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I just wanted to check in to say hello.

I was 146.0 this morning. I am eating normally but haven't been back to the gym or work since the "incident" and am now trying to figure out how to face my fear so I can move forward.

I have had a bad few days and want to thank everyone for being understanding. It appears so many smart, funny, beautiful people I know have deep-seated insecurities and fears. They manifest themselves in so many different ways. Some, like me, have all our emotions right at the surface like exposed nerves. Others shift their focus or bury their feelings. Others have the good sense to force themselves to let it go. It is essentially a control issue in my case. I cannot accept things that I absolutely cannot control.

I guess it's like everything, I need to practice every day, and eventually it will be my normal.

So I am taking one last day of rest to build up the strength to deal with my everyday life--this really makes it sounds like my life is awful, which is anything but the case.

I took a long walk alone in the cold, sunny air yesterday and it did me some good. I may not be able to handle the gym just yet, but there are still other ways for me to take care.

Now I need to go eat lunch and then nap. I hope you are all doing well, even if I may be out of touch.