Bleh

Hiya!

Not much to report today I'm afraid. I have medium motivation, am still at the same weight and am eating my regular stuff... I had to cook veal and Brussels sprouts this morning for my lunch since I ended up going out to a patio restaurant and cafe yesterday to enjoy the heat and sunshine, and didn't get home in time to cook. There I had seabass with rice and vegetables and a glass of wine. My workout was a little shorter (40 minutes) because I had to cook and because I was sleepy and I'm a tad bloated.

OH! I bought new jeans! I have gone down a few sizes so far (from 33-34 to 30) :) I haven't been a 30 in I don't know how long, so that was a bit of a rush. More exciting though is that I won't have my clothes hanging off me like I'm wearing my dad's stuff. Yesterday was pathetic, I looked ridiculous with my only black pants (and pants without holes) being now about 10 sizes too big and practically falling off. Then, a stretched out tank top that's almost see-through from wear and tear under a green shirt that is supposed to be fitted and now just looks silly. I felt it was now critical to get some clothes to get me through this interim phase of my weight loss.

I got just one pair of jeans, one top and two tank tops. I figure this should be fine for the next few weeks, then I'll slowly need to find clothes that I may still be able to wear when I lose more weight. I will definitely be needing new workout pants soon: not only are they becoming worn in from constant use, but I sat down the other day and realized the fabric over my belly and the tops of my thighs is all loose and baggy. They still fit, but I will need a new pair in the next month probably.

I felt a difference at the store yesterday that I liked. I noticed that I could consider new kinds of clothing styles I would typically shun for fear of exposing a roll, a bulge or too much boob. Now, with time, I will be able to wear more revealing clothes (not to say I will abuse that). Even yesterday I went out in a tank top, something I haven't had the nerve to do in years because my arms were becoming less and less appealing :) It felt great!

I also noticed something trivial the other day, but it's these stupid little things I notice day by day that make me happy and keep me going: I can now comfortably sit with legs crossed on a couch and cross my arms over my chest. It feels great to make myself all tied up and compact like that, and it's something I couldn't do before. My legs would fling back open, or my crossed arms would slowly unfold under the pressure of my bust. Sounds odd if you've never had this problem (there are many other problems associated with chestage but I'll spare you), but in any case, having a smaller chest makes me feel thinner, more sporty and sexier.

Basically, once I get into the 150s, I will look like I did in high school, which is probably why I am feeling like I look younger. I want to get back to my petite self, and get back a body that shows that I am athletic rather than chubby, but also still a little curvy and soft so I still feel womanly. This is my idea of a perfect me, and though I still cannot even come close to visualizing me as a thinner person, that is ultimately what I would like to see reflected in the mirror.

Alright, I have to go. Turns out I did have a bunch to say I guess! I am a little spaced so I'm not really sure if this makes any sense. In any case, have a great day!