hmmft!

So many things, oh so many things to say, and no desire to spend the time saying them.

Here is a summary, just so I don't fall completely off the face of the planet:

1. Weight: Successfully got back to 137 and will work hard to surpass that this week. Have been making positively sure to get in some exercise every day, mildly, and more intense actual workouts 6 days a week. I'm walking at lunch and doing all the other stuff I do basically.

2. Food: Progressively eating more homemade meals.
3. Mood: Coping with some fairly difficult feelings right now and always trying to find a reason and a solution. For now I am journaling my physical and emotional changes throughout the month, and trying to keep communication lines open and honest with those around me. I don't know what's going on in my mind, but it sucks being in it these days.

4. Lots of revelations this week, and more nights being awakened by crime on my street at precisely 3 am. I won't even explain what I saw last week, but it was mildly traumatic to see, and since then I have been on edge around sleepy time. I am actually starting to consider moving again...ugggh. I would want to stay in the same hood, but definitely further away from the bars.

I feel like all kinds of things are happening around me as I stand still. It's mostly good, some bad, and some just plain odd. Meanwhile I am here in the eye of a storm that isn't touching me, trying to figure out why I feel so sad when everything is perfect.

oh well. I guess that is my lot in life. they've always said you can't have it all.