I am attempting a whole second blog post in the same day. Ooh la la!
I will make it quick.
The reason I want to put this out in the Interverse is because I have been trying to do some research on this and have come up basically empty-handed apart from a handful of women's posts on discussion forums.
I suffer from night sweats. I am NOT in perimenopause or menopausal. I am not in poor health and do not have any illnesses to speak of. There is a slight possibility of low thyroid levels but that remains to be tested.
The only information pertaining to night sweats on the entire Interweb is related to menopause. There are a few sites that point to its relationship to breastfeeding and ovulation, but no one explains what is at play in those cases.
I have suffered from night sweats for a few years. In my case it happens about once or twice a month around the time I ovulate. This doesn't bother me so much but is still an irritant. Your body temperature spikes right after ovulation, which probably explains this. When I first started breastfeeding, I suffered from almost constant night sweats. Any time my babies would increase my supply (by feeding more often), it would get far worse. Now that nursing happens only about 5-6 times a day, I don't really get them apart from around ovulation now that I am menstruating again. However, for the first few minutes of EVERY feeding session, I break into a sweat.
Also interesting is that the sweating is partly concentrated around my chest and my ovaries (my gut, a very odd place to sweat).
I read one woman's blog on the Scientific American site (she appears to be the only person who has done any research into this), and she also finds a correlation with intense physical activity (especially in the evening) and night sweats. I play beach volleyball, usually late in the evening.
So if there are any scientists/researchers out there looking for an untouched subject to explore, PLEASE figure out what causes night sweats in healthy, physically active women who are breastfeeding and/or menstruating (not perimenopausal). Some very surface-level theories are already out there, but nothing conclusive and no solutions either. I would be deeply appreciative :)
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Reasons Being Busty Ain't That Glam
There are many reasons why big breasts are beautiful and lovely and wonderfully powerful (e.g. breastfeeding), but today I would like to share my pet peeves about being a large-chested lady. A few notes before I begin: my opinions apply solely to my own tatas and are not a judgment on any one else's, since I have seen some big boobs that probably defy some of the common complaints I list; also, I have at one point been a small chested lady (I was once very heavy, then quite thin, and now am on the curvier side again thanks to breastfeeding and having carried twins).
1. The ogling. Oh the ogling. It started when I was a mere 12 or 13 years old and never stopped until a few years back I brought my bazoongas back down to a reasonable B cup. For a glorious four or five years I was spared the embarrassment (for both parties) of having my breasts constantly stared at, and I had all but forgotten what it was like before. Now my breasts are back with a vengeance and so, too, are the stares: from cars, in shops, on the street... I am looking forward to when they shrivel up after breastfeeding is done so I can go back to only being approached by the creepiest of creeps, not a much larger group of inappropriate people. That is far more manageable.
2. The comments / touching. Okay, so this doesn't happen anywhere near as much, if at all, now that I am in my thirties and a mother, but I have had repeated comments about the size of my breasts. This doesn't actually bother me that much depending who is doing the remarking, but in my family my chest size has always been fodder for light jokes (along with those of my aunt and a few other well-endowed relatives). The touching, on the other hand, does not happen anymore. Thank God. No one really believes me or they are outright shocked when I tell them that people used to randomly grab my breasts with and without consent (and I am not talking about intimate partners here). I admit that I was very much relaxed about my body and I am a touchy person too, but with age I have learned about this little thing called a boundary. I have set some boundaries. Some of what I have experienced would classify as assault while other experiences would probably fall under inappropriate but not unwelcome jokes among friends. The other thing is that men in bars used to seem to think it was okay to try to pick me up by commenting on my chest, which I was usually trying to hide. Typically, that would earn them a shot of me putting them down rather harshly and belittling them.
3. Boob sweat. Female equivalent of ball sweat. The one advantage I have over men is the lift/separate effect of braziers.
4. Being unable to find industrial-strength sports bras. There are a few factors at play in my case: small rib cage, large cup size BUT with not so plump and perky breasts. Most thick sportsbras are great for large chests that are actually not too heavy and nice and plump.But for floppy, heavy boobs, their elastic straps equal 0 support while running and the potential for overflow from just about anywhere. I always have to buy bras that are about 2 sizes too small and then wiggle and squeeze my way into them (since I cannot get enough support from ones with elastic) until the ladies are locked down as if I were taping down my chest. When I do find a good one I usually wear it for the next 10 years because it is very hard to find any other good ones.
5. No backless dresses and generally nothing strapless either. Boo. I used to like my back a lot and always wished I could wear and open-back dress, but it just cannot happen.
6. Having big boobs makes you look fatter than you actually are. Now I am less concerned about fatness than I used to be (when I was a lot more insecure), but still it bothers me that unless I wear very fitted clothes, I look much heavier. I see girls wearing all these effortless, flowy fashions and know that I will look like an old lady wearing a moo moo if I were to wear the same thing.
7. Falling out of bras. Well, when I wear the proper size bras this isn't much of an issue, but when you are breastfeeding, your breasts change size throughout the day, so this is a constant concern. I have to change into a walking bra, and consider my bra choice if I am to be moving a lot or bending down or wearing my purse between my breasts, etc.
8. I always felt that having large breasts made me seem older. Maybe that's because the fashion choices for larger women used to be pretty horrid, or maybe that's because moms tend to have larger breasts because of having had children and such, and that's not the image I wanted to project when I was younger. I never really had age issues, but this was something I would think to myself in the angry rage that is getting dressed up to go out.
Okay, I think that's enough. Just felt like sharing a little of the downside of being busty. There are some upsides, but those are constantly thrown in our face (no pun intended) in the media and advertising, so I don't think those merit listing.
Have a bosomy day ladies!
1. The ogling. Oh the ogling. It started when I was a mere 12 or 13 years old and never stopped until a few years back I brought my bazoongas back down to a reasonable B cup. For a glorious four or five years I was spared the embarrassment (for both parties) of having my breasts constantly stared at, and I had all but forgotten what it was like before. Now my breasts are back with a vengeance and so, too, are the stares: from cars, in shops, on the street... I am looking forward to when they shrivel up after breastfeeding is done so I can go back to only being approached by the creepiest of creeps, not a much larger group of inappropriate people. That is far more manageable.
2. The comments / touching. Okay, so this doesn't happen anywhere near as much, if at all, now that I am in my thirties and a mother, but I have had repeated comments about the size of my breasts. This doesn't actually bother me that much depending who is doing the remarking, but in my family my chest size has always been fodder for light jokes (along with those of my aunt and a few other well-endowed relatives). The touching, on the other hand, does not happen anymore. Thank God. No one really believes me or they are outright shocked when I tell them that people used to randomly grab my breasts with and without consent (and I am not talking about intimate partners here). I admit that I was very much relaxed about my body and I am a touchy person too, but with age I have learned about this little thing called a boundary. I have set some boundaries. Some of what I have experienced would classify as assault while other experiences would probably fall under inappropriate but not unwelcome jokes among friends. The other thing is that men in bars used to seem to think it was okay to try to pick me up by commenting on my chest, which I was usually trying to hide. Typically, that would earn them a shot of me putting them down rather harshly and belittling them.
3. Boob sweat. Female equivalent of ball sweat. The one advantage I have over men is the lift/separate effect of braziers.
4. Being unable to find industrial-strength sports bras. There are a few factors at play in my case: small rib cage, large cup size BUT with not so plump and perky breasts. Most thick sportsbras are great for large chests that are actually not too heavy and nice and plump.But for floppy, heavy boobs, their elastic straps equal 0 support while running and the potential for overflow from just about anywhere. I always have to buy bras that are about 2 sizes too small and then wiggle and squeeze my way into them (since I cannot get enough support from ones with elastic) until the ladies are locked down as if I were taping down my chest. When I do find a good one I usually wear it for the next 10 years because it is very hard to find any other good ones.
5. No backless dresses and generally nothing strapless either. Boo. I used to like my back a lot and always wished I could wear and open-back dress, but it just cannot happen.
6. Having big boobs makes you look fatter than you actually are. Now I am less concerned about fatness than I used to be (when I was a lot more insecure), but still it bothers me that unless I wear very fitted clothes, I look much heavier. I see girls wearing all these effortless, flowy fashions and know that I will look like an old lady wearing a moo moo if I were to wear the same thing.
7. Falling out of bras. Well, when I wear the proper size bras this isn't much of an issue, but when you are breastfeeding, your breasts change size throughout the day, so this is a constant concern. I have to change into a walking bra, and consider my bra choice if I am to be moving a lot or bending down or wearing my purse between my breasts, etc.
8. I always felt that having large breasts made me seem older. Maybe that's because the fashion choices for larger women used to be pretty horrid, or maybe that's because moms tend to have larger breasts because of having had children and such, and that's not the image I wanted to project when I was younger. I never really had age issues, but this was something I would think to myself in the angry rage that is getting dressed up to go out.
Okay, I think that's enough. Just felt like sharing a little of the downside of being busty. There are some upsides, but those are constantly thrown in our face (no pun intended) in the media and advertising, so I don't think those merit listing.
Have a bosomy day ladies!
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Myths about pregnancy
So I thought I would share some myths and/or misconceptions that are rampant surrounding pregnancy and childbirth (women who plan on having kids one day take note).
1. You will not give a s--- that you don't have your period. Why? Because you are most likely replacing that with 10 or more other pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, dizzy spells, acid reflux, ligament pains, mood swings and hemorrhoids. Of course SOME women at least love pregnancy at some point in the process, but there's a good chance a lot of it will suck. Also, whether you have a vaginal or caesarean delivery, things will get ugly, messy and painful for at least a few weeks afterward, in worse ways than any period. The good news is that you will probably not mind your period as much when it returns.
2. Breastfeeding does NOT make everyone lose weight. Like every single other aspect of pregnancy, you cannot generalize because everything just "depends". I am breastfeeding twins and have not lost a pound in 4 months. I have been eating a lot but gradually started eating well and very recently started exercising and I am losing weight at the same rate as pre-pregnancy.
3. You will probably either LOVE your body and/or HATE it during the pregnancy and you'll probably be panicking about "destroying your body". Know this: you cannot prevent stretch marks with cream; it is mostly genetic. And your body will most likely not look half as bad as you thought it would since it truly is a magical vessel. But also, you will probably care a lot less and be more forgiving of your "flaws" because of how you got them and what they represent. Also, the uncompromising love you suddenly feel for your child may rub off on how you see yourself. And a tip: don't be like all these new moms who are super stressed about getting back to pre-pregnancy weight in the first year; just give yourself a goddamn break, focus on being present for your family and then ease back into being active when it feels good. Do it for the energy, not for the fat loss.
5. Yes,you should probably exercise and watch your weight while pregnant but, like me, your hormones may take over your whole being and make that impossible and that is okay too. Don't listen to anyone but your doctor.
6. Fuck average. "They" say so many things about the average pregnancy, but every one I know had a different experience. I gained 85 lbs when the average for a twin pregnancy is about 35 or 40. I lost 55 of it within 2 weeks, then another 5. This means I have 25 more to go. BUT, my big ol' breastfeeding knockers weigh nearly 10 pounds so that means I essentially have the same 15 lbs to lose that the "average" woman is left with. Booyah. I am six months in and just now have the time and energy to start getting more active. I tried earlier and it just made me angry, so I just waited.
7. Some new moms have a super hard time, some have less of a hard time. If you are finding it impossible, you NEED to reach out and not feel bad and don't expect people to do anything: you have to tell people what you need.
8. A whole lot of people have miscarriages or have trouble conceiving and don't ever talk openly about it, so people don't realize they're not alone in grieving the loss or coping with that stress. If you ever get pregnant you will probably then understand why some people cannot just "get over" a miscarriage that quickly. As soon as you are pregnant you have hopes, expectations, dreams. You then live in a semi constant fear of anything going wrong with the pregnancy, and a lot of times the worst does happen. It is horrible. But I imagine you will survive and get through it. I have seen people I love do it and go on to have wonderful healthy kids after.
9. Nothing will be quite how you imagined. Whether you imagined it being easy or total chaos, both will probably be true. All the theories you have about the kind of parent you think you will be go out the window and you just start being whoever it is you already are but more so. Parenting may bring out the worst in you or the best. I thought pregnancy would be the easy part and delivery the hard part and it was just the opposite. I LOVED my delivery experience. Breastfeeding was really hard. Everything after delivery was really hard and so amazing too. But eventually things g9t great at about 4 months. For other people pregnancy is awesome and then the first few years hell. You could end up with twins or triplets, you could end up with a sick child, you could end up with one child who is great and then turns into a monster. Throw your expectations out the window because almost everything will probably work out in the end.
10. People project all their crap onto their own and other people's kids. SO many people have told me that if I were pregnant with a boy and a girl (rather than my identical twin boys) then I would be "done". As if a boy/girl combo os some ideal. Well fuck that. First of all, whatever you give birth to will probably be awesome in your eyes. Secondly, there is no perfect formula for a family. You could have two dads, one mom, 6 kids, all girls, two gay sons, one transgendered daughter, one boy or girl who acts more like the other gender. Stop making everything so boring and obvious. I ended up with twins and had wanted 2 kids (depending how we did with 1). Now I am even open to the possibility of more, but I may also just tell myself no because you cannot expect your next child to be anything like the first.
11. For me, the love I feel for my boys is soft and subtle and tender. I am not this Lioness mom I thought I would be. I don't feel overwhelmed but I feel at peace and full of love. I feel deeply appreciative of the fact we were lucky enough to get pregnant so easily and to have two easy boys. I feel more open and less judgemental and more empathetic. I feel FAR more cautious though. I take NO risks because I could never forgive myself if that one time I didn't do this or that hurt my boys in any way. You may not even feel any attachment to your baby when they are first born. Don't be ashamed, just speak to someone about it. It could just take you a while or you may be depressed and not think you are. You are not a terrible mom. Hormones control everything. Every. Single. Thing.
Good luck.
1. You will not give a s--- that you don't have your period. Why? Because you are most likely replacing that with 10 or more other pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, dizzy spells, acid reflux, ligament pains, mood swings and hemorrhoids. Of course SOME women at least love pregnancy at some point in the process, but there's a good chance a lot of it will suck. Also, whether you have a vaginal or caesarean delivery, things will get ugly, messy and painful for at least a few weeks afterward, in worse ways than any period. The good news is that you will probably not mind your period as much when it returns.
2. Breastfeeding does NOT make everyone lose weight. Like every single other aspect of pregnancy, you cannot generalize because everything just "depends". I am breastfeeding twins and have not lost a pound in 4 months. I have been eating a lot but gradually started eating well and very recently started exercising and I am losing weight at the same rate as pre-pregnancy.
3. You will probably either LOVE your body and/or HATE it during the pregnancy and you'll probably be panicking about "destroying your body". Know this: you cannot prevent stretch marks with cream; it is mostly genetic. And your body will most likely not look half as bad as you thought it would since it truly is a magical vessel. But also, you will probably care a lot less and be more forgiving of your "flaws" because of how you got them and what they represent. Also, the uncompromising love you suddenly feel for your child may rub off on how you see yourself. And a tip: don't be like all these new moms who are super stressed about getting back to pre-pregnancy weight in the first year; just give yourself a goddamn break, focus on being present for your family and then ease back into being active when it feels good. Do it for the energy, not for the fat loss.
5. Yes,you should probably exercise and watch your weight while pregnant but, like me, your hormones may take over your whole being and make that impossible and that is okay too. Don't listen to anyone but your doctor.
6. Fuck average. "They" say so many things about the average pregnancy, but every one I know had a different experience. I gained 85 lbs when the average for a twin pregnancy is about 35 or 40. I lost 55 of it within 2 weeks, then another 5. This means I have 25 more to go. BUT, my big ol' breastfeeding knockers weigh nearly 10 pounds so that means I essentially have the same 15 lbs to lose that the "average" woman is left with. Booyah. I am six months in and just now have the time and energy to start getting more active. I tried earlier and it just made me angry, so I just waited.
7. Some new moms have a super hard time, some have less of a hard time. If you are finding it impossible, you NEED to reach out and not feel bad and don't expect people to do anything: you have to tell people what you need.
8. A whole lot of people have miscarriages or have trouble conceiving and don't ever talk openly about it, so people don't realize they're not alone in grieving the loss or coping with that stress. If you ever get pregnant you will probably then understand why some people cannot just "get over" a miscarriage that quickly. As soon as you are pregnant you have hopes, expectations, dreams. You then live in a semi constant fear of anything going wrong with the pregnancy, and a lot of times the worst does happen. It is horrible. But I imagine you will survive and get through it. I have seen people I love do it and go on to have wonderful healthy kids after.
9. Nothing will be quite how you imagined. Whether you imagined it being easy or total chaos, both will probably be true. All the theories you have about the kind of parent you think you will be go out the window and you just start being whoever it is you already are but more so. Parenting may bring out the worst in you or the best. I thought pregnancy would be the easy part and delivery the hard part and it was just the opposite. I LOVED my delivery experience. Breastfeeding was really hard. Everything after delivery was really hard and so amazing too. But eventually things g9t great at about 4 months. For other people pregnancy is awesome and then the first few years hell. You could end up with twins or triplets, you could end up with a sick child, you could end up with one child who is great and then turns into a monster. Throw your expectations out the window because almost everything will probably work out in the end.
10. People project all their crap onto their own and other people's kids. SO many people have told me that if I were pregnant with a boy and a girl (rather than my identical twin boys) then I would be "done". As if a boy/girl combo os some ideal. Well fuck that. First of all, whatever you give birth to will probably be awesome in your eyes. Secondly, there is no perfect formula for a family. You could have two dads, one mom, 6 kids, all girls, two gay sons, one transgendered daughter, one boy or girl who acts more like the other gender. Stop making everything so boring and obvious. I ended up with twins and had wanted 2 kids (depending how we did with 1). Now I am even open to the possibility of more, but I may also just tell myself no because you cannot expect your next child to be anything like the first.
11. For me, the love I feel for my boys is soft and subtle and tender. I am not this Lioness mom I thought I would be. I don't feel overwhelmed but I feel at peace and full of love. I feel deeply appreciative of the fact we were lucky enough to get pregnant so easily and to have two easy boys. I feel more open and less judgemental and more empathetic. I feel FAR more cautious though. I take NO risks because I could never forgive myself if that one time I didn't do this or that hurt my boys in any way. You may not even feel any attachment to your baby when they are first born. Don't be ashamed, just speak to someone about it. It could just take you a while or you may be depressed and not think you are. You are not a terrible mom. Hormones control everything. Every. Single. Thing.
Good luck.
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