and still managed to come home at 162 lbs :) I didn't eat too much, it was more the timeframe within which I ate it, and the variety of food I ate that was a little disturbing. My stomach is still a little iffy.

Well I am too tired to write about the more moving aspects of the Relay, but let's just say that a pathway lined with paper lanterns with messages for cancer victims or survivors and a lap for cancer survivors are pretty powerful, more powerful than I had expected.

Alright everyone, I am off to rest a bit more and clean up all my wet stuff...

4 DAYS! Relay for Life Day!

I am all packed and ready to go. I am going to the park where the Relay is taking place straight from work, so I am going to be up from 7 am today to 7 am tomorrow (through I have brought blankets and a pillow in case of an emergency nap).

I am proud to say that my friends and family helped me raise an incredible $1,070. Big or small, your donations amounted to a lot, so thanks so much. Most of us have been affected by cancer in some way, so it really warmed my heart to see people reach out for an opportunity to help others cope...

With only 4 days left in my own personal challenge I am still at 163, 162 post-workout. I didn't workout today though since I worked late last night and reaaaaaallly needed sleep in preparation for tonight's event. I have made it my mission to walk for as much time as is physically possible. In the course of my volunteering I have walked for 4 hours straight, so I am aiming for 5-6 hours in total, but broken up into intervals so my legs don't break.

My thumb is doing a little better. It's stiff and the joint's a little swollen, but it's not too bad. I am trying to avoid using it, while still doing regular stretches to make sure it functions properly.

So even though I only have 4 days left, I am going easy on myself for a few reasons: 1) I exceeded my own expectations over the past six months; 2) I have fulfilled every single objective I had, including being more active and taking better care of myself in every way; 3) My birthday is coming up :).

I may have already said this, but I think the week of my birthday will be a little break for me, then I will kick off again after that, to lose the remaining 18 lbs. For now, I am slowly becoming very pleased with my results so far...

Have a great day everyone and wish me luck and nice weather for tonight. Thanks again to those of you who donated, it means a lot to me :)

5 DAYS

HI!

I need to be quick because I am running late. In fact, I didn't go to the gym this morning and so I woke up 1.5 hours later without an alarm, but that left me 20 minutes later than usual.

I didn't go workout because I busted my thumb playing volleyball yesterday. Basically a guy backed into my thumb at the net and it jammed. I think it may have even dislocated a little bit. But it only hurt a lot in the beginning (I sat out). I got back on the court after and played only with my right arm (surprisingly well), then my teammate hurt his ankle (he had a previous injury) and had to leave. We still managed to win every game though :)

I want to write more about this but time prevents me... the girl on my team was a crazy psycho and I am sure if she keeps it up someone is going to get in a fight with her. On my team we all just find her ridiculous, and laugh when she's being all serious and bossy and anal about points, but I'm worried she'll piss off another team and make us lose points for poor sportsmanship.
For dinner last night I managed to scrounge together some scraps and make ginger sesame shrimp with peppers and asparagus. Lunch was a delicious tuna wrap and salad (though I picked at my friend's fantastic fries).

I weighed in at 163.2 today sans workout, so about the same as yesterday. Seriously I think this is some sort of sick joke...

In any case, I need to leave now for work. Take care everyone!

6 DAYS!

It's starting to scare me, the idea of stopping my blog. Will I be able to self-motivate? In any case, after June 15, I will probably keep the blog page going without emailing it to any of you or making it public, just as a personal motivator and progress tracker. And frankly, I'll be happy when I can tell people about my life without hearing "I know, I read it on your blog."

Good news today: I am back to 162.0. It's not fantastic news, but it's halfway there! I still stand a chance of losing one more pound before my birthday. If I keep up this pace, I should be able to do it too.

I walked to-from zumba last night and did the class itself. I am almost surprised that I went alone. I basically put my gym clothes on as soon as I got in from work, so I would feel silly if I didn't go. It worked. The class was a lot of fun, and since it's a pretty light workout, was bordering on relaxing. It's great cardio, with a little bit of pressure on the thighs, ass and abs, but without ever feeling hard. So it added some more variety to this week's regimen.

Variety is the theme of the week for me. Today I did the opposite of what I did at the gym yesterday, sort of. I still did cardio then muscles, but I did 30 minutes of endurance on the bike, riding very fast with almost no resistance for long stretches. Then I did 5 minutes of running / 5 minutes of walking on the treadmill. I followed that with obliques, lunges and stretching.

Tonight I have volleyball, so that mixes things up as well. Then since Friday is the Relay for Life, I will try to walk as much as possible without injuring myself. I will be taking tomorrow evening to rest beforehand I think.

Yesterday's menu was Korean bibimbap (a bowl of rice, beef and vegetables) and dinner was corn on the cob, yams and a tiny bit of rice. Today I will go get a smoothie for breakfast and try to have something like tuna or some other light protein at lunch. We'll see :P

I feel as though my face is getting thinner again. As I keep saying, this could all be in my head, but I feel like my cheeks are getting a little sunken in... I hope I don't end up looking disgusting as a thinner person hahah! I just wish my body would catch up with my head...

Have a fantabulous journee tout le monde!

7 DAYS

1 week, that's all I have is one week. Ahhhh!

I have no idea if I have plateaud or if I am gaining muscle. Maybe it's all in my head.

I changed up my workout just enough to potentially burn more calories (in case I am actually plateauing), by doing 40 minutes on the bike and going with much more resistance than usual. I did the plank, outward pointing squats and up on my tippy toes, push ups in a different rep order and stretching, since I didn't have much time left for more.

Whether I go to zumba or not will depend on if I have work to do tonight. I'd really like to go. Since the weather is nice I can easily walk there and back. I basically need to get back to mixing up my workouts, having lots of variety. Same goes for food. I am painfully in need of groceries, but I will probably go on Thursday since I will need rations for the Relay for Life on Friday. I am not looking forward to being up all night, but I am very much looking forward to the exercise and relaxing.

Yesterday I had Amir for lunch. I strictly insisted the man only give me a tiny spoonful of potatoes, which he FINALLY did! For dinner, I went to my grandma's and heard stories about my grandma's married life as a teenager, and about their different houses. It was really interesting. Thanks to Google Street View I can go visit the spots we talked about :)

Today I will buy my same old same old breakfast. It's so simple and yet sooooo good.

Lunch will likely be a salad or wrap and dinner, yams and rice I forgot to bring yesterday.

Alright, I am off to work, have a fantastic day everyone.

The countdown: 8 days to go

Hi there!

I am not pleased. I am in a good mood but I am not pleased at all. My house guest decided to watch television until 2 am and even with earplugs I could not sleep. Needless to say I was too tired to get up for the gym, though I did walk around and debate this in my head for about 10 minutes. The final verdict was no workout today. Instead, if I don't have work to do tomorrow night, I may go to zumba to make up for this missed workout. I can't workout tonight since my mom is coming to town :)

It's so funny how your mind plays tricks on you. This is a good kind of trick in some ways I guess: I feel literally light and tiny this morning. My weight, however, would say otherwise. I love feeling like this, but I would love ACTUALLY being light and tiny more!

I only have eight days left until my blog ends. It has been such a hectic month-and-a-half that it has been really difficult to maintain the momentum I had in the beginning, not only because I've hit a plateau, but also a constantly changing schedule makes a huge difference. I am so pleased that I have gotten this far, but I would hate to end without losing just one more pound. Ideally, I would like to be at 160 by June 15, but that is technically impossible without starving myself.

In any case, I feel like I did very, very well this weekend food-wise. I got in a lot of veggies, fruit and resisted a lot of temptation even though I ate all my food outside the home. Last night I ate a ton of scrumptious sushi at sushi-mou-shi, but I hadn't eaten much throughout the day--since I was sitting on my rear end at a computer all day. I did workout yesterday in the morning as well.

Today I will aim to take a good walk at lunch and then try to get in a zumba class this week (BABS: You think you can make it tomorrow if I can go?)

Alright, I am off to get fruit and toast for breakfast and I am bringing leftover rice and yams for lunch (which I may have to complement with something else). Dinner will be chez la famiglia, so who knows!

Weekend update

Hi loyal readers!

My spirits are up, despite the rain and not losing weight. This time I haven't forgotten that a certain tme of month brings with it a pound or eight. This time it's just one pound, so that's a big plus... one less hurdle to overcome.

Yesterday I didn't workout because I knew I'd be walking. I had to go into work all day, plus I walked to and from volunteering in the middle of the day. It was nice to be back at Santropol, meeting new people and relaxing. I ate very well yesterday in terms of getting many veggies in. My brother made a delicious meal for dinner with yams, rice, spinach, roasted almonds and a yummy dressing, along with corn on the cob. At lunch I had a chicken and avocado wrap that appeared to be missing the avocado, with a beet/apple salad and a fruit salad.

This morning I slept in and decided to go into work for noon, so that I could workout and eat breakfast at home. I haven't eaten yet, but I did have a pretty decent workout on the treadmill (32 minutes to get to 280 calories) and then 15 minutes of mostly arms and abs today. I will be walking to the office in this miserable weather again, but it's so tranquil there on the weekend. This is the first time I've ever worked on the weekend for more than an hour or so, but it has actually been nice to not really go out, go to bed early, and wake up when I want (which is still early but better than with an alarm).

Alright, I am going to possibly make breakfast, but with someone sleeping in the same room, I think I might have to opt for my regular fruit and toast and espresso at Premium...

Have a great Sunday!

setbacks

Hi, not much time to write today.

My family is in town, and my brother is sleeping right next to where I am sitting right now, so I don't want to disturb him.

Basically I broke my own rule yesterday, but it was great! I wasn't "allowed" to eat Indian food for the entire blog challenge, since I was going to make that my treat on my birthday (my aunt is taking me to my favourite Indian restaurant). Now only 1.5 weeks from the end of this blog, my brother basically forced me to eat Indian food!!! However, I did enjoy every bite. I did eat too much, but all day I had eaten very light.

Instead of taking today off (I took yesterday off the gym, but ended up walking a ton), I worked out extra hard :) I might go in to volunteer tomorrow morning to get a good walk in as well. I haven't been in a long time because every weekend has been booked with baptisms, family functions, friend visits, etc.

I am no longer panicking about this plateau I am in. It may be frustrating, but I am at least aware my body is still changing, and for the better. Perhaps my birthday will bring me renewed energy to push even harder on the food end of things.

Alright, I have to jet to work, talk to y'all soon!

A small happy

I remeasured myself this morning, and I am seeing progress after all. As I thought, though my weight isn't changing, my body feels like it is. The difference is minor enough, but I am excited so I will post these as my June measurements:

Neck: 12 (down 0.5 since May)
Chest: 35 (same since May)
Ribs: 31 (same since May)
Waist: 29.5 (down 0.5 since May)
Hips: 35 (down 1.0 since May)
Butt: 39 (down 1.0 since May)
Thighs: 23.5 - 24 (down 0.25 - 0.5 since May)

So It's mostly my bottom half that's shrinking, which is fantastic because that's my larger half. I am especially excited that my thighs have gotten just a little bit smaller :)

In other news, yesterday was nice. I had my favourite salad wrap with a friend on a patio, and dinner (as expected) was eggs and toast, but I also made some asparagus and a half-mug of plain yogurt with nuts, maple syrup and raspberries. I needed protein and a hearty meal to get me through two hours of volleyball!

Volleyball was a lot more fun yesterday than the week prior. I'm getting to know my teammates better, we're getting better, and people were more friendly. I don't know what it is, but it is so fun diving into sand, even though I always regret it after for all the sand stuck to places I cannot mention.

I didn't workout this morning. I am just a little achy from volleyball and didn't want to push it.

Alright, I am off to walk in this disgusting weather, hoping the sun will show it's face later on... Have a nice day everyone!

False sense of skinny

Yo!

Ladies, you know how sometimes you feel amazing about the way you look, and then a week later you see a photo of yourself that reveals otherwise? Well I am feeling skinny today, and off and on for the last couple of days, however my measurements and weight have yet to budge. I am still at 163. It's almost starting to be funny, my routine of giving the finger to the scale. I am less than excited about the lack of change. BUT, in light of my decision to be positive, I am going to believe my mind more than the scale/measuring tape today, and go with this thin feeling I've got.

Yesterday I had a bunless burger (well I used just one piece of toast--100 calories) for dinner. I worked out at lunch, but only did cardio because I was starving. After dinner I went for a one hour stroll. This morning I had some raisin bran mixed with Kashi cereal (using up the last bits) and a kiwi. Lunch will possibly be sushi, a sandwich or a wrap, but I should go for a walk in this beautiful weather. Since I have volleyball tonight and nothing in my fridge, I will likely eat eggs and toast again, like last week.

I've got many things going on these days, but I am doing my best to stay motivated to lose weight. It's the only thing that keeps me sane... even if it's making me a little insane.

Have a great day everyone!

New plan

Hi!

So I did go for a walk at lunch yesterday, and it was a good one! I walked all the way up Drummond, which is fairly steep and long and ends with a staircase up to Des Pins. I also did go workout after work. I was tired still so it wasn't as great as it could have been, but I'd say I still worked pretty hard.

For dinner, I had a salad and scallops wrapped in prosciutto. MMMMMMMMM! My friend made it, it was my first time. I will be doing that again!

Today it was dark out in the morning and I was tired, so I decided to workout after work again. I think I will have to keep doing this all week because when I workout at night my muscles will hurt if I workout the following morning.

I am having my one remaining slice of pizza for lunch with sliced cantaloupe. For breakfast, a bowl of raisin bran and a kiwi. I have been eating too much fruit lately and really not enough veggies, so I need to get that back under control. But it is very hard to maintain a consistent eating pattern in the summer, with all the lunches and drinks and dinners with friends :)

I still haven't lost anymore weight, which is frustrating, but I feel like my body is changing none the less. I feel like my fat is less thick or solid, it's getting softer, which I hope means it's going away! I am doing muscle training to ensure I don't get flabby! I really am dying to be in the 150s, since I haven't seen them in a million years and really need to get to a weight that looks and feels healthy for me. I don't think I'll ever make it into the 130s, which by all means is the "proper" weight range for my height, but I am very okay with that. I want to remain curvy, remain soft, with a hard athletic core hahah! I think 145 might be my ideal weight, but frankly I have no idea.

I could be losing fat as we speak even if the scale isn't changing, but my measurements haven't changed for better or worse. I could just be putting on muscle. The only sign is that it seems like my body's still changing and my workout pants felt and looked extra loose yesterday. I am pushing myself on the treadmill, and trying hard to stay disciplined food wise, but I am definitely not eating as many veggies as I was in the beginning. I would say that it's going to be tough to keep to the same schedule I've been doing for the summer, but I will try. I will be moving eventually this summer and I will have to start up a new routine at a new gym, etc... Just wish me luck losing as much as I can while I have a gym in my building :)