This is a post about gifts, since I am not in the mood to discuss how very, very indulgent and lazy I've been. I'll say this though, having my hip out and my team sports being cut short early... well that would be my excuse, but really, I'm just being bad. The result is me craving energy in the form of every form of sugar imaginable, but mainly cupcakes and ice cream. In any case, I'm not here to self-flagellate, because I know that does absolutely nada. I will touch on a completely unrelated topic instead, that of gift giving.
I would like to call this little ditty "Love, don't sell it to me, mine is free."
Once upon a time...wait, no, scratch that, ALL THE TIME, I am ripping my hair out to come up with ideas for this gift or that, for this birthday or that Christmas do or any number of events for which there is a now-standard gift-giving protocol to which one must abide at the risk of losing face. It has caused me stress to the point of tears, to the point that trying to come up with ideas for just one person takes days, let alone for a list of my nearest and dearest. Anxiety has now formed around this issue.
The other day, faced with the fear of not giving something suitable to my significant other for our anniversary (since my birthday gift efforts constituted what I would call an EPIC FAIL, and Christmas is looking to be the same), I was in a state of panic. I couldn't move, figuratively speaking. But move I did. I decided to spend lunch after lunch (usually reserved for my calming walks that get me through the day), to do what everybody else does and shop, that's right, in stores, with people and all, at Christmas time, downtown. I would pick one or two stores, since my lunch is only 30 minutes, and try to brainstorm. For weeks this went on, and guess what I ended up getting after every single other idea fell through for various reasons beyond my control: the game of Battleship.
Meanwhile, in the land of the affluent, I heard talks of gifts in the hundreds of dollars not being suitable enough, and of leaving out hints for gift ideas such as jewellery and purse makers, so a girl could have "things that girls love." Ahem! I thought to myself, is that really all it boils down to nowadays, people not wanting to be perceived as 'cheap' by any means, and resorting to cliches with absolutely no meaning or depth? What girl defines the degree to which she is loved by the price of the gifts thrown at her? I, for one, do not. In fact, call me strange, but I get proportionately more excited for a small token than I do for a gift heftier in the status department.
I started to feel proud of myself for Battleship and all it represents. I felt safe in the knowledge that my significant other would not only understand that obligatory gift giving really isn't my forte, but that even if he might expect something bigger or better, he would "get" that this meant some silly time we could spend together, because THAT is what I really want, and what I really love to give.
Call me vain, cheap, or what have you, but the time people spend with me, and the time I give them, is the greatest gift.
I spent years in a relationship defined, very much against my will, by our ability to come up with distractions, things to play with. Now, I prize my current relationship, and my friendships, for the care people give me.
But I will play the game nonetheless, because I DO love those around me, and I DO wish I could give them everything. But now I am looking at things in a whole new light and trying to find my inner inspiration to get back to the simpler things.
I wish you all a sane, courteous and pleasant (if at all possible) shopping experience. Remember that the attitude you convey in such unpleasant situations will usually radiate to your fellow citizens, so be nice, even to strangers. If someone is disagreeable, show what a big person you are and quietly and discreetly proceed to kick their shins, steal their stuff and run. :)
Have a great evening kiddos!
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