Happy eaaarly morning! I'm up early because I'm a moron. I screwed up some deadlines at work yesterday and now I need to go into work an hour early to be sure I get a project in on time. This never happens. Well maybe one other time in almost 4 years. I preferred to come in early than work late last evening, because I've been feeling exhausted and the feeling of a cold coming on worsens over the course of the day.
I am feeling thin. I am actually feeling NOT fat. I am still at 149 and I am absolutely thrilled because I am not undereating anymore. In fact I am deliberately trying to get in more calories here and there because I feel my body needs it. It's this weird new thing I have: I still get hungry like everyone else, and eat when I am hungry. But I also get this feeling of "need" that is not the same as hunger, yet not just a desire to snack for nothing. It's like my body is telling me to top up on calories. And it has been working. While, like I said, I was unintentionally undereating, I was also grabbing food throughout the day out of this physical need that feels more like thirst than hunger, and yet I get more than enough water. And with all this "snacking" I am losing weight, so I am glad my body has come up with this mechanism to be sure I don't undereat anymore.
But back to feeling thin, I love seeing a flat stomach in the morning. Then I see that I have nice curves and am very happy with my body. Even my thighs are starting to bother me less (that's where most of my fat goes, along with loads of muscle: I have very short, chunky soccer legs). Finally being in the 140s is like a miracle to me, like I can see the end of the tunnel, not just a tiny sparkling light dot. I am only 9-14 pounds from it, and then it will be real discipline time. Time to fine tune my body so it becomes as averse to weight gain as possible :)
Alright, off to work in the dark, cold morning. Have a nice day anyone out there (echoes)
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