Brace yourself, it's about to get hokey in here!

Have you ever felt complete and utter freedom? Some people feel it when they do extreme sports, though neither bungee nor skydiving had that particular effect on me, but rather a sense of peace and admiration at the natural setting into which I was plunging.

Today, for about 1 minute, I had an overwhelming sense of freedom. I woke up at about 7:30, telling myself I had to go running 1) because it is beautiful outside, 2) because I have a million things to do and if I don't do it now I never will, and 3) because it's the only way to calm my mind so I can just start doing all those chores. So, I did all my preparations (eating a very small amount of food, this time a slice of cheese, drinking some water, etc.) and then head out for a somewhat unwelcome run.

About 10 minutes in, I was alone running along the canal and bam! Like that, I felt "this is freedom." I felt what I probably should feel (and be so grateful for) every day. The sense of security, safety, peace so many people never have the luxury of feeling. The sense of well-being that comes with having loving people in your life, a good job, a healthy body and a home.

Alright, alright, enough with that cheesy stuff. So yeah, I hauled ass and ran anout 35 minutes (roughly 5 km) and even stopped at a nearby park for 3 pull ups... though the hipster walking her dog was looking at me confusedly, so I felt awkward and left. Otherwise, I might have done some pushups and other stuff.

It's still a pain in the ass (in my mind) to get myself to workout, BUT, I also still enjoy it when I'm doing it. I can't wait for beach volleyball to start back up.

I have to go take a shower. I am eating last night's dinner for breakfast, since I'll need some fuel to get through a day of shopping. It's quite good:

Quinoa salad with walnuts, dried cranberries, spinach, salt, pepper, orange juice and olive oil. The original recipe called for thyme and pecans instead of walnuts, but I used what we had, and threw in some spinach for good measure. Oh and orange zest... that makes a big difference, can't forget that!

I can't believe it took me this long to post

I'm having troubles with procrastination lately. Too many things on my mind, so everything shuts down and all I wanna do is sleep or watch TV. Don't get me wrong, I am still doing a lot of stuff all the time, but the stuff that requires full consciousness is much less appealing these days.

With my promotion, I find that I am simply exhausted at the end of most days. It's not physical fatigue, but mental. I absorb a lot of the problems and have to stay focused on the solution. I do finish every day feeling like I accomplished something though, so it's a rewarding kind of feeling too. The days go by quickly, but more intensely than before and it takes all my energy to keep breathing and moving forward, not letting the moments of stress cloud the "bigger picture." I wish this were as easy for me to do in my personal life as it is for me at work.

In any case, all this to say I am sorry for not blogging for so long.

I have signed up for two, count em', two 5 km races in June. The first one also includes an additional 5 km run from the site to a friend's place who lives near me. I signed up to really give myself a push to run more regularly. It worked: I got home yesterday exhausted, but put on my gear and went for a 30 minute run around my hood.

The other day I did George St-Pierre's workout video Rushfit and was aching for 2 days. I think I'll start doing that one once a week.

I don't have time to say much else except that I am not pleased with myself in terms of exercise, but am walking more. Food hasn't been too great either, but I am still here, still trying.