fitness

Hey everybody!

I feel better this week. I've started to push myself again, slowly, and it feels great.

I started with the easiest (for me... I this would be the toughest for most): exercise. I realized I've only beeing doing running and volleyball. That's nothing to scoff at, but still, it's mainly cardio and not too big a challenge for me. I had let muscle/resistance training become a thing of the past, thus turning my almost wonderful abs to mush. So this week, here was my approach: I started taking walks at lunch again. To do this, I either have to eat at my desk before or get something takeout. I'll get to my lunches further down. So 20-minute-ish walks at lunch, plus volleyball twice this week, running last Sunday, running to volleyball and walking back Monday, AND did an awesome class with a former professional boxer called "intense cardio". It was great cardio, but more importantly for me, his classes work ALL muscle groups. Including the oft-overlooked back.

Food-wise, I did a teeeeenie tiny bit of groceries, and had some leftovers from the weekend, so all my breakfasts and dinners were homemade. All my lunches were meal replacement smoothies from Liquid Nutrition, with chocolate Vega Whole Food Optimizer added. Now I am not particularly fond of replacing ACTUAL food with powdered, dried, or pill-shaped foods, but I gave it a try. I had one every day this week. The two smoothies I alternated between are high in calories (600 and 450 respectively) so I am not starving myself. The aim was to try to replace the nutrients I am NOT getting because I am not eating homemade lunches, and see what the Vega is good for. So far, I've felt more energetic this week than I have in months, though mood-wise it's the beginning of the PMS cycle, which always starts on a ridiculous high, where I become uber productive at home and at work, am super pleasant... which eventually morphs into the dark, brooding, unhappy, complacent and depressed me as my period approaches. Anyway, for now I am riding the happy wave.

Speaking of happy, I bought a ton of underwear today (10 pairs for $30) and they are mostly SUPER FUNKY! I am a big fan of fashion right now, since it's all about fluorescents and flowers and crazy patterns and shit. I like many different looks, but I've always had a soft spot for ridiculously bright colours.

In other happy news, I totally forgot until yesterday that we have tomorrow off since it is Canada Day. I will use the day to sleep in, get a lot of cleaning done, go play some free beach volleyball, and enjoy some me time.

Alright, I am off to lie down for a few minutes before I head to vball. Have a great evening, and make this week the week you start pushing yourself again. Go go go!

The importance of measuring

Not much time to write, but felt it is important to remind everyone to take measurements in addition to looking at the scale. The scale is fickle.

I have been down lately because I'm feeling out of shape, but thanks to measuring, I know my shape hasn't changed much at all. I might not be as tight, but I am still the same size despite my weight having gone up significantly.

I am back to 140, and will keep pushing. I am going to an intense cardio class tonight, vball tomorrow, perhaps running (or nothing) on Friday, bootcamp Saturday, then MAYBE some parkour on Sunday... but I'll need a break at some point, so it will be Friday or Sunday.

Need to get my head back in the game. Need groceries and motivation to cook. For now, starting to count calories approximately again and it's working.

Have a great day!

Getting back to it

slowly.

I'm back to blogging, back to watching calorie intake and being a little more cautious about what I eat. I was back to 141 this morning. phew! I would really, really like to get to 135 soon. The lowest I got was 135 for about a split second, and it will be tougher than usual, but I need to start pushing myself again.

If nothing else, I try as hard as I can (when I run out of groceries) to always, always eat breakfast at home and healthy. This is so that I give myself a good start to the day and know that I've eaten low-cal so my lunch can be more substantial.

I need to be careful because I'm going to visit family tonight, and that's always where I veer off-track the most. I also have a restaurant dinner coming up. I need to get back to my habit of looking at the menu beforehand (online) and choosing what I'll eat in advance, so I don't succumb to my whims.

Alright, just polishing up a bowl of organic Greek yog, almonds, blueberries and high fibre Kashi cereal, plus two tiny nectarines, and I'm off to work.

Have a great day!

It's high time I got back to this!

Okay, so. I know, I know, it's been far too long. I've neglected my blog and the kind people who read it.

Essentially, I've had to neglect many things these days. The past few months I was having a burnout, causing me to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. In order to bring myself back to zero, recharge, reset, I had to pause my social obligations to focus on giving myself "me" time, and sadly, work.

I was getting a lot of freelance work, which means I would come home from a full-time shift of brain work at a computer, rush to eat whatever I could scrounge up, then continue to work all night. This went on for weeks.

I also have some fairly substantial and distressing family issues happening. My grandma was hospitalized earlier this year for a heart attack, then my aunt, then my other aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer, which sent my grandma back to the hospital for anxiety, and one of my aunts has knee problems, and they are all trying to care for each other, while my bastard of an uncle is there, helping no one and creating an additional burden for my family.

I had some friendships to mend lately too.

But as far as I am concerned, my life is great regardless. Bad things happen, and it's how you cope with them that makes the difference. I have stopped losing weight, and have been fluctuating between staying relatively stable at 139-140, and jumping to 145 at times and then getting myself back under control. I am a little down sometimes because I know I'm not putting in what I should be to my diet and exercise, but I have committed to running and volleyball, which is about all I can handle right now. Plus, household chores, including groceries, are the first thing to take a backseat when I become overwhelmed with all the commitments I have, but I am always being very, very careful to make wise food choices, even if they cost an arm and a leg.

The BEST news I have is that I have officially run 10KM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHoooolllyy sheeeet! I might have done almost 11km in fact, in 1:10:00ish. Now my goal is to apply my ability to run for that long to make it from my house to my grandma's place. Then once I do that, I'll set some new goals.

I wanted to have a killer bikini body by July, which aint gonna happen, but I'm content to just be maintaining for now, since I don't want to push myself into another burnout. I have a lot to manage emotionally right now, so when things are calmer, I will focus once again on pushing my physical and mental limits.

I just had an amazing birthday week, with so many amazing people around me. And my boyfriend is just about the best thing since sliced bread. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he made me turn the car around without explaining why, just saying he forgot something, then made me pull over, walk into a flower shop, and pick a bouquet. I responded "for who, my family?" (we were spending time with my family this weekend), and he told me no, they were just for me. I melted. In fact I nearly cried. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

This is but one of many things he does to support and show his love for me, and he has no idea the effect it has. I am exploding inside, so to avoid making all my friends sick by gushing about it, I chose to blog my rainbowy love. He understands how much damage I have from my past, and he does everything to show me I'm worth more, and I consider myself lucky. Intensely.

Alright, so that's my news. I hope to start blogging more frequently, but we'll see how my life unravels in the weeks and months to come. I may have to dedicate more time to family, but I'll do my best, for my readers, but most of all, for my own well-being.

I hope you're all sustaining your motivation and taking great care of yourselves. No matter what's happening, that should always come first, otherwise you're eventually useless to everyone. And no one else can do it for you.

bad, bad blogger.

I am sorry it's been so long. I'm mostly sorry to myself. But for anyone who finds any value or interest in my posts, I apologize as well... I will be back. I am taking a few weeks off because I need to cut a few things out at the moment.

Some intense family stuff is happening, and I recently almost had a total burnout, so I am taking steps to take better care of myself and those around me.

By the way though, I ran 10 km two nights ago. AAAAHHH!!! My least likely goal has been accomplished!

Still at 140, and feeling fairly good about myself for now, but still have my sights set on another 10 lb loss eventually.

Issss myyyy birfday

And am loving all the messages I am getting from friends, family and others I haven't heard from in ages. That's my favourite part of the whole thing.

All my wishes have already come true, so no need for more, will just enjoy my day and wish that it lasts forever :)

Off to get ready for work, booo.

alas, a new post!

I am sorry for being away so long. I also can't guarantee another post in the immediate future, but I wanted to let you all know I haven't jumped ship completely.

To sums things up, I had a burnout. Or started to anyway. With work, freelance projects, social and family obligations, etc., I was starting to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. I reached a point where I cancelled all "extras" and only worked, to give myself time to sleep. I am feeling much better now, and my boyfriend is taking me away for three days in a cottage by a lake for my birthday, which is just what the doctor ordered.

I thought, if anything, I should mention (since my weight loss has stagnated and I don't have much to say these days) that I ran my very first 5 KM race on Sunday. My time was 28:14:4... not bad, not amazing, but not bad.

Considering I hated running up until about two months ago, I am thrilled. I am continuing to challenge myself and push my limits. For my own pleasure, I ran for 60 minutes on Friday (almost 10 km)... so I think my goal of making it to 10 km will be accomplished sooner than later.

Eating is fairly on track and exercise too. All that's missing right now is proper sleep. I am counting down the minutes til I leave for the cottage on Thursday, eeeeeee!!!

I hope you're all doing amazingly. I will catch up with all your blogs when I have a bit more time. Plus I have more stuff to talk about eventually.