Weirdness.

I'm bad, very bad. I am sneaking Halloween candy every chance I get. Luckily, there's not so much available that I couldn't undo the damage if I were to binge, but the fact I cannot tell myself no at all right now worries me.

Finances are a major source of stress at the moment, so I can't buy all the groceries I need or want to be able to eat veggie-rich meals all day every day... I have to be economical. This means I can only afford to buy in small doses. I run out quickly, then a few days go by until I replenish, at which time I eat out. As a result, my eating patterns are all over the map.

Luckily for me, with my new scale, I am reminded to go buy veggies and fruit and get back on track. I am at 147 lbs. It is hovering around there, give or take, but I see it is NOT going down. I know I can get to at least 143 before plateauing, because my body appears to plateau every 10 lbs, at 183, 173, 163, 153... like clockwork. I would be thrilled to get to 143. I just don't have much motivation for cooking.

I have been cooking a bit, and I have all the implements even though I just moved. However, change always affects me a lot, and it takes ages before I get into a routine. Things have been anything but routine lately, which is why I am grateful for 3 nights of vball and weekly outings to the same old place with the same 1-2 friends, which keeps me sane.

I have a guest coming for 3 days, and I have absolutely less than no money to buy food to feed her. I ashamedly warned her that pickings are slim and I feel terrible as a host but I can't stock the fridge as I usually would when a guest comes. I can barely stock it for me. The debt keeps piling up while I wait for a cheque that is tangled in legal traps. I can't ever just get back on my feet and start over... I will likely give up a night of vball after Christmas to save myself a few bucks, and I'll have to find free workouts. Luckily, I've discovered TrainingMobs.com, which is a site started recently for people looking for free workouts around the city. For now it's only in my city, but as people sign up, they will create Mobs for other cities... So this weekend, my guest and I will be attending 3 different free workouts: two different types of cross-fit class and one zumba class. Though we may not have the energy for all three...

So workout wise I am trying to compensate for poor eating. That's a good thing, but I want to stay balanced. Plus, I have a cold so I need to eat well to get rid of that asap. I'm in a blah mood these days, so apologies for the ongoing ranting and rambling...my thoughts are infintely scattered.