Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Reasons Being Busty Ain't That Glam

There are many reasons why big breasts are beautiful and lovely and wonderfully powerful (e.g. breastfeeding), but today I would like to share my pet peeves about being a large-chested lady. A few notes before I begin: my opinions apply solely to my own tatas and are not a judgment on any one else's, since I have seen some big boobs that probably defy some of the common complaints I list; also, I have at one point been a small chested lady (I was once very heavy, then quite thin, and now am on the curvier side again thanks to breastfeeding and having carried twins).

1. The ogling. Oh the ogling. It started when I was a mere 12 or 13 years old and never stopped until a few years back I brought my bazoongas back down to a reasonable B cup. For a glorious four or five years I was spared the embarrassment (for both parties) of having my breasts constantly stared at, and I had all but forgotten what it was like before. Now my breasts are back with a vengeance and so, too, are the stares: from cars, in shops, on the street... I am looking forward to when they shrivel up after breastfeeding is done so I can go back to only being approached by the creepiest of creeps, not a much larger group of inappropriate people. That is far more manageable.

2. The comments / touching. Okay, so this doesn't happen anywhere near as much, if at all, now that I am in my thirties and a mother, but I have had repeated comments about the size of my breasts. This doesn't actually bother me that much depending who is doing the remarking, but in my family my chest size has always been fodder for light jokes (along with those of my aunt and a few other well-endowed relatives). The touching, on the other hand, does not happen anymore. Thank God. No one really believes me or they are outright shocked when I tell them that people used to randomly grab my breasts with and without consent (and I am not talking about intimate partners here). I admit that I was very much relaxed about my body and I am a touchy person too, but with age I have learned about this little thing called a boundary. I have set some boundaries. Some of what I have experienced would classify as assault while other experiences would probably fall under inappropriate but not unwelcome jokes among friends. The other thing is that men in bars used to seem to think it was okay to try to pick me up by commenting on my chest, which I was usually trying to hide. Typically, that would earn them a shot of me putting them down rather harshly and belittling them.

3. Boob sweat. Female equivalent of ball sweat. The one advantage I have over men is the lift/separate effect of braziers.

4. Being unable to find industrial-strength sports bras. There are a few factors at play in my case: small rib cage, large cup size BUT with not so plump and perky breasts. Most thick sportsbras are great for large chests that are actually not too heavy and nice and plump.But for floppy, heavy boobs, their elastic straps equal 0 support while running and the potential for overflow from just about anywhere. I always have to buy bras that are about 2 sizes too small and then wiggle and squeeze my way into them (since I cannot get enough support from ones with elastic) until the ladies are locked down as if I were taping down my chest. When I do find a good one I usually wear it for the next 10 years because it is very hard to find any other good ones.

5. No backless dresses and generally nothing strapless either. Boo. I used to like my back a lot and always wished I could wear and open-back dress, but it just cannot happen.

6. Having big boobs makes you look fatter than you actually are. Now I am less concerned about fatness than I used to be (when I was a lot more insecure), but still it bothers me that unless I wear very fitted clothes, I look much heavier. I see girls wearing all these effortless, flowy fashions and know that I will look like an old lady wearing a moo moo if I were to wear the same thing.

7. Falling out of bras. Well, when I wear the proper size bras this isn't much of an issue, but when you are breastfeeding, your breasts change size throughout the day, so this is a constant concern. I have to change into a walking bra, and consider my bra choice if I am to be moving a lot or bending down or wearing my purse between my breasts, etc.

8. I always felt that having large breasts made me seem older. Maybe that's because the fashion choices for larger women used to be pretty horrid, or maybe that's because moms tend to have larger breasts because of having had children and such, and that's not the image I wanted to project when I was younger. I never really had age issues, but this was something I would think to myself in the angry rage that is getting dressed up to go out.

Okay, I think that's enough. Just felt like sharing a little of the downside of being busty. There are some upsides, but those are constantly thrown in our face (no pun intended) in the media and advertising, so I don't think those merit listing.

Have a bosomy day ladies!

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