changes

I think I figured out the problem with me. I have been exhausted for over a week now, with no clear-cut explanation. I just realized this morning I haven't eaten any red meat in weeks. I think I am low on iron. In fact, I know I've been eating less than I should, but there are several reasons for this. For one, I can't really pay for lots of groceries right now, so I have to use them sparingly. Also, my schedule is pretty chaotic and I've missed a few meals here and there lately. Finally, I am just not that into food these days, but I think this is because I'm feeling exhausted. It's a vicious cycle.

Most importantly, I always get weak and sleepy when I haven't eaten red meat in a while, so usually once a week I try to eat some. Even though my favourite meat is a good steak, I rarely eat red meat, but lately it's been especially rare. So I just made a salad with a steak, and I even made a second one and put it sliced on top of another salad for tomorrow's lunch.

After dropping to 148 then back up to 153 post-Thanksgiving, I am back down to 149-150. Aside from undereating, I am happy about the weight loss. I should be working out a bit more than I am, or not so much more, but more effectively, but I'm being forgiving since I have a lot on my plate mentally and emotionally with this move. I am having a mixed bag of feelings: I am thrilled, esctatic even, about having my own new apartment and moving on with my life; at the same time I am feeling sad about parting with a part of my life (my ex and my first home) which, no matter how unhealthy it all was for me, had become comfortable and does have it's up sides that I will miss dearly. Lastly, I am feeling exhausted at the thought of packing, moving, buying new furniture, sorting out my life, and so on. It feels like everything in the last 4 years has been a challenge and it's never easy and settled. I keep looking forward to being able to save money and take a vacation, and it keeps not happening, so now I am skeptical I'll ever get there, and it's sucking my motivation.

Anyway, things are changing and some new things are exciting. I was asked out by a guy from volleyball, and while I am uninterested, he is a sweet guy and it feels good to know anyone out there finds me interesting and attractive. Gives me hope for the future dating I'll undoubtedly have to go through in the coming years.

Alright. Back to work starting to get myself ready for this move...