It's high time I got back to this!

Okay, so. I know, I know, it's been far too long. I've neglected my blog and the kind people who read it.

Essentially, I've had to neglect many things these days. The past few months I was having a burnout, causing me to have anxiety attacks on a regular basis. In order to bring myself back to zero, recharge, reset, I had to pause my social obligations to focus on giving myself "me" time, and sadly, work.

I was getting a lot of freelance work, which means I would come home from a full-time shift of brain work at a computer, rush to eat whatever I could scrounge up, then continue to work all night. This went on for weeks.

I also have some fairly substantial and distressing family issues happening. My grandma was hospitalized earlier this year for a heart attack, then my aunt, then my other aunt was diagnosed with stomach cancer, which sent my grandma back to the hospital for anxiety, and one of my aunts has knee problems, and they are all trying to care for each other, while my bastard of an uncle is there, helping no one and creating an additional burden for my family.

I had some friendships to mend lately too.

But as far as I am concerned, my life is great regardless. Bad things happen, and it's how you cope with them that makes the difference. I have stopped losing weight, and have been fluctuating between staying relatively stable at 139-140, and jumping to 145 at times and then getting myself back under control. I am a little down sometimes because I know I'm not putting in what I should be to my diet and exercise, but I have committed to running and volleyball, which is about all I can handle right now. Plus, household chores, including groceries, are the first thing to take a backseat when I become overwhelmed with all the commitments I have, but I am always being very, very careful to make wise food choices, even if they cost an arm and a leg.

The BEST news I have is that I have officially run 10KM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHHHHoooolllyy sheeeet! I might have done almost 11km in fact, in 1:10:00ish. Now my goal is to apply my ability to run for that long to make it from my house to my grandma's place. Then once I do that, I'll set some new goals.

I wanted to have a killer bikini body by July, which aint gonna happen, but I'm content to just be maintaining for now, since I don't want to push myself into another burnout. I have a lot to manage emotionally right now, so when things are calmer, I will focus once again on pushing my physical and mental limits.

I just had an amazing birthday week, with so many amazing people around me. And my boyfriend is just about the best thing since sliced bread. Yesterday, out of nowhere, he made me turn the car around without explaining why, just saying he forgot something, then made me pull over, walk into a flower shop, and pick a bouquet. I responded "for who, my family?" (we were spending time with my family this weekend), and he told me no, they were just for me. I melted. In fact I nearly cried. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

This is but one of many things he does to support and show his love for me, and he has no idea the effect it has. I am exploding inside, so to avoid making all my friends sick by gushing about it, I chose to blog my rainbowy love. He understands how much damage I have from my past, and he does everything to show me I'm worth more, and I consider myself lucky. Intensely.

Alright, so that's my news. I hope to start blogging more frequently, but we'll see how my life unravels in the weeks and months to come. I may have to dedicate more time to family, but I'll do my best, for my readers, but most of all, for my own well-being.

I hope you're all sustaining your motivation and taking great care of yourselves. No matter what's happening, that should always come first, otherwise you're eventually useless to everyone. And no one else can do it for you.