Can someone boost me back onto this horse?

It's Day... whatever... and I am starting again. I will go to the gym tonight after having the dreaded three-day break. I always go in telling myself "if you do just 10-20 minutes, that's okay," and inevitbly end up doing more. Mind games baby, it's all about the mind games. It's actually amazing how you can be fully aware you are playing mind tricks and yet still fall for it.

I have been careful about what I eat all week except my pasta breakdown the other night. It's the working out I am finding difficult to stick to. For me, routine is the only thing that keeps me together. If I break the routine, everything gets messed up. People have criticized me a lot for having to be so anal about working out, eating or sleeping at specific times, but that is what holds everything together: the routine.

Last year I tried to relax the routine to give myself and my loved ones more time, and preserve energy. I dropped organized sports, started saying 'no' to some events/jobs, etc. But I never succeeded in losing or even maintaining my weight that way, I gained 10 lbs while consistently trying to lose weight.

I need to find the middle ground, and I believe it's this: I need to remember all the little things I did to maintain / lose weight when I first started out. I never drank anything with calories in it (water and espresso and tea basically), I snacked ONLY on healthy treats, I chose my meals at restaurants in advance, I only went to restaurants once a week, I resisted bread at home and almost never ate pasta except on rare occasions, I walked at every lunch regardless of the weather, and I never sat on the metro/subway and always took the solid stairs. I will try to start applying this stuff more again, that should at least allow me to maintain.

The losing part takes more than this, especially since beach volleyball was just about the best workout ever and gives you a sexy body unlike most other similarly-intense sports, which make me look more butch :)

Alright, enough whining about my weight. It's not all bad anyway; I do feel much prettier now that my cookie pimples are all gone from my Christmas junk food fiesta.

Off to work I go I go. It's FRI-DAYYYYYY!